Raised By Single Mothers

i'm not talking about everyone being unique or not. that's a whole different conversation. i'm talking about how an environmental influence on personal characteristics should be approached and dealt with. instead of just stating 'this is how it is'. a claim without scientific proof is nonsense.
and i agree with you. we are not unique. i am not unique. i'm pretty predictable and unoriginal. guys like me have existed for ages. but that in itself does not translate into 'environment causes personal characteristics'. my opinion on this stems from personal experience. and from my life experience of 29 years i hold the opinion that we are born with our sexual orientation and personalities. if you want to disprove that, please conduct a scientific study on the subject, and if you provide adequate results i might adjust my point of view.

i agree. and i'm not completely discrediting the influence of the environment. it does make a difference. i have experiences from my own childhood and youth that i cherish as important milestones in my life. however, the things that are very distinct in nature, like sexuality, those i have not experienced as something influenced by the environment. rather it's more like instincts, something beyond your control. something you can't explain why it is. something that stems from so deep inside that it's impossible to separate it from who you are no more than it is possible to separate the flesh from your body. something innate. a thing that has been with you your whole life for as long as you can remember. and that is the case with sexuality. and until i see an adequate scientific study disproving this i will trust first hand experience rather than third person point of view.

 

And there it is. You're starting off basing it on the old chestnut only girly guys butch girls are gay. Which is the kind of thing that does my head in. Not having a go at you, most straight people do it, regardless of how many times those that dont fit those stereotypes are right in front of their face.

I grew up with both parents, nothing unusual about my mother, monotonously average really, and my father the usual dumb as fuck neanderthal most of them are, but nothing out of the ordinary there either. Both painfully average living in yawnsville Suburbia. The importance and emphasis of the parents is just something parents want to believe to be true.

Parents are only two people, rest of your family is only a handful you never really see. Whereas everyone else is EVERYONE else. Whether it was primary (grade) school, high school, University, 30s or now 40s - as far as everyone else goes, its always been the same kind of thing, one stupid act in front of their family, friends or especially the significant other, then a completely different set of rules when they think no one is watching

And all through out most of the problems coming from the chics, a whole bunch of stuff you are never going to admit to, trying to spend your time convincing everyone else you arent all batshit crazy.

So even if some scientist does end up working it all out, it wont matter, you'll still all stay buried under a mountain of denial

A very poetic and apt metaphor

 

I understand this. I never said that all gay men were effeminate. I know not to stereotype! i guess my questions do pertain to the effeminate males, but in no way would I ever say in an entire group of people everyone is the same.

 

exactly right.

when i was growing up i had plenty of guys i admired/respected, but my family didn't play an important role in that department at all (with the exception of my uncle who i didn't see much anyway). there were some local kids i had respect for. and then there were historical figures. but even then, i didn't grow up wanting to be any of those guys. it was rather they all had something i could relate to. i identified with their experience, values, behavior. i didn't emulate it. i never had a role model by definition. i never wanted to be anybody but myself and i always knew who i was too. the guys that i 'admired', so to say, i did that because we had something already in common, not because i looked to them on how to model my behavior. i've always been very conscious of this difference.


thanks for the compliment.

 

Sorry, forgot to read between the lines. What is peaking your interest. 24, pondering parenthood?

Even with the type you are talking about, still comes down to what you call effeminate


You can be a petite total girly girl and yet still risk spinal, head and other serious injuries on a daily basis to get to the Olympics, kick everyones arse and win the Individual Gymastics Gold (Gabrielle Douglas)

If by the way of a magic genie you could get most guys to have a turn at what she does for a week, most would not have the "balls" for it, or motivation or determination, many guys that would think they are tough. Effeminate isnt the same thing as weak.

And with the type you are talking about they will ham it up for the girls anyway, so if you are a girl you will only see the characture, not the real them. Like on spots you usually see them on TV, fashion or gossip reporter on the morning shows hamming it up, its entertainment value

With single mothers it hasnt been my experience considering all gay males i've met that being raised by a single mother is something that sticks out as common, usually both parents, or the father was a dick - but isnt that just the reality that too many guy make shitty fathers anyway - get agro to solve anything. Or if they end up with a raging queen of a son they freak out and dont know what to do cos they've had zero experience dealing with any until then

So if you are kind of asking, when it comes time to have kids, do I do it old school, have to put up with a douchebag husband all the time, or do I raise them myself, but if I raise them myself is my son going to end up a sissy mummys boy really into interpretive dance.....well you get that from everyone else