Pussy Paradox

If you're not talking about strangers, you're at least talking about a woman who's never shown any romantic interest in you.

Again, whether a stranger or a friend, this woman has never shown interest in you, so why would you assume that she'd be open to dating you? The default should be that she'll respectfully decline whatever it is that you're proposing and that it has very little to do with your character. How could she make a judgment on your character, considering you've never dated and she doesn't know what kind of boyfriend you would be? I guess I'm saying that I wouldn't consider it a romantic endeavor when you approach a girl for the first time because it's not mutually romantic - she doesn't feel any connection to you and she doesn't owe you anything. It would be different if you'd gone out on a date, but the first time you approach her that isn't the case.

 

I would love to give men help in finding women that suit them so that men can stop approaching the wrong women and find themselves getting rejected so often. However, I think thats more appropriate to do for a friend rather than someone I am rejecting personally.

Attraction is simple, but its not so simple that it can be explained. When I'm approached by a guy and I'm not feeing it, I can't even sum up the lack of attraction in words. Its either there or its not.

I can explain why I like a guy, but unless a guy is obviously a total dick its a little harder to explain why I don't like a guy.

When you guys approach a woman, can you explain concisely what makes you approach one woman and reject the notion of approaching the woman sitting beside her? Attraction is instantaneous and it can't really be explained.

lol thanks....I'm having fun with this thread.

If women reject 9 out of 10 men that talk to them, then men are more than likely going to be rejected 9 out of 10 times they approach a woman. It happens; therefore guys should simply learn to shrug it off. Dust ya shoulders off

 

I don't think it's our "responsibility" to instruct every individual that hits on us, male or female, of the reason behind our choice to reject the advance. However, I do feel as if I could do so, being fairly aware of the reasons behind my initial attraction. I'm aware of my feelings, and how to articulate them, and I think people need to know what they have going for them, as far as others are concerned.

Sometimes it's the voice, the eyes, the lips, the hair,,it's rarely all things. I also have personal idiosyncracies for certain body parts, like, for instance, the feet. If a woman has feet that look "overworked", or toes that aren't shaped in such-and-such a way (I'm not a big fan of "bulbous toes"), or maybe the length of the toe (too long, or too short), I'm gone. I'm pretty particular in what I like, in whomever I'm attracted to.

But if I had the freedom to do so, without offending someone, I'd give each and every woman a genuine and honest reaction, to why I don't, or do like them. I do that by nature. I have a habit of telling people when I like something about them. Even strangers. To some, it might seem "overly forward", but that's just me. I figure there's a good chance I'll probably never see this person again, so as they say, "strike while the iron is hot". Life is too short not to be free to express your appreciation for something, or for someone.

People walk around all constricted, like they're "not allowed" to be too personal. I don't care. It's not like I'll say "Nice ass", in public, spontaneously, (unless I know the person and am toying with them), but I'll surely tell a woman if there's something extraordinary about them. I'm not even "hitting on them", since I'm married already, but I just like people to know what they have going for them, even if they might already be aware. You never know if anyone has ever said something nice to a particular individual.

It would probably be perceived, however, as overly forward, or odd, for a woman to say something to a man, in the same context. There are too many social stigmas on that kind of behavior, since it seems to imply that the woman is just "loose" with her talk. I wish it weren't so, but it is, in your everyday situations. Maybe bar action is different, but I don't go to bars to mingle. I go to play in the band. I do get a lot of women approaching me to tell me that they like my music, however. So far, I've just said "thanks" and left it at that.

 

From what I know about being a guy, most guys can identify why they are attracted to a particular girl, because the initial attraction is visual. But in some cases I know where a guy may find a girl attractive because of social interaction over time, in these cases I think women know this to be the 'male friend that suddenly became clingy' or 'the male friend that I thought was just a friend but he's suddenly changed his tune'.

My observations on these situations is that when a guy is strongly attracted to a girl emotionally and physically, it makes it that much harder to, as you put it, brush off.

 

In my case it's rarely visual, given that I've got used to the fact that visually attractive girls are self-entitled bitches about 90% of the time. So for attraction recently I discovered I need audial or tactile contact, then I can properly assess whether or not something is there.

 

I need to smell my finger to know if it's real.

 

You have a point, but in my case I describe these situations where you are visually attracted, but a counter-anti-attraction is built up because you know from experience that visual attraction isn't everything in a actual relationship.

