Parents with dreads

Maybe she just doesn't know what to say because it was a long time ago. I'd do the same, I see loads of old friends in town and I pretend not to see them because I hate small talk and would feel ridiculous if they didn't recognise me.

 

But after bumping into me 10 times and purposely avoiding me within the span of two months? I get what you are saying, but I feel this is a touch different than that situation because she's in very close proximity to me. If it were someone that didn't recognize me at all, I think they would have said hi or introduced themselves. Meh. Getting all psych on this now. lol

 

hey daisy,
I understand where your'e coming from. The parents in my daughters class are super cliquey and they never make eye contact with me or even acknowledge me...I know its because of my hair and the way I dress and the stickers on my car. When I drop my daughter off at school and pick her up all the moms are always huddled around the classroom door chatting and laughing....and as soon as I stroll up they stop and seem nervous and seriously go out of their way to not make eye contact with me. It used to bother the hell out of me but now I think its hillarious. My presence makes them nervous. I have all the power here and so do you. Bwahahaha!
Id say that the only person you should try and connect with is the teacher. Is it possible to volunteer more in your sons class? Do you have an open communicative relationship with his teacher? If you havnt already, I would go out of my way to establish a positive relationship with your sons teacher. Show her you are dedicated and want to be a part of your sons learning environment. This way...if the psycho did say weird things to the teacher...your actions will disprove them.
Furthermore....i wouldnt give the lady who ignores you any of your time or anymore of your thoughts.
Somehting I have learned in life is that if you go into a situation feeling insecure and scared of judgement....people will sense that because it shows whether you intend it too or not. From now on act like you own the damn school and stroll around in confidence. Stop trying to get eye contact from peeps and just stay focused and true to yourself and your son.

 

Your son will benefit from your confidence as well
I think cutting will show your kids that its okay to change who you are just cuz some folks dont approve

 

I think mandy needs a medal <3

 

this isn't entirely relevant, but it is awesome.


i know a guy whose mum is white and dad is asian. he grew up in melbourne, and one day his mum was walking him to school. they passed some new graffiti that said 'go home asians'. his mum walked him right back home, got some spraypaint out of the garage and went and changed it so it said 'asians welcome'.

 

Wow that is so interesting you know someone whos mom did that do you think your cool now or something?

 

A good friend of my Auntys had dreadlocks, and he always felt that whenever he set foot on a school ground, he was being watched, not just by the other parents, but by the teachers especialy, almost as If they thought his 7 year old was some kind of drug runner because his Father had Dreadlocks. Dont do anything silly to your dreads if your not ready to get rid of them, just because you feel persecuted by the other parents and teachers. Eventualy theyl be won over by your personality Im sure and realise your tip top

 

That is actually a really cool story. Thats such a mindful way to approach the situation. She could've had an emotional breakdown or gone on a total rageful rampage....but instead she taught her son to gracefully make change happen when faced with ignorance and absurdity. In that sense I think this story is totally relevant to Daisy's situation.

 

If I Were In Your Position Daisy, I Wouldn't Change A Thing.

You Sound Like A Lady Who Really Has Her S**t Together, So Why

Would You Want To Change Yourself For Those "Plastic Buttplugs"...

They Have Already Made Up Their Minds About You, And Even If You

Turned Up At The School Gates Tomorrow Driving The Latest Mercedes,

And Wearing The Latest Fashions From Paris, It Ain't Goin To Change

Anything.

The Only Thing That May Happen Is They Will Check The Model Of

Your Merc, Then Go And Buy The Next Model Up The Line To Spite You.

Remain True To Yourself Always....:grouphug:.



Cheers Glen.

 

:blush5:

 

And they call me a vandal, at least I don't encourage little kids .

 

Hi As I mentioned in another thread, I cut my first dreads because my son was embarrassed by them. My husband also hated them then, and I knew (quite clearly) that I was being labeled by other parents and by some school personnel as a "druggie hippie" for heaving dreads. (Interestingly, I have never been a drug user - can count on 2 hands the number of times I've smoked pot. My reason for dreads was and is spiritual. How to combat ignorance is really your question, and I wish I had an excellent answer.)

