my world has come crashing down

I've gone through similar things with both of my parents. My mother never said that to me, but she has told me I'm a burden on her life (because she can't bring random drunk guys home and screw em) and my father "cleaned his hands of me" because he chose his wife at the time over me and we didn't get along.

Don't let yourself be in this situation! Maybe you'll find things to be better with your grandmother. Let your mother come to you to apologize. Don't talk to her for a while and don't make matters worse right now by trying to talk to her about this.

 

aw, thank you!

my mom and i have problems that go back years and years...basically she has a very set idea of what kind of person i should be, and i'm not. because of that, she thinks i'm a good for nothing loser and a bum. when we fight, it always gets very heated and intense quickly because we are both tempermental. the only problem is, i always lose because i'm the child and shes the adult. if i get kicked out, this will be the second time. shes also sent me to an institution before, and attempted to have me arrested multiple times during arguments where shes knocked me around a bit, but i've never hit her back. she tried to say i did, but luckily the officer didn't believe her.

 

i'm really sorry you've had to deal with this kind of thing too, that sucks. :hug:

i'm hoping things will be better with her, but our relationship hasn't always been rosy either. it just hasnt been terrible. but yeah, after i got off the phone with grandma i went to my moms room to tell her i was going to stay with her (my grandma). i apologized to her, but she just stared at me blankly and didn't say anything so i walked out.

 

i'm sorry to hear that, i know it can be very hard especially since you only really have your mother and you love her very much.
but it will all pass and things will get better.

just live with your grandma until your mother gets her shit sorted out.
just think, you're 16, in 2 more years you can move out and live on your own, so you won't have to deal with that all the time.

 

Wow, your mom is terrible. You say you try to help her and comfort her, but she says she wish she hadn't given birth to you. Thats terrible. You shouldn't feel bad, it's your mom's problem that she can't realize what a great daughter she has. I hope your grandma loves you more than your mom does.

 

gosh, i just thought of something that makes me a little mad. its probably bitchy and vindictive of me to think this way, but i was thinking about xmas and i remembered that i blew $200 on a diamond necklace for her...and i'm not exactly rolling in the dough. gah...i'm kinda wishing i could take it back, especially since she got me a set of baking pans. i could take it back to kay and get a full refund, it hasn't been 30 days yet. but thats a horrible thing to think. its really tempting though.

god, i'm such a bad person. :&

 

If taking it back wouldn't make you feel bad about yourself afterwards, then go ahead and do it.
Otherwose, leave it there and every time she sees it she will think of you, and what she will be missing when you are gone.

 

she'll probably pawn it or something as soon as we have another fight...but i would feel really bad taking it back. its just...hard to part with that kind of money when you dont have a job. agh. but i really shouldn't sink to that level. its just money. cant take it with you. : P

 

I think that maybe later your mother will regret behaving like that with you. I'm sure many things one says when upset are things one doesn't really mean...

 

So much for a "mothers love" but your not the first as you saw and sadly you woint be the last.
I hope things work out for ya at your grams and frankly I would do all I could to distance myself from that (cough choke) mother.

Seems alot is out here to help here and there so speak out and as you said it could be worse and has been for some on here I know of. Hope things get better very soon.

 

thank you yank :hug:

 

I'd say move out and stay out until your mom figures her shit out.

...and go to highschool.

 

yeah, going back to school is pretty much an enevitability at this point. kinda sucks how far behind i'm going to be though. : P

 

So you'll have a lot to keep you busy. You seem pretty smart, you'll catch up.

 

Being behind is really no big deal. Even if it's as much as a year.

You're still young. I'm a year behind in college now... and honestly... there isn't really any difference.

 

true. come to think of it, in english and history i was already a year ahead, so that should help.

if all else fails, i can just be a super senior.

 

fuck i know what ur going through and its hard but u gotta stay positve and realize that ur mom is probly jus as crazy as mine and no matter what she made u the person u are today and ur going through all this for a reason which u can learn from it all and become a better person
ive learned alot cuz of the shit my mom puts me through one is i know im gonna be a better parent but ull get through it

 

fuck i know what ur going through and its hard but u gotta stay positve and realize that ur mom is probly jus as crazy as mine and no matter what she made u the person u are today and ur going through all this for a reason which u can learn from it all and become a better person
ive learned alot cuz of the shit my mom puts me through one is i know im gonna be a better parent but ull get through it

 

{{{Huge Hugs}}} sweetie...hang in there. Maybe this change will make things better between the two of you.

 

I was a child of divorce. Key word -was-. I am twenty-one now, and I have refused to let all of the baggage that my parents, but mostly my mother tried to burden me with. I too was the scapegoat for her own shortcomings. I completely know how devastating it is when you try to help your mother, but as a result the relationship keeps deteriorating. I hope you can be strong and not let it hold you down. In the last five years, I had to examine myself alot and figure out who's agenda I was living. Was it my own, or the creation of the judgements and opinions of others in my life? I still do this, but I am getting better at it. The best advice I have for you is to work hard, and save your money, and develop a spiritual practice to help you get through the pain. When you are eighteen savings is the biggest advantage after a high school diploma. Don't ever let anyone take your opportunity of education away. You only have two years to go and after that your future is molded by what YOU want. Don't let anyone tell you "you're a fuck up", and if they don't but you see it in their eyes, don't feel their negativity. Thoughts rule the world, I don't remember who said that but it's true. I don't know what your dad is like, but I didn't know mine enough to feel love for him until I was 19 and I moved in for a few months. Now I see him differently. He's isn't like what I thought, and yet not an angel. But I have to say that he was much easier to live with than my mother. Doesn't make it seem brighter, but it's only a couple years until you play by your own rules as long as you want to. I wish you the best of luck with everything.