my problem is..

I dunno.. In order to be in a relationship you have to learn to pick and choose your battles... and at the end of the day, you realize a weird face or oddball comment isn't worth battling over lol

It's ok to not be in a relationship. Are these silly lil things really what's stopping you? Or do you think deep down maybe you just plain don't want one right now?

 

i feel i defiantly do. but, after getting completely fucked over.. and divorced already, i don't wanna make the same mistakes over and over again.

 

Ruthy you are a 15

It just sounds like you have not met the right person. When you really care for someone you don't notice the little things.

 

Best reply ever

 

Yeah I think you're just over-evaluating the person. If you spend your life looking for the 'perfect' person, you'll die alone. The simple fact is there is no single person that can fulfill every dream you have of your perfect significant other. I think you have to find those core values that you're looking for, then evaluate whether the small things are something you can deal with or can't. If you always find yourself saying you can't deal with the small things, you're probably too picky. This is coming from someone who does the same thing. Gotta learn to pick your battles as someone already said

 

I don't know if you're too picky or if it's people in general that both demand and give too little.
If you're like me, you probably want reciprocity, and having the feeling we're giving more than we're being given in return may generate insecurity: it might make you feel that he's not that into you or that he's probably taking you for granted.

But then again, you didn't exactly point those "little things" you're being picky about out. Are we talking about a guy who doesn't walk beside you but in front of you as if he were your patron instead, for example - and this would surely be frustrating - or are we talking about a guy who does something as little as biting his lip frequently?

 

Since this appears to be the female extreme of the perspective-spectrum, Cherea, your good host, will provide you with the male (and truer) perspective:

"The one" is a figment of the imagination, all you can hope for is a good lay with the least amount of work, and if you make the mistake of marrying the dick, he'll grow a fat beer gut and annoyances you've never noticed before, and leave you ignored and loveless in the opposite corner of your crowded apartment...and those will be your good days.

Ain't no happiness nowhere.

Edit: Don't do it, Ruthy. :biggrin:

 

one of the many reasons i love you nyxx <3

 

i don't know really. it's things (sometimes) like having an ungodly annoying laugh. or making certain faces when he eats something. just... stupid shit that i don't think i could stand to see everyday. ya know?

 

iv'e already done that once. my whole thing is, i'm tryna' do it again :/

 

Nah. Can't be too picky. If you really connect with someone right, those peeves simply won't matter.

 

thats kinda how i feel but, it's like.. dude after dude after dude after dude.
and i kind'a feel like a monster cause they all start to really fall for me but, i just... don't have the same feelings, ya know?

 

I agree with Nyxx and Duck. I'm reminded of that part in the movie Goodwill Hunting where Robin Williams talks about how his wife's farts wake her up in her sleep and that's one of the things he loved about her.

The imperfections just become part of that person you love.

 

I loved that, too! It was funny but kinda endearing.

 

Yeah...that's a bit picky!

If you you're not interested in them you shouldn't even start something, in the first place. If you do hoping to fall for them over time, you'll only be wasting your time and theirs. When you force it it's even more unlikely to happen. Passion and love must come naturally; if it's out of obligation it will simply be like swimming against the tide.
Like several other posters said, maybe you are so picky just because you're not that into those guys. When a man you fell chemistry with comes along you will probably actually like these little flaws.

 

Why not?

 

Right back at ya kid......

 

i don't wanna be divorced twice. i was 21 and divorced.

 

it's not that i'm NOT interested. i wouldn't start something if i wasn't.. i'm always interested.. i just start seeing things that drives me nuts.

 

you dont like my nuts?