Sorry to hear you relapsed. It's not the end. tommorrow's another day. Do they have methadone near you? I've not used for 5 yrs. now. Methedone gives you the chance to fix the broken peices in your life that makes you use. You may not even know what they are. I myself just found what makes me the way I am. It will take time to fix , but I'm fixiable, as we all are. I will someday be off methedone also. But until then , I just try to remember how bad.using was. Haveyou ever heard the " My best day using is worse than my worst worse day not using"? Hang in there , it gets better. Listen to Nikki sixx cd, diaries of heroin blah blah. Can't remember shit nowadays though! Ha ha Good cd though
see this is why i love this forum. you can literally feel the love in the words people type. Its nice to know others identify with your struggles and that although your situation may be different but the pain and the heart ache are the same. i love you all this and other reasons are why i feel blessed to have stumbled upon this site and clean or not i cant stay out of these forums. Not only do they help me but i aspire to help others or at least guide them when they are ready
oh and spens i read the article and i am so sorry for your loss. I hope that bitch never takes another breath as a free woman. It absolutely amazes me that drunk drivers are typically never hurt when they cause these accidents. the liquor loosens hem so they handle the impact better. Makes me sick to my stomach what happened and once again my heart goes out to u and the family of these victims.
Addicts helping addicts. only an addict would know how your feeling. again, be safeand we all will make it if you really want to.
Short story of myself, I was clean for 12 yrs. I worked for a utilty co. trimming trees around electric power lines. My helper over road the controls to the bucket I was in, to swing me from side to side. Well, he swung me to hard and it broke my lower back. Funny how one second every thing in life is perfect, the next second, your life is changed forever. It wa an accident. My dr. put me on oxycontins telling me they were less addictive than vicodan.This was 1998. After time oxy's didn't do the trick, so my old pal heroin came back. Since then , I lost my house,I raised English Mastiffs at the time. Lost them. My kids have suffered the most. Their mother ,my ex. died of an o.d. so,I know what your going through. and yes, I do see a future for myself. It will be new to me. But everyday gets better. I'm in today,tommorow might be different. I'm happy today. So hang in there. Sorry this is all smushed together.
Hey, Lori! I've been wondering how you're doing. I'm warmed by all the love and support you're getting here from everyone, that's awesome! Relapsing is actually part of recovery, especially with opiates. I had a small relapse on oxies last week, myself and with the money spent and being able to forsee how things can turn out, it made me glad I ran out of pills and don't want to do anymore. Don't kick yourself for using it, the shame will make you want to do it again and again, it's ok that you did it, but you don't have to keep doing it. Stay focused, find some supportive friends or a counsellor and work through all the horrible feelings of grief. What you're dealing with is terrible and it takes a long time to get through those feelings. Take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, or a minute at a time if you must! Much love...
