Replacement "Make an absurd accusation about the poster above" game

Went out and hired a chauffeur after his first ever golf lesson, because the professional had looked at his clubs and told him he really needed a new driver

 

puffs and farts her way onto her bed unaided-but needs assistance moving those heavy pillows-and believes 'the duvet' is a French resistance fighter

 

Thinks that Cole Porter was a man who earned a living lugging sacks of black stuff about

 

Thought 'Buddy Holly' was a type of flowering hedge

 

Thought Sheffield Wednesday was a carnival

 

Thought Shrove Tuesday was a Punk-Rock guitarist

 

invented a patent tooth fairy trap when he was 7

 

hated her neighbours as a child,so made spikes and threw them onto next-door's roof so Santa couldn't land there

 

Plays the Banjo in a Lord Rockingham's XI tribute band

 

Lives in sheer terror of her own hand puppets.

 

Try as she might,she just can NOT get the hang of using a stick

 

He happily ñoticed through his binoculars into your window, that you got the flowers he sent you. Restraining orders be DAMNED, he chuckles with glee.

 

Booked a day trip to Disneyland ... and was disappointed when they didn't dish out ANY banned substances on the coach ...

 

Brought her own banned substances and went to "Disneyland" all on her own just by closing her eyes.

 

You people are cracking me up. Thanks.

I got nothing.

Now back to our regularly scheduled thread.

 

Thinks that threads run to a schedule and can be expected to arrive on time

 

Is running a bit late for her procrastinator's meeting that she should have attended yesterday.

 

Goes to work on a pogo stick

 

Rides her camel to church on Christmas Eve so people think she is related to the child.

 

Part of her body (I'm not saying which one) inspired Tommy Sopwith to design the Pup.