On virginity...

i just watched a documentary about romanians coming to the UK and begging using little children aged 3-5 on londons streets all day. all they seem to do is pump out babies cos they were all pregnant.

 

Well, there is that... Though we kinda have a low birthrate in Romania. Those were probably gypsies(nothin' against them per say, but it kinda buggs me that they give us a bad name with the begging and stuff); they usually have many children. I know a family of gypsies, friends of my old man, they have 6, but they can afford them, so to speak. And they just love children.

 

they were gypos but they were funding people living in massive palaces.

 

The thing about losing your virginity is that you can't guarantee or even know for sure that you're with the "right" one. There is no right one as far as the rest of the world is concerned, really, it's whether or not YOU feel in your heart he is right. Now that does not mean he is your soulmate or will be your forever partner. Oftentimes the first partner is not the last, and there is nothing wrong with that.

As far as the situation and circumstances surrounding the actual first time, sure, the fairytale romance would be nice, but you have to remember guys don't have the storybook romances on the brain and since it takes two to tango, things may not go as planned or be nearly as special as you hoped for. Don't let this get you down, when two people get together to collaborate on anything, it will never be perfect from either perspective anyway.

Don't build it up to be some great thing or you may set yourself up for big disappointment. Just go into it with an open mind, don't rush to lose it, but don't keep it locked up, either. Lose it when YOU feel it's right. And don't beat yourself up if it's not all you wanted it to be. Ask just about anyone who waited until marriage and they'll tell you just the same as those who didn't, the first time is awkward and painful. It's much better after the first time, so who wants to dwell on that anyway?

 

Trouble is with that kind of worrying its all short term reactionary stuff, about jealousy vanity ego. Worrying too much about your reputation, end up with a guy too concerned about your history, thats too controlling, more than likely down the track he's more likely to be the abusive controlling type, reacting in a bad way to any previous history is just about a threat to his ego and if he's not going to handle it maturely, its a bad sign for the future. You want him to be a little jealous of course, but you dont want to end up with a husband too jealous

And as for worrying about your reputation with the other girls, its useless in the end, when it comes to competiting for a guy they'll make stuff up about you behind your back whether you did it or not. And when they go on to marry will get too territorial about their husbands and cut you off anyway, especially if you look better than them, regardless of what your reputation was

No, not at all, My opinion is everyone de-matures as they get older

You'll probably need to at least once in your life to return the favour and treat a guy like an object.

And what may seem obvious up front a lot of the time can lead to the opposite. Sometimes it is acting they dont care is just defensive.

Imagine with one of these guys you previously dated, a couple months in you got to the point where you said tonights the night, I'm ready and they turned around and said, no I just want to be friends - how would that make you feel? - Like complete shit

You say you dont think its bad that you didnt do it with someone who doesnt care about you....You can also say its bad you didnt do it with someone who did care for you.

Yes earlier on you may not have been ready, Yes as a teen you would have been too stressed about getting pregnant. Yes you have to worry about were they just after sex and as soon as you put out they move on. Yes you are told they think too much about sex.....but besides all that, if you dont want to do it with them they will just get it in their heads you are not attracted to them, which will make them feel like shit. And as a girl you wont really understand that till it happens to you

But in the end it doesnt really have anything to do with you or him, if you want to settle down have kids you have to catch them when they want to settle down, if you want that now, no chance with a 20 yr old guy, either go for one at least 5 years older or wait till then

 

Here is another thought about men wanting to fuck virgins. A virgin doesn't know how bad a lay he is.

Not to sound culturally insensitive but when I hear Muslims talking about 72 virgins waiting for them in heaven I can't help but think "Wow! 72 chances to have the worst sex ever."

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Yes, but 7.2 of them are lesbians. :tongue:

 

the whores!

yeah, beat up the guy in that case.

 

don't do it on a dare. In school three hirls dared each other to be the first and ended up with unintended consequences of pregnancy.

 

My feelings on this are weird and varied because I know each couple is unique in their own way and what may work for some people won't for others but I do have some generic advice:

1. Don't do it because of peer pressure.

2. Be careful with your sexual health (STD/STI's and pregnancies, and emotional/mental problems that can arise after any type of sex act, oral or otherwise.)

3. Don't spout hate or super mean comments to those you have not remained a virgin in your relationship with them, regardless if you were/are a virgin when you met them (it's not a contest, and sex should never be about ego to begin with)

4. If your religious (especially the Abrahamic religions), don't view sex as evil, or shy away from it but be responsible with sexual things and honor your faith. Knowing a good amount of anatomy, mental and sexual knowledge can strengthen a marriage and thus keep couples together and not let it fall apart. Let's be honest here, while not being the only factor that causes divorce, sexual issues can and does cause divorce which is also a sin in these religions so.