It's possible your mind has now accustomed to only feel attraction beyond just visual now because the initial attraction and the counter-attraction happen so fast.

But what you say is true, there are many really attractive girls that are extremely self-entitled and in my view don't carry their own weight in the relationship should one start.

 

I think the bottom line is that if women slept with every guy that approached us, our vagines would have to be bottomless pits. So stop stressin' when you get rejected. It happens. Some women play games. Stop going after those women. Chill, dudes.

Plus, lets be honest. That hard-to-get game playing shit works. Everytime. Like a charm. I'm too old for that shit now, and in a relationshiop to boot (which happened naturally with no games and no pretenses on either side, might I add), but when I was in my early twenties I noticed that if I showed obvious interest in a man he went running the other way. If I played hard to get, wore my cards close to my chest, didn't pursue him, acted like I could really care less about him because my life without him was so awesome, he invariably fell in love with me in a matter of weeks.

So its all men's fault anyways You guys eat that shit up like candy and you know it.

Men's fault...is that grammatically correct? that sounds so weird.

 

Sure this is true, but the problem is in my opinion, if girls encounter enough situations where the "hard to get game" works, after a while they tend to overgeneralize and always do the "hard to get game" and because of that some very good guys don't end up pursuing them either because they're turned off by it.

But the girls wouldn't be aware of a guy who sense the game and then didn't pursue them.

 

Sounds weird to me too. Hmm,,

"Women's fault,," Yeah,,that sounds better.

 

i like this

it's true, men can't (for the most part) play 'the game' as well as women, BECAUSE of the fact that our society has put the role of introduction/ice breaking on men - therefor men are the ones to chase.

some men (myself included...okay i'm a guy not a 'man') have chosen to not play these sorts of games or have avoided dating scenes altogether because of the drama, misunderstandings and overwhelming added extra bullshit that doesn't take place in normal friendships is too much to deal with (i'm saying aside from the differences between a normal relationship and friendship, the ones who play games have retarded shit added)

it's funny, too, because we are always told that males hide their emotions blah blah blah - but through this thread's progression it is fairly obvious that male intent/emotions are pretty clear and apparent at hand, and it is actually the female that is allusive, evasive and manipulative with HIS and HER own emotions. but yet females are the ones that are 'in tune' and more 'aware' of emotions.


i kind of think that general overstatement should be reevaluated based on today's culture norms. i hypothesize that men, while they may not be able to verbalize and articulate (generally) their emotions as well as women - they ARE able to KNOW what they feel more times than not (lust, love, dislike, apathy, interest, happy, sad, frustrated etc etc)

 

So now men are going after the wrong type of women and that is why we run into the game? That's an interesting way of looking at our particular gripe with females. As far as the things we say being a sweeping generalization of women, let me make another sweeping generalization of a group. Young black Americans typically listen to hip hop or rap of some kind, more than they do all other music genres. Are there exceptions to this? sure but they are not the rule.

Listen we are not as stupid as you make us out to be. We easily recognize "that type" of girl when we spend a short amount of time around them. Here is another fun fact, they can spot men that have them figured out just as fast. This isn't simply about rejection either. It's not about our bruised egos and how fragile we are. We are fed up with the shallow materialistic nature of modern women. How can something so beautiful be so fucking empty.

All women have the switch within them to become this "type" of female, one that will lie, sneak and manipulate. Ever notice how when a female has made up her mind she is done with her current man, she does not execute her exit strategy until she has another man lined up? She will keep her secret that she has any interest in leaving her man until she has detached herself emotionally and has a new dude to run to. The guy getting dumped will not know what hit him.

Even the nice girl can and often does exhibit the crazy nature that men are tired of. Women belong to the club called womanhood. When women get caught cheating or doing something unbecoming of women, it reflects on womanhood. It is why females will quickly defend womanhood or a woman they've never met when men make these accusations and take it personally when they hear us doing so, even if we are not talking about them as an individual.

Men have been berated for decades for being pigs that don't listen to a woman's feelings. Oprah and Cosmo have been all over that forever and men have taken it with a grain of salt. Accused of being pigs that only think about sex and are incapable of listening to a woman and paying attention to her feelings...we have taken that with a grain of salt for a long fuckin time.

