Oh God, I just hired on to the best stoner job ever.

haha what offence? how sad dont pick on him jus cuz hes a still a virgin from the maryjane. wel bak when i never smoked, i knew what weed smelled like, bnecause if i went sumwhere some of my friends would be like 'smells like weed over here' and id smell it so..i knew haha.

 

the way they do paper routes in my area is really awesome. i did this last summer for a short time, and it was THE best job i've ever had. no boss breathing down my neck, i could just drive around, go for a nice walk watching the sun come up, and once i learned the route i could smoke as much as i wanted without getting lost! the problem is you have to get them all done by 7am, and people will call and complain if its not there early enough for them, then it causes a nuisscance. the place to pick up the newspapers opens up at 2:30-3:00 in the morning, and you go in, get your papers and inserts, roll them all up (usually takes like an hour for me, a little more on sundays) and then go do your thing. since you have such a wide time window and you're an independant contractor (meaning self-employed but under contract with someone else) you basically have your choice to stay up all night and get it done before you go home to bed at/before sunup, or you get up ass early and get the work out of the way and have the rest of the day to relax. unfortunately this paper is an everyday thing, and if you miss even one day without having someone go in to do the work for you, you're out of the job. but it payed like 250USD per week.

 

btw, i currently deliver pizzas. i've made it a point to spit in a particular state troopers food once or twice. the job sucks now because of gas prices, though, and i have been doing it for about a year, since i quit the paper route....so tomorrow is my last day. i'll be unemployed for a bit....i dunno....food sucks.

i had one job before the paper route where people would smoke and drink with the boss, and sometimes even stay in the office partying until midnight (closed at eight or nine, though!) almost everyone there did or sold drugs, but it was a VERY shady telemarketing operation and i was bad at making money for them and thought it was very unethical, so i quit before i was fired, lol. two days before my first day on the job i smoked up my manager and he gave me some beers, though lol. and guess what the telemarketing firm worked for? fundraising for the fraternal order of police foundation! hah....

 

i have worked at wendys, burger king and whataburger... and you know what... fast food sucks, they work you like a dog, you dont get paid for shit and the managers are dicks.


You may be able to get stoned and go to work but it will get old after awhile. maybe you should get a telemarketing job instead, you can still get stoned but you will be in a nice air conditioned building in front of a computer and a headset and you can listen to your own music... and get paid 7 dollars for sitting and talking.

 

haha eh, i worked at ths deli, it wasnt THAT bad..i mean the people i worked with was cool, mostly every1 was a stoner, so i smoked before,during and after work...and im surrounded by free food (sandwiches 2..u can get creative!) but the only thing that sucked is that after a few hrs, i was jus 2 too damn burned out to fucking work. i felt so lazy and it was damn hard 2 do everything, well not really hard, but i jus didint wanna do it at all. but its confusing taking orders from customers when yer all stoned, i messed up the orders sometimes. but i do that normaly, so whatever

 

OH - i think the best job for a stoner is 2 grow and sell, and smoke the profits.

 

that can quickly land you a job selling your ass in a prison.

i had a dealer who had a fucking DEA raid on his house....shotguns leveled at customer's heads, not to mention his own....found like 5 pounds of pot, thousands of dollars in cash, a tiny amount of coke, tons of paraphernelia, and i think a firearm. enough to get him locked up for a good bit, anyway. it was his own fault running his apartment coffeeshop-style with people going in and out all day everyday, but its still sad.

 

Naturally, then you'd be a professional stoner, availing customers of your expertise. BTW, would a headshop require you to take a drug test, and only hire you if it comes back positive?

 

yumm to taco bell
boo to working there
yayy to free food
boo to making tacos all day
yayy for makin some money
boo for havin to go to work every day.

congrats on the job. ur one step ahead of me. im a bum who is too lazy to get a job. so good for u...g'luck with the job

 

The $ you save on free food at taco bell you will end up spending on Kaopectate.

 

yeah but that stuff is so unhealthy and i bet you get sick of it after eating it everyday... it cant be good for you, and whats worse is you see how its made back there and how gross it is, i hate working there they really do work you for such a minimum wage and the managers can be dicks...as well with the customers... oh no i wanted this thing or no chesse....your going to have a classical half baked experience when you decide to quit lol FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, YOUR COOL, and FUCK YOU, IM OUT...PEACEEEEE

 

LOL

 

my dream job for when i'm still a teenager or in my early 20's would be working at this local place called the guitar gallery...you give advice to kids about guitar, effects, etc. and it's all young people there except for the ocassional cool middle aged guyand across town is the store where all these bald 40 yr olds run the guitar shop...they got chops though.

 

i dunno bout you guys but i wouldnt mind being a janitor as a job like dave chapelle's character in half baked. maybe it would be shortlived, but at my last job i loved moping up and stuff after smoking caus i could go into my own little world and the cleaning was always like a mission and i could think about anything, caus i like thinkning and i cant do that when i have to talk to customers who are giving you money to handle and look at what im doing.

 

this is where i'm extra lucky , i deliver the local free paper. i get the papers thursday mid day and have until saturday mid day to deliver them. its an evening paper round so no early mornings

EDIT: i only do one paper round each week. not everyday

 

haha i ain't picking on him . just curious to know how he knows about mj's smell. i suppose its the same as what you said.

 

I think the chiwawa in the taco bell commercial would tase better than the crap they serve there. My theory is they take the old food from a local grocery store for free, grind it all up in a blender, puor it into a taco shell and charge you $4.99 for it.

 

same here...just echoing what ive heard and i go in there alot and it always has that smell

 

Man...I have the WORSE stoner job...

I work at publix...It's a grocery store. I had to sit at a 6 hour orientation about how they're customer service based and with drugs you could never be a friendly person and you'd end up killing customers and such...it's pretty much the most conservative place I know...but like...as far as an actual job goes, it isn't that bad...easy, decent money, not boring, lots of free shit...

Random drug tests 0_o

 

ahhhhhhhhh weed is aesome with like alcohol wich i did with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111