Please die Ana

Personally I starve myself. It's disgusting. I love it when I actually eat now...

Im terrified of being fat. Cause when I WAS fat I was treated like a second class citizen so I still starve myself and lose mad weight fast and it validates me...i know its retarded... totally stupid but i get cha...

 

its simple, life can be very simple people just make it complicated... everything has to do with will power and mind power, thats all you need to be strong in.

 

The mind is far from a simple thing though

 

well i can tell u that i was anorexic 2 and a half year ago from when i was 12 on and off till when i was put inpatient when i was 14 and 75 lbs

anyways im 16 now, and i don't give a fuck about my weight, i'm naturally thin but its like healthy thin not starving myself thin

but yeah idk...i hate feeling sorry for myself so what got me out of it was just to be like ok FUCK this, i need to grow the fuck up and shit like that, idk most people get better through years of therapy and all that emotional shit but for me it was just like i don't want to do this

weed definitely helps, cuz even when i was trying to gain weight i wouldn't get hungry since i was so used to not eating but then id get the munchies and eat a shitload


anyways i'd way rather be with someone who's slightly chubby than someone who's too skinny. i know that looks is not the whole issue, but still.
and i think i look a LOT better now that i have thick thighs (not fat just thick compared to the rest of me) and a nice ass not just bones sticking out of flesh

 

Yes, but the anorexic mind twists this statement into "will power and mind power will make me strong, so I will be strong and stop eating and show everyone, all my demons and myself that I am stronger and can rise above eating and live empty and hollow"

 

wow, people don't know what they're doing to their bodies..
i want to live longer so im gonna smoke weed and eat everyday
good luck everyone <3