Real reasons behind the "Fatherhood Crises"...

According to statistics accepted by our government and implemented into a government mandated ciriculum for all high school freshmen in atleast the state of New Mexico 25% of all husbands are abusers.

 

40% of cops beat their wives.

 

I am really really hoping that you were just sharing statistics and not doubting this number. And also know that the REPORTED stats are ALWAYS lower than the actual incidences of actual abuse.

This is my LAST comment on this issue. I need to save my own strength and arguing with mistruths about Domestic Abuse is more than I am up to at this time. I am hoping most of the men and womyn on this site realize that ANY abuse is unacceptable and will not try to minimze it. Are men abused? Yes, of course, and the same characteristics, tactics of abusers (especially the "I'll kill myself if you leave" a very common tactic of abusive womyn,) and Rights for Abused Men should go for them, as well. Domestic Abuse against womyn IS more common, but that does not minimize the horrors and damage that Abuse against men cause, either.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Chill, baby, chill. It' ain't you......

 

I wouldn't bring it up if I thought it was false. Most domestic violence isn't reported, so its safe to say that your chances of getting into a violent abusive realtionship is really high.

It makes me angry, so angry at how awful society is.

 

so shane.... i am in a marriage that was very bad for a while... im not gonna get into it- a lot of people here know about it here but im gonna throw just a PART of this into a hypothetical situation.....

cause its part of what i went through- i stayed and things are better but it was hard and i would not have blamed someone for leaving...

what if the arguing (yes, just the arguing)- gets so bad... on both sides... that the female is crying and screaming to "leave me alone asshole!" all the time and the male is calling you names and its almost constant for over three years? should you really have to stay in something like that?

i think there is a time to say... im either gonna leave or try to change this first and then leave. i tried to change it- went to counseling and stuff because i love my husband and i believe in my marriage vows and well.. im a fighter BUT...

if we would have just decided that we were better off without each other.... why is that the woman's fault?

there is too much blame on women here. way too much. im suprized at SOME of your bitterness towards women in this issue... as ihmurria said, it takes two to tango.

 

this thread is scary as hell

 

So tell me, why is a saint knocking up a crack whore in the first place? In this situation, I would have to say the saint needs to make some better choices in his life.

Also, he should go after custody. I would imagine that having kids would cramp the crack whore's style anyway.

 

Contrary to what has been posted in here, fathers do not win custody 70% of the time, if they seek it. That is a gross manipulation of the statistics. How it is manipulated is like so: the woman won primary physical custody 97% percent of the time... 2% of those decisions were contested, and when contested, the father got some type of custody agreement in their favor 70% of the time, and this does not mean that they won primary physical custody. Reanalysis of the very same data reveals this:

• Mothers get primary residential custody 93.4% of the time in divorces.
• Fathers in divorce get primary residential custody only 2.5% of the time.
• Fathers in divorce get joint physical custody only 4% of the time.
• Fathers in divorce get primary or joint physical custody less than 7% of the time.
• Where fathers actively seek custody, they receive primary residency in less than one out of three cases (29%), and joint physical residency in less than half (46%).

The lesson in this: know the methodology behind statistics.

Also, to get back on topic:

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
--U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes
--Center for Disease Control
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes
--Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools
70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes
--U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report Sept., 1988
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home
--Fulton County Georgia jail populations & Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992

 

Mothers make better parents.. but two is better than one, but when one is necessary then it should be the mother.

many men are too distant, and impersonal to able to care for children. (generalization.)

 

That generalization might be true in our society, but in an ideal situation they can both make equally good parents.

Mothers kill their children way more than fathers do.

 

I'm just not sure how blaming an entire gender for divorce is going to help men be better fathers.

My parents have been married for 36 years and my father was just not interested in our lives. The only attention we got was when we were in trouble.

My point is that there are fathers who really suck at it out there...how is being able to say "well, she divorced me...poor me...I can't be a father any more" going to help?

Outlawing divorce isn't going to stop people from leaving. All it will do is enable bitter spouses to steal money from each other, take out loans that affect the other's credit rating, etc.

What is this for? Does it make you better than all women? It's probably true, but then the men fuck their own children 'way more than' women do...

I hate all the gender crap. There are bad mothers and bad fathers....saying one is better or worse simply because of their gender isn't going to go anywhere...or help any children...

 

I agree wholeheartedly, blaming a gender is the wrong thing to do. I also disagree with people staying married just for the sake of honoring a vow, especially when kids are involved. It doesn't take outright physical abuse to skew a child's mind. All that kid has to see is how the parents treat each other to be effected. If the relationship is healthy, the child learns what a healthy relationship is. If the relationship isn't healthy, the child is going to carry those unhealthy aspects into their future relationships.

There's no doubt that a divorce effects any child involved. The statistics I used above demonstrate well, something... haha... Whether it's an absence of the father, or the child being stuck with a bad parent, or a good parent getting no support from an ex, or any combination of those or other things is up for debate. All of it needs to be fixed. I don't think it's necessarily by outlawing any specific kind of divorce either... just a revamping of how custody hearings work (for one, I think psychiatric evaluations should be required at the outset of every divorce with kids involved). One thing I know for a fact is that a good mom has many options available to use against a bad dad, but good dad's are just about screwed if a bad mom wants to go after them. The kids involved pay the price in the end.

If people want to know where all these new personality disorders and the rise in dysfunctional relationships are coming from; why kids are so commonly being labled bipolar, depressed, or having add, a good place to start is right there. Social conditioning may be a part of it, the media, video games, movies, and all the other things constantly blamed may be a part of it, but what a child sees their parents treating each other like is a greater factor.

 

I think we're straying some from the point of the thread.
It's not any one genders fault.
But one gender HAS been made into the scapegoat by the industry that profits from seperating families.

 

get a clue buddy, my brother has full custody of his daughter and has since she was like 5 because the mom was a drug addict. Stop watching tv.

 

Can someone summarize this thread for me this far. Being a man I am much to lazy to actually "read" this whole rant.

Then if you are lucky I will lash out with my wisdom of ages.

 

yeah. don't get married or have kids. if you do - have a stash of money outside the country and when your marriage goes belly up leave the country. simple.

 

wow listen to that guy.

when you get married and have kids it should be forever.... i know it doesnt work out that way always but to stash away money like you're expecting things to not work out is kinda sick

 

oh sorry read more into it again and basically this thread sucks cause its all about gender stereotypes and little truth even though its supposed to be about truth. what a joke.

 

Not to validate his statement but the divorce rate is somthing like 55% in the U.S. these days lol.

*shrug*

 

Ya, and maybe we should blame the male-targetted porn industry for that one...

Playboy = divorce!

heh.