Random Facts XXVI - The Christmas Edition

Its slowly warming up 21f now and I think I see the sun...

 

wow the weather cnannel in bathurst australia[glen] is way more comprehensive than ours ;;

i tried to post it and look what happened

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_dBwJDUlS4"]YouTube - Here Comes The Sun - George Harrison

 

If you liked that one, I have another one.

When I was in high school I met this girl who I fell in love with. We dated for two years and had a fantastic relationship. I could never go over to her house though because she was of another culture and was 'banned' by her father from dating men outside her own ethnicity. As a matter of fact, her father had long ago arranged a marriage for her back home. She despised him for this and we continued to date, sometimes it almost felt like she was dating me in spite of her controling father.

After two years we had a slight falling out, and due to her controlling father I was completely unable to contact her. She took this as a sign that I was finished with her, which I wasn't, as I loved her very much. After 5 weeks of absolutely no communication between us, the new school year began. She obviously wouldn't talk to me and after a short time I met this girl who was younger, and very attracted to me. As it turned out she was the next door neighbour of my exgirlfriend, who was pretty unhappy about it. One day this girl and I were up in the spare bedroom of her house fooling around. The bed we were on was raised and as I looked out the window I saw my exgirlfriend and her friend staring up at us from her back yard. This royally pissed her off. The girl I was with turned out to be very promiscuous and we parted after 3 weeks.

Years later I moved into the city and into an apartment with a friend. After living there for almost a year I found out from my friend that my exgirlfriend had moved in. I didn't care really, was more concerned about the fact that I'd probably run into her and I didn't really have anything to say. One day I did run into her. We talked for awhile and actually hit it off sort of, she moved out to be away from her father. I could tell though she was still pretty hurt by what had happened as she always felt that it was my fault we stopped talking. She told me that she lived on the 7th floor with her boyfriend, I lived on the 6th. She told me her apt. number and it turned out to be one floor up and one apartment over.

As I didn't have a tv or internet at the time, my roommate and I used to pass most of our time sitting on the balcony, drinking beer, playing poker, smoking weed. We sat out there every night. I guess my ex had noticed that we were out there a lot, sound didn't have far to travel. I don't know if it was out of spite or thrill, but she got into the habit of having sex with her boyfriend out on the balcony in the evening and although it didn't bother me a whole lot, I couldn't help but be annoyed by it. All to frequently that became the background noise while my friend and I played cards until one day I bought a cheap radio from Canadian Tire.

After three months of this I couldn't stand it anymore, so I decided to be conniving. It was around her birthday, so I decided to buy her a really nice birthday card and write a friendly message in it. A couple weeks later she came to my apartment crying, asking if she could use the phone. I said sure and asked if she was alright. She said that she was fine and she thanked me for the, "really nice card." By the next weekend she and her boyfriend had broken up and moved out.

By that time though it was already winter so my friend and I weren't using the balcony anymore, it was too cold. We just played cards inside.

 

I found a little local news page about Bathurst:

http://www.bathurst-nsw.com/NewsTVWeath.html

There's something in there about rivers peaking, but nothing at all about flood damages. Kinda sketchy site, tho.

 

See, you're good with the dry, ironic, almost non-sequiter endings. A story about a fucked-up romance is the theme, and you end it with a statement about where you ended up playing cards. It's a metaphor for your overall feelings about the relationship, and how the relationship turned out.

Interesting story, too. Stories in our lives are determined by our personalities, and colored by our personalities in the style of the telling.

A lot of fucked-up stuff I've experienced seemed "bad" and intolerable when I was living through it - yet now, looking back, I realize that the fucked-up parts of my life make the best stories.

 

Okay okay, I will give in to all the clamoring for my beans poem. And here it is:

I've got gobs of indelicate stories to tell
about bean-eating folks and their flatulent smell.
But the rudest and vulgarest tale that I know
concerns passing of gases at forty below.

During Eskimo winters, it's beans that they eat,
and their farts come out frozen, and stack up real neat.
But when summertime comes, and those farts all thaw out -
well, but you're on the scent of what that's all about.

Refrain:

Beans! Beans! Let's eat some more beans!
Life is a crockpot! Let's eat some more beans!
------------------------------------------------
Of course a masterpiece like this requires a copyright:
Copyright (c) 2010 by Richard Bryant Reinertson - all rights reserved

 

This is true. Suffering and unhappiness creates some of the best material for stories, poems, songs, etc. It tends to make for more memorable, lasting impressions than the alternative.

 

Ha, I liked it.

 

Just shows what low-brow taste you have.

 

i just put some gas antifreeze i9n my atv and let it run for a bit before i took it out on my street and did some donuts..it was awfully cold

 

I bet this would make nice snow suit..

 

That's what I wear all winter. It's a bitch getting a seat on the commuter train with that on.

 

what happens when you fart,>?.

 

lol.. Cosby show is on and his wife said looks like hes going on a space walk..

 

There's a hose up my butt that feeds through a pump that compresses the gas into a tank that I can later hook up to our house's gas line for cooking. But damn I hate cleaning the filter on that thing...

 

I've used that line a lot - about having to wear a spacesuit to go outside in the winter. And to think it's good enough for primetime - hey...I'll bet those stinkin Hollywood writers stole that from me...

 

i should point out that the only reason i was cold is because i didnt wear a coat hat or mitts...i am canadian

 

It's good that you have an explanation, because we were all silently questioning your manhood.

However I need to broach a question left hanging by your explanation...and I'll try to put this as delicately as I can: If you're Canadian - then why were you cold?

Hmmm, that was actually fairly blunt, wasn't it...

 

Who knows? This Canadian is red hot