Serious problem. Please help.

Discussion in 'Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, etc.' started by xstatic, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. heywood floyd

    heywood floyd Banned

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    I'm with the poker player. Don't out the guy, that would be absolutely fucking awful of you. So what if the situation hurts, that's life. You don't out people because you're mad at them... if he's abusing you, then you should call the police, but it doesn't sound like that at all. If you're that petty to wreck his life over your hurt feelings then you're the worst kind of subhuman slime, and I personally would be disgusted.

    Just drop the guy, accept that it's not going to feel all that great, and move on.
     
  2. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    Pretty Close To My Feelings Too..[​IMG]

    I Am Ashamed To Admit That Over The Years I Have Been Guilty Of Doing Just That ,To An "Ex" Or Casual Aquaintance That I Thought Had "Wronged" Me...

    I Was Young....Emotional....And Immature...

    Now When I Look Back On My Actions..

    I Feel Like A "Douchbag"..:eek:

    DON'T DO IT..



    Cheers Glen..:)
     
  3. Eroll Parat

    Eroll Parat Member

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    Well, we all have different opinions now, don't we? XD
     
  4. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    Is This Directed At Me........[​IMG]


    Cheers Glen.
     
  5. heywood floyd

    heywood floyd Banned

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    I think it's directed at everyone who doesn't agree with him.

    I know this isn't what the thread is about, but it actually disgusts me that someone would be such a childish, petty, weak fucking drama queen that they would out some guy just because he doesn't love them back. Anyone who would do something like that is flat-out selfish, and they don't deserve to be loved in the first place.

    If you have an issue with the way someone is treating you, you come at them head on-- something the OP doesn't even seem to have done yet. I'm sure if he just told the guy that this shit isn't cool, the other guy would listen... but by the sounds of it, he hasn't done that. In life, you just can't assume that someone is going to realize they're hurting you, or that they know exactly how you feel and don't care. You have to have an open channel of communication-- if you don't have that and can't get it, then you shouldn't be together. And if you're not even going to try because you're scared, then that's on you, not on him.

    I know you're young so I can understand where you're coming from, but when you grow up this kind of thing will be a lot easier to avoid, and you'll know how to read the signs better. It's easy to think it's the end of the world when you're young and not thinking about the next fifty-plus years of your life, but honestly, if you can just tell yourself that you're still young (which you are), you'll realize that this whole thing is just a learning experience, and you can use it to help you find something that is right for you.

    But unless some guy is topping you bareback and they're positive and didn't tell you, or secretly fucking random guys bareback and coming home and fucking you right after, you have no right to make huge life decisions for them out of anger. If some casual fuck did this to me just because he thought he loved me and I didn't love him back, I'd KILL him.

    Anyway, good luck.
     
  6. Eroll Parat

    Eroll Parat Member

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    I'm giving my point of view. This guy is old enough to know that what he is doing should be hurting his partner. I'm not childish, just realistic, and I've lived through it before, so I know what will happen. It's not like I'm watching from the sidelines I've actually been there before! So, I think my advice is well founded.

    You can all say have mercy, but..... I just wouldn't.
     
  7. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    MY....
     
  8. Eroll Parat

    Eroll Parat Member

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    Call me what I want, but at least I would help a friend in need instead of being afraid to say anything to avoid confrontation....
     
  9. heywood floyd

    heywood floyd Banned

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    Why doesn't he tell the guy he has to love him back and not see any girls or anyone else ever or he'll out him? That way, he can have the guy all to himself for as long as he's afraid of being outed.

    Good idea, yes?
     
  10. Eroll Parat

    Eroll Parat Member

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    It's a.... compromise..... I still wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
     
  11. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    NO.........Not A Good Idea.....:mad:.

    It's Called.....EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.....:mad:.

    Never Works..

    And Almost Always.....BLOWS UP IN YOUR FACE....:eek:

    There Has To Be A Better Solution.




    Cheers Glen.
     
  12. Hoatzin

    Hoatzin Senior Member

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    Much as I'm all about love being where you find it and so on, this guy sounds like way more hassle than you should be putting up with, and that's when he wasn't wanting to date anyone else!
     
  13. ukpokerplayer

    ukpokerplayer Member

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    eroll parat u got a twin did u say, twin brother
     
  14. YoMama

    YoMama Member

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    xstatic-

    I am very sorry that you are hurting.
    I am not gay. I have friends who are though. It kinda pisses me off to read your problem because the person has IMO used you.

    A 26 year old person has no business hanging out with a 16 year person old gay or straight male or female especially not for any kind of sexual type relationship. It may even be illegal in your state.

    I hope you can manage to pull yourself free of this individual and get on with your life. He did you wrong. If you were my kid and I found out about this I think I would report him to the police in my state you are below the age of consent...
     
  15. xstatic

    xstatic Member

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    I have talked to him about the way he treats me and he immediately gets quiet and won't really open up. He hates having talks. He hates talking about his feelings. He'll just say sorry. I realize he isn't comfortable with himself, so why would he feel comfortable opening up to another person? He isn't a "casual fuck", like I said, we've been pretty exclusive to each other and I know he has feelings for me, he's told me. He just won't say "I love you" like I'd want him to, and I'm not forcing him to. I don't expect him to. He doesn't even love himself.

    And outing him wasn't even an option in my book. I found that idea laughable. :rolleyes:

    Anywho, thanks for the support everyone. Him and I hung out Halloween night, played rockband, watched a movie, cuddled, I slept over, we fooled around.

    I'm just really trying to live in the moment and detach myself emotionally when it comes to the future between him and me. It's hard, and I do look at this as a lesson. I look at everything in life as a lesson.

    In some ways, I can see things working out 5 years from now with him. I think he might try to play straight for a while, realize it's not working and just be ok with me.

    On the other hand, things could turn out totally different and I may not even be talking to him a few months from now, which saddens me.

    Either way, I think I'll be ok. I'm trying to focus on other things, look for new people to hang out with.... Not what I want to do really, but I have to so I can keep my sanity.
     

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