Pregnant x ruining my life

Your dick, your responsibility... there is nothing artificial about that.

 

how 'bout 'your uterus your responsibility'.

 

what does that even mean? people can't learn from mistakes? the only people who can offer advice on a given situation are those who have absolutely no experience with that situation?

 

Well, unless you have grown a uterus I would say that is pretty fucking funny...

If you werent so busy trying to deny that a guy is just as responsible as the woman, you would have seen me say many many times that both are responsible for the child.

Seems this topic was started by a guy trying to deny responsibility for his part, obviously the slant of the conversation is towards the guys responsibility.

Just to make sure you didn't miss it, or forget it after reading the next line...

A CHILD IS BOTH PARTIES RESPONSIBILITY.

 

why is that funny? because it is exactly the same as saying 'his dick his responsibility'.

i'm not denying a kid is biologically both parties' responsibility. but in a case where one party intentionally gets pregnant only to hold on to a guy who has told her he doesn't want kids, in that case that kid is her sole responsibility. this is my opinion.

we are not gonna change each other's opinions here. and that is not even what this thread is about. OP needs feedback that will help him with his case not a bunch of self-moralizing people who i'd like to see not freaking out under similar circumstances.

let's leave it at that.

 

To the OP this child is as much your responsibility as it is hers. I was raised without a father and a mentally ill mother for the first 5 years of my life and I can say from my personal experience that that is not the way to go. You will ruin that child's early life and quite possibly the rest of it if they don't learn to cope, if you aren't there for it. If nothing else convince her to put it up for adoption. Somewhere out there is a loving family who would almost certainly be able to take better care of your child than you.

 

The OP needs to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for where he chose to stick his dick.

 

You couldn't believe that she got pregnant when you were having sex with no condom? How is that hard to imagine?

#2, in the scenario above she threatens suicide and instead of calling the police, you go back to her and comfort her. Hoping she will see it's not working. Well Einstein, what part of it isn't working for her? She threatens suicide, you go back, looks like it's working to me.

What we have here is an idiot tax. People who make stupid mistakes end up paying for it. I'm 44 years old, I know from experience. So go pay your tax for the next 18 years and try to learn something from it. If you don't learn anything else, learn to use condoms unless you are trying to get pregnant. Another option would be a little snip-snip and no more babies.

 

Maybe, as far as having stolen his choice and made it for him in a way she knew he wouldn't like, it's her responsibility.

However, he still should have been prepared for that possibility, even if she didn't do it on purpose, of her having a kid, if he had penetrative sex with her.

Regardless of who can be determined to have "responsibility", there's a new person's entire life and it's quality at stake here. He's a pretty shitty person if, given that he did it, even if she fucked him over, he would let his kid live with ONLY that sort of horrible mother, and no good father (or good parent at all). That nut was worth creating a person who would learn to be just like their horrible mom? Really?

 

Kids should be everyones responsibility.


Education and Health should be Universal at least until they get out of high school, not dependant on which dad they have and how much child support he doesnt pay.

 

Quite really, People have sex for all sorts of reasons, now the basis is condoms are not 100% safe. If people relied on condoms only then its more of a chance of the woman getting pregnant than if the pill or implant was used.

I mean I never had the option to go with the wind and rely on the pill/implant or whatever just being 98%/99% effective, knowing theres a small 1 or 2% risk. She had actually increased things from being a 1% chance of her getting pregnant to a near 100% chance without me knowing.

I wouldnt call the police when she threatened suicide because it was at that moment. I mean the situation where someone who you did have feelings for says they are gonna kill themselves, you dont think of police, you just think that you can stop it happening at that second.


I do have no doubt she would be a good mother, she has the cash, the friends, the family, and by not aborting the baby it shows she really wants it. In a relationship when it comes to having the feelings and ways partners have I can say yes she is a bitch and really unstable when it comes to that but otherwise she would be ok (its like when you see or hear of women who have seriously lost the plot, they cant handle life, they cant deal with things, but the 1 thing they cling to until the bitter end is their child)

Tom.... as for "And yet you judged a woman who you have never even heard of, on the basis of what someone online said...."

The bottom line I have said before and I will say again is that im not here to twist the truth, I mean why the hell would I come onto a forum where im not known and dont know anyone to get advice on something im twisting the truth about?

Its pretty much anonymous, nobody here will ever see or meet myself or anyone I have mentioned, nothing will ever get back to anyone thus putting anything that isnt fact will just not get the advice im after and will be pointless really.


I agree with meridian with a few bits, what is still strange and hard to take is the woman got pregnant without my consent, by coming off the pill without saying she intentionally increased her chances of becoming pregnant by a fair amount. Then once she becomes pregnant I get no say in weather she is keeping it or not especially when she has already decided before saying a thing to me that she is keeping it. Then to add to it, she would be getting the government to milk maintenance off me.... buts its not because she needs the cash, its because she could well believe ill find it a struggle to pay (which I will) and then give in, get back with her, and move in together as a happy family.

