Parenting and Pot 101

Be careful. At 10 I was more anti pot than I am now- especially because several family members, including my favorite uncle, had lost several good jobs due to pot use. So if I had found out that my parents did it, I would have called child protection services on them for my brother and I. That was before all that DARE bs and stuff, but I just saw pot's effects on my family members and decided it was like a terrorist. My parents explained it pretty liberally to me when all of that happened but they likened it to alcohol and I HAAAAATED it when my parents drank, so bad times.

Just be careful. It's amazing how kid's brains link things like that and the reactions they could have.

 

the problem is you shouldn't wait until they're 10 to tell them the truth

 

They don't need to know the truth at 10 years old. Why does a 10 year old need to have that information? Let them be a kid for awhile longer. They'll be witnessed to a lot more sooner or later.

I know for a fact when I was 10 I wouldn't of been able to handle that information. My parents didn't drink or smoke weed and I respected them for that. Pot wasn't anything anyone in my family did however I had friends parents who did it and their family life wasn't anything I would of wanted to be a part of. They weren't responsible smokers.

 

you thinking pot is bad has nothing to do with lieing to your kids.Like i said in a previous post,if you think it's bad quit,if you don't,don't lie about it.Sure you respect your folks for not indulging,but what if they did and lied to you.Kids have a way of finding out the truth anyway.Most kids can handle almost anything except knowing that their parents don't trust them with the truth.My parents were responsible drinkers sometimes having a glass of wine when dining out,that is what i learned from them.moderation not hypocritism.

 

I raised 4 kids to adulthood, and have lots of friends and acquaintances who have raised kids and I've seen all the angles. I think I can safely say that hiding things from your kids is a mistake. They figure out whats going on, see their parents hiding things from them (lying to them).They get curious themselves, and they start hiding things too. The truth is not out there, and so the kids have no experience to go by and they tend to get into other worse things because there was no communication to begin with.

The other side of the coin is kids who live in environments where any and all drugs are done in front of them as if it is all right. These kids tend to turn out just like their parents did...

I have never sheltered my kids from any of this, even when people were doing seriously bad drugs around them. But I have always been straight foreward about my feelings regarding these things, and always explained why. "See how so and so acts after shooting that stuff into their veins? It's pretty stupid isn't it?" "See what drinking all that whisky does to people?" "So and so died because of using those stupid drugs...."

These are the best life lessons for kids who might be exposed at some time to hard drugs, etc. Which is probably ALL of them. Nothing hidden, totally honest.

Unfortunately, the school system forces you to teach your children to hide things that happen at home. But the way the world is turning these days, it's probably a GOOD thing to teach your kids not to trust the "authorities". I our case, it helped to create a certain closeness in my family, a feeling of "we're all in this together, and we all need to help and look out for each other within our family." So, the result of this experiment is that all my grown kids smoke pot, but aside from some minor experimentations, they all have a GREAT outlook on hard drugs and alcohol, and I can forsee no one in my family ever forming any problems with substance abuse. And we're all still a very close knit family...

 

I did not say I think pot is bad. I just don't think a 10 year old needs to learn about it at that age. There is a big difference.

Sure tell your kids when they are older and maybe can handle it at a more mature level. You mean to tell me a 10 year old is going to understand that pot isn't dangerous while the schools are telling them differently? Is that another way of undermining authority?

I believe reponsible adults can smoke pot and be responsible with it. A child whose mind is still developing and strengthening I don't think that's right for them to be playing around with drugs. There is plenty of time for all that. Give their little minds a chance to develope.

I am a parent. I've also had my fun too. I sometimes drink wine with my dinner. I have maybe one beer a night that takes me 3 hours to drink, sometimes I never finish it. My children have never seen me drunk nor have they seen their father drunk. My children are going to grow up seeing their parents be responsible parents.

At 10 I would of understood once I was older to understand why my parents would of kept that from me.

 

I have never known what kidz tink.

 

With friends and family we are open about it, but professionally or community wise we are very discreet. It is a bitch to feel shamed so much that we have to keep it from our kids. This is society's fault. Thank you for the good advice around this, some posts are along the same lines as my thoughts.

Some posts are just stupid.

