Ran Out Of Toilet Paper While Shitting (Please Help)

Somewhere along the way someone taught me about unrolling the empty cardboard tube and wiping with the cardboard... I don't recommend it though.

I also just remembered a story that a doctor friend of mine told me. His Amish patients don't use anything but their hand.

 

So I log in and click on "View New Content" and the first thread I see is "Ran out of toilet paper while shitting".

The next one is "How to avoid poo".

What the fuck is up with this shit?

 

Whatever you do, don't shit on the rug. The rug makes the room, dude.

 

I bet halftime in the locker room was miserable.

 

BTDT before. After that I make it a point to keep stocked up on TP. Right now I think I have enough for a year and a half. Sounds crazy, but WTSHTF TP is worth it's weight in gold. It's so common tyhat people don't keep it stocked up.

 

It really brings the room together

 

wut.

 

when the shit hits the fan. tp..

 

We all been there, lol.....

#1- If your the only one home ya can hold ur cheeks apart n walk around till ya find the roll.

#2- are ya wearing socks?

They work well, you can really get in there good , just put ur hand in the sock and wipe away.

+ side (no pokeing ur finger through the paper, and getting shit on finger)

#3- Just get in the shower, let the water do the wipeing. ..... hope it works out for ya.

 

nope never been there. had children, and worse running dog shit ..... any man that cant wash his hands with soap, needs to go take a vacation with howie mandel.

 

No TP? Got a dog?

 

Lightning can indeed strike twice...

 

Pro tip:

The last thing you take off before a shower is your socks. Always leave a pair next to the bathroom door in case of an emergency.

 

I'm still wondering how you ruin a shower by washing your bum. Did you drank battery acid or something?

 

Got a spoon?