re: feminism

REALLY?!! you're not shitting us? because that's just freaking BIZARRE.

 

I wish I WAS kidding.

 

i have never heard of such a thing.

 

yeah, but it happens.

kinda like with everything, there are people that'll carry it to an extreme and make everyone else look bad.

I've known females who, if you open the door for them, they will stand there, tell you to 'close the damn door' then put down what they're carrying, reach over, open the door themselves, struggle with juggling their packages, glaumph their way through the door, and then, with an armload of portage, give you a complete tonguelashing about how 'the opening of doors is a symbol of the patriarchal oppression, by keeping women 'too weak' to take care of themselves.' The look, however, is priceless, when a guy comes up with his hands full while she's doing this...I reach over, open the door for him, and he's like 'hey, thanks, man' and goes on. turning back to her with a 'please continue' really pisses them off.

 

haha. that's so dumb! my bf holds the door open for me all the time, and im not offended! i think it's sweet. sometimes women take what is pride for our gender, to "LETS HATE ALL MEN BECAUSE THEIR ALL BAD"-which is completely rediculous because not all men are bad or sexist or whatever the hard core feminists think that they are. i believe that yes, there is still a number of men who see women as insibordinant(did i spell that right?)-and that's not true at all. nor are all men dogs! it's all really quite stupid.

 

I agree..jerks on both sides of the issue, which as it boils down to is 'everybody's a person, capable of the same work, gets the same pay, the same food, the same voting rights, the same expectations across the board.'

I've made an arse of myself a time or two as well.

Like I was on a bus in DFW (major metromess moderately close by) and I was sitting down after working a full day in the summer heat...a woman got on the bus, walked straight up to me and stood there...after a second she cleared her throat (I could tell she EXPECTED me to give up my seat). I proceeded to ignore her. A few minutes later, at the next stop a pregnant woman got on, and proceeded to take a strap. I stood up, tapped her shoulder, and offered her my seat...which she took. The first woman got red in the face and said 'A gentleman would have given up his seat so I wouldn't have to stand.' 'Ma'am, a lady wouldn't expect it.' 'Where in the hell do you get off, jerk?' 'Ma'am, are you a liberated woman?' 'damn right' 'do you vote?' 'absolutely' 'do you make a fair wage?' 'I better!' 'do you want equal treatment as far as your rights?' 'you're damn right I do!' 'Then shut up and stand up for your rights'

I was amused when people applauded on the bus, and she got off in a huff at the next stop.

 

man, my husband is such an oilfield cowboy that he offends the hard core feminists just by walking into a room. but NEVER, in all his life of opening doors for ladies has he EVER been berated for it. where the hell are you living? because that's just INSANE! especially the rant about it being a symbol of patriarchy or whatnot.

 

that sounds like a scene from a movie. i'd have loved to see it.

 

the bizarre behavior is undoubtedly caused by people experiencing some kind of trauma. it's not at all normal among feminists or anyone else. by the way, if anyone punches you, THAT is illegal.

 

Yeah, I know. The man that'd passed through the door at about the same time 'ms punchy' did was the president of the company, and the behavior got her fired.

MamaKcita- I live in a small conservative town in north texas. Ever heard of a place called gainesville?

LOTF, I wholeheartedly agree that that kind of behavior is abnormal

 

i thought all of north texas is conservative. i can't imagine a lot of psycho feminists migrating there.

 

You'd be surprised...just like freaks geeks and weirdos are everywhere, the militant angry people are everywhere too.

Of course, I just seem to attract trouble. Ironic that I really just want to be 'left alone' to do my own thing and live my little life in peace, and instead, I am flypaper for freaks...(and not the fun kind...like the really psycho messed up kind)

 

Yeah, shit like that makes me really fucking angry. I'm pretty sure they had a meeting and were like "OK, so either we decide that opening doors for people is patriarchal, or we have to start opening doors for guys..."

I've tried to talk about this before but generally been greeted less with misunderstanding of the point and more with a fervent insistence that the point isn't there to be made: both genders have perks and burdens which do not apply to the other gender. In establishing equality, one must decide whether we share the burdens and try to iron out the perks, or share the perks and try to iron out the burdens.

So in this case, the issue is over whether guys should still open doors for women, and in establishing equality, we have a choice: do we say that everyone opens doors for everyone, or that no-one opens doors for anyone? To me, the latter maintains the connotation that it is still a gendered issue whether one opens a door for someone else or not, while the former "disgenders" it by effectively saying "open doors for people if they look like they need help".

It sounds obvious to me, but it's amazing how many people don't get it. It's less black and white with more negative issues like promiscuity, crime or alcohol consumption - to rectify the "if a man sleeps around he's a stud, if a girl sleeps around she's a slut" inequity, do we a) encourage men to be more ashamed of sleeping around, or b) encourage women to be less ashamed of sleeping around?

I'm wondering if I'm just stupid in not seeing the broader confusion, tbh.

 

it always seemed such a practical thing to me. you get to the door first, hold it open so it doesn't smack someone in the face. especially if their hands are full. male or female. if someone has a bug up their ass, ignore them. and if they hit you, press charges. it's just polite to open doors for people.

 

Well quite. That's why I feel that, given the choice, you should do it rather than not. Refusing to let a man (I assume this applied to only men; maybe I'm wrong, and a good feminist would never let a woman open the door for her either, in case she was a man in disguise...) open a door for you when it's much more difficult for you to do it yourself just maintains the act of door-opening as gendered, since it would only be acceptable for a woman to open the door for another woman and for a man to open the door for another man.

 

I'm of the mind that if they've got their hands full, or opening the door would be difficult for them (foul weather, darkness, armload of packages, ect) then it's simply a case of 'help a person out' and not a sexist thing at all. I open doors, girls, guys, even my cats use me as a doorman.

 

Yeah I couldnt really vote properly so i used indifferent. Feminism has it's place. nothing wrong at all with a woman making her lot in life better. Now if it comes at my expense and ridicule we have a problem.
bitchy can sometimes be misconstrued by the bitch as feminism when in reality she is just a bitch.
now dont get too excited... same goes for us fellas.
I say go about your business be you and dont be a prick whether male or female.

 

This makes me think we should start a what would you do scenario thread. We could all think up worst case scenarios and such.

 

Well personally I feel the same, that it has its good and bad effects. But on balance, I think it's worth it. I'm very wary of those "It's gone too far" angles, because... well, has it?

 

it's possible that things go too far in some ways, and not far enough in others, though.