 

basically kidz are naively honest, an innately know the basics uv guud an bad. liein 2 children iz ah sin.

 

Your wine analogy is good. Explaining to your kids why wine OK for grown-ups but not for kids is the same discussion as why pot is an adult vice.

You should talk to your kids about pot. In school, they are getting messages that say that turning family members in to the cops is a good thing. You have to start now to protect them from the attitude that the state is superior to friends and family.

By the way, just a heads-up, no matter how cool you are, no matter how cool your kid's friends think you are, your teenaged kids will see you as the enemy and rebel. They will be at least as rebelious, sneeky and disobediant as you were at that age.

(One of my friends has a 16 yr old daughter. The kid is a total bratty bitch until she gets into a different room from her mother, at which point she turns into a decent kid.)

 

This actually makes a TON of sense.

 

Absolutely! Not only will you be being honest with kids who are a lot more sophisicated tham most people give them credit for, as kids who ASK questions deserve answers, but you will be protecting your children and your family from invasion of privacy. Also, it is a good conversation starter about Fascism and it's effects and about the government. We talk about advanced political subjects all the time, in front of ALL our kids, since they were babies, I don't beleive in "sheilding" chidlren from things that kids do talk about, and I would rather be the one to tell them the truth about these subjects. Whether it is drugs, or sex, or Politics. Rather than them hearing the bullshit that the kids whose parents lie to them tell others.......

 

how the hell can a 12 year old get cocain and xtc? ontario is in canada right
if he actualy buys them from somewhere else you cant help it but man dont give him drugs.. and how can a 12 year old afford them either. you get like 100dollars weekly money?

about the orginal post:
my mother was and is an alcoholist and for some reason she realy disliked drinking in front of us (me and my little brother). just teach it like about alcohol "it's for grown ups youll understand when your older remember this is a family secret so dont tell anyone you dont trust or you teacher etc..

kids are smart they understand and usualy they idolize and look up to their parents (unless you beat em and say you hate em but i am sure thats not the case)
but if you smoke pot i am surprised you just didnt "tell" let your kids know all along like they were around as babyes when you were smoking in the balcony or something
it's no big deal just dont let em try and tell them its bad until they reach curtain age say 15 or 16

 

well we didn't always smoke. when they were babies we didnt smoke unless we were out, mind you my husband didnt smoke because he was a 12 stepper at that time.


we decided together that since he doesnt drink etc that we would smoke pot.

we were worried that our kids would be predisposed to addictive behaviors and tried to keep it from them.

 

He borrows money from people, and he goes into his savings in his bank account. He's dealing as well. This kid has connections for anything, and has no judgement at all. I don't understand it, but it's true. Yes, its in Canada....

 

Well, you can explain to your kids about your husband's past addiction problems, and it can be a good example to them of the damage it can cause, and why substances need to be used responsibly and not abused.

 

My dad has the best attitude I could think of--He and I maintain a policy of total honesty. We have since I was about 11. If I am tottally honest with him, he'll not force his viewpoints onto me, he'll instead just give me advice and hope I follow it. I found out he smoked pot about a year before he told me. I smoke pot now, more than he does, but we're honest about it with each other. It's much better this way.

 

I have two wounderful kids and I smoke daily, it helps with parenting. Anyway we pratice honesty, I would never lie or hide something from my children. I feel that my being honest and explaining it to them, they in return wont hide or lie to me. The truth sets you free.

 

In my country wine is legal to drink at the age of 21. Pot is not legal unless you live in one of the few states that gives you a prescription for it. If you get caught your screwed.

So what do you do then once your kid gets caught and then has to deal with the consequences? How do you protect them? I don't expect you to answer that. These are questions I have that makes me feel like some things don't need to be discussed at such a young age.

 

Little kids sometimes say stuff whether it's right or wrong of them. They might tell other people that you toke and have weed on you some time and get you in big trouble. You could even get your kid taken away from ya for that shit. Be very careful, and just assume that she didn't see. When she's older, you'll notice when you can definately trust her with something like that. Until then... maybe weazel in some proper drug education so she isnt all quacked out at school when they start the brainwashing process.

Am I too late for this thread? Has it jumped the shark?