Should i be worried..

?

 

Well when you DO see a "successful" mother, come back to me


and No Im not pregnant

And for the comment Cita said, how could you assume that? You dont even know the main reason why I went on the pill. And not being ready was NOT one of them. The abortion and being pregnant before screwed up my period so I wanted to get on it to keep it 'scheduled' Again, If I was pregnant, despite age, I'd be a great mother because before the Mother Instinct came out of me but I mistakenly went for the abortion and now I have to live with it

 

A good mother to me is someone that doesn't rely entirely on the generosity of others to be a parent. All the young parents I know have their parents babysit constantly, still live at home, and have huge amounts of help from their mother and don't really end up parenting their own child.

Being a good mother is about alot more then maternal instinct. I'm maternal as all hell but I know that I'm not responsible enough to have a child.

How would you go to school? Could you work to support the child and afford daycare, diapers, rent, food, clothing etc.

These are the questions that you should be thinking of long before you have a child.

 

because you said "should i worry?" not "should i be psyched?"

simple bit of language hints there.

and no, i've never seen a sucessful mother.

 

I was a young parent, and I will admit that we did live with my parents during my son's first 6 months. (we were "rooming" with DH's mom before that, splitting all living costs 50/50) We found out AFTER getting married that we couldn't get our own place with literally no credit. We'd chosen an apartment & had talked to the landlord about background checks & references, but simply didn't know that having never owned a credit card meant we wouldn't be accepted as tenants. This was a bit before search engines were rampant on the internet to tell you all these things with just a few minutes of searching, and we had to learn a LOT of things "the hard way." If anything, that makes us terribly naive - but not bad parents.

My parents supplied our home & meals while we worked on gaining a credit record and for that I am truly & forever grateful. But we took care of our son on our own, and she had to BEG to be allowed even to hold him unless my husband was at work & I was in the shower. I was a rather possessive first time mom & was terrified of being labeled as a "bad mom" so I made sure to do absolutely everything for his care on my own. Yes, even diapers. We carried his health insurance ourselves, we provided all of his furniture, clothing, toys, diapers & all that (other than what we received at a baby shower) on our own, and we took him EVERYWHERE with us until he was 3 years old. Even on our occasional "date" to the movies, or out to dinner.

Once my son reached 3 years old, and again with my daughter when she turned 3 we have allowed them to spend the night with one set or another of grandparents once a month, and 1-2 times during the day as well so we can have a few hours to go on a date, catch up on homeschooling paperwork or paint the living room, or just watch a "grown up" movie together. Other than that our children are our own responsibility & nobody else's. I don't even rely on the school district to "educate" them.

Yeah, I know a lot of young mom's that fit your description as well. I happen to know just as many exceptions to the "young, bad mom" stereotype though, and to fit us all into the same mold is just not fair. If all young moms ever hear is that this is what young moms are like, they will think that's what expected of them - and never learn to be anything better.
love,
mom

 

Again, I was worried about what to eat, I know to stick to the healthy foods obviously. I dont drink or smoke so that was out of the question.I was NOT worried about being pregnant-the Instinct kicked in hence hence IM WORRIED ABOUT WHAT TO EAT... Forget coming here and asking for simple advice, you get trampled on because of your age or gender here. Thank you for the people that just gave me what I needed to know instead of criticizing.

I think you should be proud of me because if I was pregnant, I would have kept it and put it up for adoption-given it life because I know in my heart, I am not ready for a child but I will love and take care of it so it grows and goes to a good family, and if I had a change of heart, I try my fucking best to take care of it for the rest of its life. but putting it up for adoption was what I wanted to do for the last time but I mistakenly made the A mistake and Im ashamed of it.


I would have asked my mom for advice but we are not that close enough and I didnt want to freak her out cause shes all for abortion

So I came here. but I think this will the last time I ever ask for advice on here, theres few goods and more bad. its a shame. If you have different opinions dont even look on here then, use what you learned in elementary school "if you have something bad to say, keep it to yourself"


lulu

 

Last I checked thats what you put yourself out for when using a public forum. Different opinions.

