ok you are having a gay fairy orgy with house and jay k after shoving a britvic bottle up jay's ass, house explains the medical implication of doing such a thing so you throw a billiard ball at his head. and then 69. too easy
You're all kind of on the right foot with the gay thing, but it's not that. I'm giving some good clues here. I should run a fucking pub quiz actually. I thought clue #3 would have been a give away but there you go...