Setting limits

Since I am the OP, Thanks for the input from everyone. Please keep the responses coming. This is important to both my wife and I. The place we go to is basically swinger/swapper. They have been respectful to us and we really enjoy it there. We have been approached 4 times to play. We are afraid that at some point they will quit asking and we will become excluded. We at least need to do some soft play. I believe this would be a break over point for us. I believe my wife is warming up to the idea, but we need to find the right couple. Most of the couples we are around have been in the lifestyle many years. Some of the men can easily get the wrong impression and want to fuck my wife right away and that’s not going to happen. What say you?

 

Jack, You need to explain to the couples who approach you, that this is all new. talk to them the same way you have talked here on the forum. Most couples are not pushy. Or they weren't 40 years ago. One down fall we seen is it was hard to find couples where all were compatible. As the man As long as the lady was nice, Like all men I didn't really care. So most of the time my girlfriend made the arrangements.

 

I've never been asked to join a m/f couple. I know a few m/f couples that I'd like to be with, but that was not their scene. And at my age now.....and married, it won't ever happen.

 

Jimandjan,
Thanks for your feedback, We were at the resort during the 4th of July weekend. Couples are still interested in us. But, “We” find it difficult to take it to the next step. I think we have set our standards too high. My wife is the eye candy at the pool and she doesn’t want to be viewed as “cheap” or “fresh“ meat. Whatever, we do will have to be done in a private setting and very discreet. This much I know!
We have had a couples ask us politely, to allow them to be our first when the time is right. We also have a couple who are our mentors at the resort. They are way too far advanced for us. Ideally, we would like another couple that is just starting to explore this lifestyle as well. Newbies.
We go back to the resort again this week for 7 nights.

 

Jack, Hope things work out for you. We have not been around nudist for a while. Funny because 40 years ago wife was only one shaved, now looked like most are. I think you can find a couple who are interested in soft swing, But I know there was some hard core swingers we meet years ago. good luck

 

Jimandjan, Thank you.

 

It depends how the rules/limits are kept? Me and my bf found that everytime we set a limit I would cross it, and it frustrated both of us. In the end we agreed to just accept what I do and to discuss it afterwards. As long as feelings aren't involved and it's only for safe, mutual pleasure, I have a lot more freedom this way with my other partners, without the anxiety of crossing lines.

 

What limits did you set, and then cross?

 

Usually rules like no more than one partner at a time, can't get with the same person twice, no swallowing, etc. but you can see how those can be easily crossed :/

 

Yeah.....rules are made to be broken.

When my ex was hotwifing our rules were condoms and she had to give me all of the details when she returned home. Her BF for six months couldn't keep an erection when my wife rolled a condom on him. So from the first time forward there were no condoms.....which was fine with me. I always got the details afterwards.

Current wife during our MFMs with the same trusted friend we had no rules. She kissed, swallowed, he came in her.....it was about her pleasure. Why limit it?

 

Lovnflman,
Why set limits? The answer for us is : It is because we are starting this swapping journey as seniors and are very protective and respectful to each other. We think limits are a higher level of respect. We are a very sexual and happy couple and have recently found ourselves being approached by several swinger couples. This is a huge bridge for us to cross. Once crossed, we want to insure our relationship is paramount and remains strong.
The good thing we are totally together. We haven’t found the right couple..yet.