School employees shouldn't judge a child by the child's family...they shouldn't judge a child by the way he/she dresses...simply put - they should not judge AT ALL.

Tragically, they do judge - and they judge a lot. I spent a great amount of time volunteering for my kids' schools when they were growing up; in addition, I've had/have a number of friends who are teachers. Most school personnel, like most people in general, are not harsh or overly-judgmental - but some are. Perhaps too many are. I often sat in the teachers' lounge at my children's school and listened to the teachers gossip shamelessly about their students' parents. I have heard friends who are teachers do the same thing. It was/is disgusting to me. But, that's the world as it is.

If your child happens to have a teacher, principal, etc. who is the sort to put people in "categories", your child may suffer the consequences of your behavior, appearance, whatever. Very sad, but it's true. And if your kid is aware of it, and is embarrassed or frightened to the point of insecurity by it, you can be inviting some serious trouble for your kid, and between you and your kid, if you don't put your child's feelings as top priority. I believe that when we become parents, we need to accept that our kids' needs and feelings must come before our own - until our kids are adults themselves, then we can say, "I did the job, I did it well, I 'paid my dues' and now my needs are top priority."

To some extent, the location in which we live makes a difference, but there are stereotypes that people uphold, no matter where we are living. (A major one being that people with dreads are stoners, outlaws, rebels, unclean, who-the-heck-knows-what.) If it's just "me" (as it is now) well, I can shrug off what others think of me. If, however, I am responsible for my dependent child's social well-being and for my family's reputation in my child's community, my responsibilities are quite different.

ALL this - and yet, I also want to mention that mandyland has a very valid point! If we can be confident and feel good about who we are - TRULY, without being arrogant or childishly rebellious - our self-confidence goes a long, long way to establish others' respect for us. And, of course, our children learn not from what we say, but from what we do...the actions we take.

I apologize for posting this lengthy post. I wish I knew exactly the "right" thing to tell you, but obviously there is no perfect way. I can only share my personal experience with you and tell you that, for me and my family, in that time and place, my choice worked for us in the long run.

 

I'm gonna try and respond to some of hte posts. And thanks again everyone.

I do have a good relationship with his teacher apart from the obscure things that I have felt. And truthfully, some of the parents have small chat with me just like they do the other ones... and one of the "cliquey" ones started chatting with me the other day and was very kind. (Until the other lady that ignores me came up and turned her back to me to start her own conversation).

mandy, I'm quite a confident person and I'm always holding my head up high to say hello to everyone in hte school. Many of the staff "know me" now and always greet me very pleasantly. But I totally get what you are saying. So kiss my ass snob mom! lol


Brothermat, that is what I'm worried about in the future. But when he is a bit older, we will be living elsewhere and likely have less people that care about my personal fashion style.

Thanks GlenGlen.. That was sweet. =) And sadly, I don't think my 12 year old minivan has made any of them upgrade just yet... lol!!!

Becuase i have another little one, the time that I can volunteer is greatly reduced, however, I'm going to speak to his teacher on monday (the little dude has pink eye today so is at home) and ask if I can formally volunteer. I will just take my smaller dude to the sitters. I am certain that action will speak loads.

SisterRags, I totally get what you are saying. A close family member of mine looks after children in her house and the way she talks about the parents really bothers me. It's her job to look after thier children, not judge the parents... but it ALWAYS happens. I hope when my children are old enough to articulate their opinions better, that I can listen to them with the same grace that you did for yours. I appreciate you taking the time to write so much.

You guys all rock!

 

No problem! I was trying to be as honest & clear as I could be. I sooo feel for you and sooo wish I had that magic answer.

ie: <------ here's a pie, though : )

 

Put Your Hands In The Air, And Step Away From The Pie Very Slowly...

We Don't Want Any Innocent Passers By Getting Hurt.

Don't Bother Calling The Police, Cause I Will Have Already Eaten The

Evidence Before They Get Here..., And Following The Trail Of Crumbs

Will Only Lead You In Ever Diminishing Circles.

And We All Know What Happens When We Go In Ever Diminishing Circles

Don't We..??...



Cheers Glen.

 

^^^