Power_13's Official Bad Joke Thread

What's the difference between an egg and a druM?

You can beat a...umm...uhh...crap.

 

Just kidding

 

i love this thread....bad jokes are awesome...

here's some from the lame joke thread on the NZ forum:

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left him



What's small, brown and looks in second story windows?
A poo on stilts


What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes

Have you heard about the new pirate movie?
It's rated arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


What's small and brown and crawls up your leg?
A homesick poo

Why does snoop dog need an umbrella when he goes out?
Fo' Drizzle.



A polar bear walks into a bar and says 'I'll have a gin and........................................................................tonic thanks.
the bar tender says "why the big pause?" and the polar bear says
" i don't know, i was born with them"


and finally, the bad taste but funny joke -
A baby seal walks into a club...

 

I was considering this one, but decided not to. Congratulations, you are more daring than me



The dog with no legs...would he be called Woodbine? Because his master takes him out for a drag...

 

ahaha, i'll bet. awesome.

 

So, this woman was in a car crash. Terrible crash, she was rushed to hospital in a coma.

The woman's husband visited her every day, in between working and caring for their kids. After two weeks, the woman was still in a coma and not responding, but the man clung onto hope.

One night after work, he came in to see her. A nurse pulled him aside.

"Mister Smith." She explained. "I'm the nurse who takes care of your wife. I just wanted to let you know...this mornign, I was giving your wife a wash. When I washed below her stomach...near her genitals...the machine monitoring her condition showed her heartbeat speed up, the first reaction we've had from her in two weeks." The nurse blushed a little. "I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I think that you could get her to react through...oral sex."

The man beamed. "Thank you nurse, this is the best news I've had in weeks!"


As the man went to see his wife, the nurse pulled the examination curtain and went back to her station.

Five minutes later, an alarm began wailing. The man rushed out from behind the curtain as the nurse jumped from her chair and ran to the woman's bed.

"What happened, Mr Smith?!"

"I don't know!" Mr Smith replied. "I guess she couldn't breathe with my cock in her mouth."

 

Why did the sailor fall into the sea?
He was dead.




Why did the second sailor fall into the sea?
He thought it was a game.




Why did the third sailor fall into the sea?
Pier pressure.

 

Why did the French man fall into the sea?
He was dead.




Why did the second French man fall into the sea?
He thought it was a game.




Why did the third French man fall into the sea?
Pierre pressure.

 

Hahaha, that actually made me laugh. It's only taken you FIVE YEARS. Hey can you imagine Nip doing a cover of David Bowie?

 

good thread man ..........what do donkeys on blackpool beach get for their dinner ............half an hour like everyone else .......................e ooor

 

Man, I was reading this thread happily but then realised that it was about 2 years old which freaked me out...it seems kinda dead you know? Hard feeling to describe really. I like your jokes by the way!

 

I occasionally bring it back when I remember a good one

 

What did the inflatable schoolmaster say to the inflatable boy who came into the inflatable school with a pin?

You've let me down, you've let the school down, but most of all you've let yourself down.