When in actuality, a womens feelings change every ten seconds, so we ride it out. We prefer not to get emotionally worked up everytime a woman is. We are logical and even though we are not always right we operate with logic and reason as best we can.

This is where the problem is. Women can use logic when it suits them but they discard it the moment it does not and trade it in for whatever it is she needs to justify her current behavior.

Genteman, if you choose to share the responsibility of why women are the way they are, then go for it. I will not. I have seen too much and been through more. I know without even knowing any of you that you have too.

Where are these women of substance? Why are they so far and few between? Why are we all having the same fucking problems with them?

 

You both seem to be talking about random encounters with potential hookups only.
That is not how most men court women.

 

Clearly you have your mind made up that all women are shallow pieces of crap (despite the little part you threw in about the "exceptions," which was probably just put there to make your argument sound more legitimate). Since you hate women and their games so much, why don't you try dating a man? They don't play any of those games, right?

I think this is a people problem, not a woman problem. You get bad people and good people in both genders.

 

That was a nice try. You even tried to psychoanalyze why I wrote what I did. I loved that part especially. I won't bother pointing out the words that you've put in my mouth in your "little" attempt to make your arguement sound legitimate, haha:devil:.

To answer your juvenile question though, I won't try dating a man because I'm not gay. Not a gay bone in my body, ask my girlfriend she'll tell you. Additionally I stated in an earlier post in this very thread that "I love women". You may have skipped that, it's okay because your agenda is either A)to kiss female ass and be their hero or B)you are a female and there ya have it, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

Perhaps it is a "people problem". My true motivation for posting in this thread though, was to not allow the ladies to get off so easily with what they were posting here. The fellas were being too diplomatic and understanding for my liking as well. Good and bad on both sides does not mean that the statements I've made about women are untrue.

I just wanna see some admission that this shit is going on and no, it's not just a very small portion of women behaving like this, nor is it just the slutty ones or the ones showing their ass at the club. We can stop pretending chicks are made of sugar and spice and everything nice and that men just don't get them. That's a load of shit.

 

Things are never so conveniently evened out. We live at a time when women seem to feel particularly entitled: they feel they have rights to the benefits of equality without bearing the same responsibilities as men:

a) they feel they should earn just as much, but they don`t feel the need to work as many hours or perform the same jobs;

b)they feel they shouldn`t be treated as objects, and yet want the attention of sexual objects;

c)they feel they are miles away from prostitutes, and yet won`t date men who don`t cough it up or make more;

d)they say No means No, and yet constantly lead men on for kicks, and absolutely refuse to communicate clear-cut decisions concerning sex and their feelings toward men, thinking it a "men`s job."

That, added to the fact that they are constantly, uninterruptedly self-congratulating each other about how much more "mature", "responsible", "ethical", and "intuitive" than men they are; not to mention better "multi-taskers." And, that all of their insecurities about being out of shape stem from men, when in fact it stems from female vs. female competition. Or, finally, that men are "cheaters" and "pigs", as though it were mathematically possible in heterosexual relations for men to have more partners than women.

Entire industries of pop scientoid articles in Cosmopolitan magazines, and female and male hosted (but female target audience driven) talk shows perpetuate the above, with scant to no scientific evidence.

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Like I said, we live in a peculiar moment in human history in which, except for certain highly developed places like Northern Europe, women are simply more douchey and hypocritical than men. Why? Because political correctness, and the doormats who pat women on the back to death as a getting-laid strategy, let women get away with anything. Not because they are gentlemen, or nice to women, but because, in fact, they think of women as inferior, and cloak their condescension as "knowing how to treat a lady."

And, N.A.W.A.L.T. (Not All Women Are Like That) arguments, don`t change the fact that most women are like that. I would also think that it behooves women who truly "aren`t like that" (and, most women who claim not to be "like that", are) to distance themselves from gender loyalty altogether, and simply own up to the fact that they`re shining diamonds in a rough.

You`ll also find that a lot of the guys who are pissed off at women are the same ones who are most adamant about women`s equality and would truly enjoy mutual, fair, relationships with them, but are unable to meet women in their league who will tango. And, they aren`t acknowledged as such because mutual and fair, in the little itty-bitty brains floating around in the world today, means marriage, unquestioned monogamy, and being guilt-tripped about their sexuality and sexual desires.

