Sharing without knowing

I completely agree. Unfortunately you wouldn't make a good marriage counselor.

 

Yes, i agree with you babe...i m more of a practical guy...but don't get me wrong, i m all for happy marriages but when one stubbornly refuse to give to the other party in the marriage relationship their needs and desires in sex when requested which they so richly deserve under the marriage contract, they ought to bear the consequences themselves n got no one else to blame but themselves.. out of their own wilful refusal to satisfy their partner's needs and wishes as requested with all their pleas falling on deaf ears...they hv been put on notice and still blindly refuse to accede to their partners' pleas for kinky pleasurable sex e.g. cunnilingus, and not just those usual ordinary mundane ones....so who to blame but themselves....no, i m not blindly going according to the book esp when it all seems helpless, unjust n unfair to the party in need....all because their idiotic partners nonchalantly fail with a complete disregard in their duty to please and fulfill their sexual needs and desires in the marriage contract...life is short and i m sure all of us want to live and enjoy life to the fullest...no one shd be denied his/her urge for pleasure without good and reasonable reasons...

 

Everyone who plans to get married should first read the above portion of your wonderful post. So very true.

 

Personally, I believe it's quite possible to have a great marriage with the understanding that either can have sexual fun with other people. I mean, there's so much more to marriage than just sex. In fact, great sex alone is a poor basis for a marriage. Think of two people agreeing to guide each other through life to the end. It should be embarked on as an unbreakable agreement. As such, it's a team where both have common goals they tackle together. Lifelong goals, not just intermediate goals. And put each other first, always. No secrets. Compatible baseline belief systems. But just like you can let your partner play tennis, for example, with someone else, why can't you let them have sex with someone else? It's really just a mindset when you think critically about it

 

Mostly agree with what you hv said...but to achieve lifelong goals as you say, you must 1st be able to achieve intermediate goals...intermediate goals are important because it leads progressively to lifelong goals...and sex is an intermediate goal not a lifelong goal though it can be also... yes, you are right, marriage shd not just be based solely about sex and nothing else...but with good enjoyable sex you will find all else in life will come and fall in place together naturally and nicely...one happy thing leading to another...sex is an important immediate ingredient necessary for and a binding factor in all happy marriages...most marriages fail or fall apart for 3 main reasons; inadequacy of sex, money and differences in attitude problems, meaning some couples have very different divergent views of life's issues so much so that they always end up quarreling with each other cutting off the communication link between themselves...with no communication or love of any kind, any type of relationship is as good as dead...lolxx..but i like yr analogy though...comparing being allowed to have sex to being allowed to play tennis with friends

 

All the reasons you spelled out are avoidable simply by having in-depth detailed discussions while courting, and deciding ahead of time the agreed on approach to anything either or both have a strong stance on. And we mustn't forget honesty, because going behind someone's back and lying are betrayals which break and harden the heart.