 

Now you're pretty much proving what tom said.

You're saying she'd be a good mother so you can feel okay about running away. She obviously will NOT, having cash doesn't mean anything about parenting, and wanting a baby to trap the boyfriend that you held around with suicide threats is NOT something anyone who could EVER be a good mother would do.

You're a sucker. And she got you, but not as badly as you got yourself, and as you continue to get yourself. I don't envy you, not because you're in a bad situation but because you have no hope in hell of handling the situation you're in, due to ineptitude.

Yes, this is anonymous. You're here to make yourself feel better.

 

Here is a free education to get you started on growing up....

The pill, is only effective if it is taken. Did you see her take it? No? Then you were a moron for trusting the fate of your life, and the fate of a possible child on someone you didn't like. Even if she had taken it, it isnt 100% effective.

The chances of getting pregnant from unprotected sex are not 100%.

Now, the most important thing you can take from all of this... is that it is YOUR choice where you stick your dick, and you are responsible for the results...

Sound familiar yet? If not, I am more then happy to repeat it another couple of dozen times until it either sinks through your fucking skull, or you decide to fuck off... I don't really give a fuck which it is now, except that there is still a child that YOU fathered that you are still doing your best to avoid any responsibility for.

 

It was about the previous thing mentioned, where he (tom) said she has money, she has friends/family, she has her business, so how can she be the psycho 1? (well as he compares to me, living at home with "mommy", no friends, and no cash)

Im not here at all to make myself feel better, what comes into the question as well is lets say a girls raped, now shes pregnant, more often that not she will blame that on the baby by aborting it because she hates the man that did it to her and she doesnt want anything to remember them by for many years,

My situation is nowhere near as bad as being raped. I mean hell I know people who were raped and id never wish it on anyone, but maybe its a similar hatred for this girl because of what I had been through with her and how I hadnt realised it at the time (put anyone here in a similar situation and see how difficult it had been).

Her situation just seems shes happy, kid on the way,and a key way which she believes will get me back (via the ways of pay maintenance, be broke and not be with her, or be with her, be miserable but pay what I can)

 

Quite a sad input really, i mean is that how you speak to everyone here?

So in your perfect imaginary world its the situation of.... have sex, then if theres a kid "fucking deal with it".... Someones raped "fucking deal with it", someone is mislead "you should of been tougher, fuckin deal with it",

Now I know why the country is in no better way than it was 10 years ago, because they are using peoples tax money to pay benefits to people like you who clearly have no clue what its like to be in real situations with real people that doesnt involve a pc desk and a bag of cheesey puffs

 

If we're going on what tom said, start going by what tom's saying.

If you go by what tom's saying, you need to nut up and get ready to be a dad. If you go by what YOU are saying, you still need to nut up and get ready to be a dad. Even if she WAS a fit parent, one isn't enough. You made your bed, time to lie in it.

Yeah, can be frustrating. I think I made a thread about it, to whine, but I still knew what I had to do and I'm doing it. Quitcha bitchin' and take care of business. Assuming the DNA test is positive on you, you ARE going to pay anyway, so you should probably try not to be a piece of shit, and get your moneys worth of parenting at the same time.

 

ok, lets all calm down

'Steven', i haven't been reading all of the posts so I don't know what you've been saying so far.
Just based on your opening post.

It sucks you're having a baby with someone you don't love anymore, but unfortunately these things happen. Its not the babies fault that you didn't wear a condom (i know you said you thought she was on the pill, but if you REALLY thought she was crazy possessive then you shouldn't have been so naive ,bitches be crazy!!! )

This baby deserves a daddy, that doesnt mean you have to be part of the baby momma's life.. Do what you can for the child, because if you don't, they'll come to your door one day asking questions that you will have to answer. So don't only think of yourself, think of this NEW LIFE you have created!!

 

very grown-up reaction.

why don't we try to keep personal attacks out of the topic. it's ugly. you have the right not to like somebody, but shouting on the internet forum how stupid you think someone is is not much smarter either.

his situation is comparable to someone getting pregnant as a result of rape. which is what he said. he didn't compare his situation to a woman actually getting raped. try to calm down and read through whole sentences not just tiny little bits and pieces.

 

That was not a personal attack. That was my opinion.

As for your bullshit of it being comparible...

Lets compare this shall we...

The woman said, lets fuck, I'm on the pill (a lie), they fucked, one would assume both reaching satisfaction (at the very very least, HE DID).

compared to a guy grabbing a woman walking down a street, perhaps threatening her with a gun or a knife, slapping and beating her around, ripping her clothes off while she cries and screams as he FORCES himself on her with no regard to her at all.

A see no comparison... of course, I am not a little boy desperately trying to make it seem its okay to father children and then deny responsibility.

 

if the result is unwanted pregnancy then the analogy is there.