And, the fact that women are so reticent about being fully equal, makes me think that gender equality is just an idealistic, evolutionarily moronic, folly, not unlike Communism. And, that actually means, if we are brave enough to speak our minds without mincing words, that men should be women`s superiors.

I will gladly accept not putting the above into words, so long as it is understood in actions.

I have been. And, thus far, it`s confirmed the fact that men are on average less manipulative, gold-digging, and attention-whoring than women. And, the women who aren`t, are almost 100% of the time bisexual.

No, I will not stick to men only.

 

You know it's interesting you say that, because I know some straight girls who have told me they prefer hanging out with guys just because they're more straight forward and have a lot less passive-aggressive drama associated with maintaining a friendship, compared to their female friends.

But I also want to add that I don't think monogamy is bad, it's purely a personal preference, which I think is fine, but all this shaming people for this belief or that belief without logical recourse really bugs me. So this is where we differ Cherea, but I agree with about 80% of the post above.

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But I also want to add in regards to females earning equal pay for equal work, can be a good thing especially if it's the wife or female that is the breadwinner of the family. Hypothetically speaking, if I was married but had to play the stay at home dad, I'd want my wife the same chances to bring home the same amount of money I'd be making to support the family if I were the breadwinner.

How that money is spent once earned is another issue within the marriage however.

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Once more thing, I also want to add that it seems that this sense of entitlement among youth today is not just a gender issue, I'm seeing it among guys too but it manifests itself in a different way. Perhaps the Great Recession will wake some youth up to the fact that having the latest gaget isn't as important to stay relevant in society and that sometimes you gotta bite your lip when your boss at work is being totally unreasonable because new jobs aren't just gonna fall in your lap. Or that showing up to work on time is important for your own personal integrity and that although your skilled, you aren't immune to being let-go.

I don't know I think this sense of entitlement originates from the general message from society in general and that it crosses both genders in different ways which may or may not be part of the romantic/sexual/dating scene.

 

Dude, you agree with 80% of what I say and devote 6 paragraphs to making it PC and palatable and centrist? Your post is part of the reason why women are self-entitled. It`s the kind of holding your punches that Bill Maher calls "making women nod."

There`s a point when you make it so general, minced, and toothless that it`s hard to even understand what you`re saying (see above).

If monogamy is indeed a preference, then I suppose men shouldn`t be guilt-tripped for wanting to be with many women? But, oh wait, men are shamed for wanting any woman.

If you have sexual desires, you`re liable to be picked up by the man police. If you look at cleavage as deep as a swimming pool, you`re a pig, etc.

It`s like, this is the only argument women ever have against men. Men have sexual desires, men have sexual desires. And, those sexual desires do not conform to my Cinderella handbook. Gosh, they don`t even bother to hide them. Gosh, why can`t they be more subtle. As if the way you dress to bring attention to precisely your naughty bits were subtle! lol. As if men who were subtle had any chance of picking up any chick who wasn`t boring in the sack, and going through her bridezilla-alimony retirement plan, biological clock weezing like it`s 5:30am and you have to drag yourself to work yet again.

Well, I`m sorry. But, that`s no argument at all. Here`s news for you. Wanting to have a diverse sexual experience and not hiding that fact does not make me a jerk.

And, anyway, if you want to be fussy about how men go about approaching you, then do it yourself. Otherwise, I guess you`ll just have to suck it up.

Which is probably better, anyway. I can`t imagine how floundering and stuttering women would be if they exposed themselves even half of the way men do when we approach, despite the fact that it`s much safer for them.

 

I agree women give men too hard a time for wandering eyes. But wandering eyes are different from an outright continuous stare, which is what I think many women really object to, women do like to be noticed by guys so you can't say they always dislike them. Also a lot of the "players" are not 'prince charming' because they are not always so proper or nice.

And you are right, men wanting a diverse sexual experience being fine and something that men should not be shamed for by women. Men should just be honest about it and not deceive a girl to get in her pants.

But I should point out that, females of many difference species on this planet, are choosey, that's just how nature made it unfortunately. Life-long monogamy is the only artificial thing man has, but given the fact that 48% end in divorce anyway and in their youth both sexes play the field. I'd say that monogamy really doesn't exist life-long, except in the rare case of the "childhood sweetheart couples who were together exclusively for their entire lives".

 

Fair enough, buddy. :biggrin: