Questions for mothers/fathers/guardians, ect

I’m 63 and coming to the conclusion dad’s “sex talk” ain’t coming. I learned from a buddy how to masturbate to ejaculation. Spent a 6 week vacation with him mastering the art and it’s many various approaches.

with my son (and daughter) We just let them know it was perfectly normal and something you enjoyed in the privacy of your room.

 

I don't have kids. But I'm in my 40s, so most of my friends and an increasing number of the women I date do. There is definitely a sea change with millennials being far more open with their children about masturbation. Letting them do it around the house within reason and fielding any questions about it quite casually. Compared to my Gen X friends who have a classic one-and-done "talk" with their kids about it basically saying it's fine to do it. Most people do it. Nothing to be ashamed of. But keep it private and absolutely do not do it in front of anyone who doesn't give you explicit consent. After that, I think it's largely support through silence.

I was always allowed to masturbate as much as I wanted around the house and my parents never minded me doing it in front of them. We'd always been openly nude around each other. I also started having constant wet dreams as soon as I started masturbating. Like almost every single night. My mom was almost always the one to get up in the middle of the night when I had them and helped me change my sheets. So, the unspoken attitude was basically, "If we're seeing you naked and cleaning up your semen, what does seeing you masturbate matter?" Also, they masturbate quite often as well. Still to this day.

I don't feel like any boundaries were ever crossed. I don't feel it affected me negatively. Or warped my concept of what is a healthy sexual outlook. I've never had an issue masturbating in front of or with others. But I also have never done it with anyone who didn't make it clear they were OK with it. I just don't see masturbation as an inherently sexual act. I think it's pliant and defines itself based on the person's intent and the circumstance. When I do it with a sexual partner, it's absolutely sex. When I do it with a friend, it's just two people being free to enjoy something we both know the other does anyway and sharing a lovely way to enjoy one's self. It is what you make it to be. That's what I think that openness with my parents taught me.

 

The other key part of how my parents handled it (particularly my mother) was that in my teens and 20s it was very much a one-way street. I could masturbate right in front of my mother and father but they did not masturbate in front of me or see them masturbate. It was framed as "we're letting you do this because you're at an age where it's a very nagging need and we understand that but this isn't a family free-for-all."

But when I was in my early 30s, I lived with them for a couple years and started to see them masturbate. My dad didn't give a shit but my mom was cagey about it at first. Eventually, she agreed it was silly to carry on the pretense that I didn't know what she was doing and when she was doing it. Also, that with me in my middle-age and them in their late-70s, there was no need to feel awkward about it.

Ever since we've been very open about it. She and I talk about masturbation and sex from time to time. And we've even talked about what it was like for both of us for me to do it in front of her when I was younger. I've told her it was a true blessing because I was desperate for a safe space to talk about masturbating and my wet dreams and sexual things I was feeling, or intimate curiosities I had about male and female anatomy. She appreciates that.

In fact, since she relaxed her feelings on the "one-way street" rule, I've been able to teach her a lot and answer a lot of her curiosities. I even taught her how to use a vibrator. Few people will ever let themselves know the beauty and affirmation of teaching an elderly parent how to experience their own body in ways they'd never considered. I really can't think of one single reason why any aspect of how masturbation was handled in my family is bad, aside from the inherent risk involved in other's finding out about it due to the likely severity of their resulting judgements, or more pointedly, their indictments.

 

The world needs more progressive, open minded parents like you! When I was growing up masturbation was frowned upon and generally forbidden for societal and religious reasons. Needless to say it never stopped me or most other children from doing it. It would have been nice to have a parent or parents that were open and informative about masturbation. Instead of the type of parents the forbid, discouraged and even punished for it. In this day and age with all the scientific and medical information that is out there about a subject that is completely normal, natural and enjoyable there is no reason why parents should fill their kids' heads with myths, lies and fairy tales about masturbation!!!

 

my son knows it’s ok to masturbate in the privacy of his room, I do it in the privacy of my room..