When it comes down to it all of the people that said bad aganist young mothers are the ones that would like to protect a child from a less then healthy enviroment (in most cases). That doesn't make us bad people, regardless if you think it does because we don't agree with you.

 

Your so young, why children?

 

Again I think you have just a LITTLE self control to post or not....



rude lol its a long story

 

wow. i just re-read this thread, and it makes me so sad. some people on here whom i generally really respect and enjoy seeing their opinions got kinda catty on here. i love this forum for all the differences of opinion, but instead of giving opinions on what the OP (stacylulu) was asking about, it turned into giving opinions on whether or not an 18 year old is ready to have a kid. and a lot of people on here seem to be very judgmental about this topic. like there's only one way to be a good parent, and that is to be in your late 20s or early 30s, married, with a huge house and all of that bullshit. sorry. that in no way makes you a great parent. and i know i'm taking a slightly simplistic evaluation of what some of the people on here have said, but i'm kind of bringing up what i'm reading/hearing between the lines.

 

And I'm catty?

Right, I'm sick of this. I was offering you another opinion, and clearly I can be ganged up on because according to some people here it's the wrong opinion. No, I don't think there is usually good young mothers, but if you want to get pregnant then thats fine, good luck with that.

I'm out.

 

When will you get it through your head that I DONT want to get pregnant?? I wasnt planning on getting pregnant, read the first post maybe read it twice and then you'll get it

And your opinions werent good. They brought negativity, they were just your rude thoughts about pregnancy when again all i wanted was information from mothers, are you a mother? have you been through what ive been through? No. Grow up just a little before you bring something like that here

If you wanna bash young mothers, make up a thread thats titled "A thread to bash young mothers"
but i highly doubt you'll get anyone to agree with you

Dont come in here just to explain your thoughts and not be helpful cause Im not the only one thats pissed off about what you just said

 

I am sorry but I have to agree with her. I have not seen a good young mother either. My cousin dumps her kid off with anyone she can, while she goes out and parties. All the younger mothers I have met have done the same. My mom included, so I think you should think before you start attacking her for just stating what she has obiviously seen.

 

You are telling her to grow up when its you that needs to grow up. If your so worried about getting pregnant use a condom and birth control. Your the one who has already had an abortion because of this. You should think more clearly and be more responsible so it doesn't happen again.

 

>_>

do i need to say it one more time? seriously? No I shouldnt, start reading more, people


thats YOUR cousin. thats YOUR mom.

 

OH. Am i your mom? am i your cousin? NO. Dont tell a person what to do not knowing them in life. Read the whole thing before you start bitching about something

 

Maybe you should wait till you miss your period next time before posting looking for attention. I know from what you've posted you seem very dull. Your the one who has already had an abortion think with your head instead of your sexual desire. I wasn't saying you in generally I was just saying that I've never seen a good young mother. Stating what I have seen from experience so maybe you should read before you start bitching about something you obiviously don't know a damn about.

 

I was a young mother (20) I didn't rely on my parents or social assistance, I worked my ass off, lacked sleep and sometimes couldn't afford to feed myself but you know what?! I'm a damn good mom, and nobody could ever say otherwise....I have always done what's best for my boys even if that means me going without. Parenting is trial and error, but just because you error doesn't mean you fail it means you learned a lesson and became stronger and better at what you do....
I have known other young mothers who were far better at parenting than many of the older ones I know...age is irrelevant, maturity, and instinct is what matters....

 

Ok I get that but I am just saying from what I have seen. Its doesn't mean that I think anyone is a bad mother on this forum. I didn't say that did I? I have not problem with you, I have a problem with a person who isn't taking responsibility. I am not stabbing all young mothers, I just said from the ones I know. Which is quite a few they don't care about their child. They spend their time partying while their parents stay home and raise their grandchild.

 

Im not being judgmental AT ALL. I looked for advice cause i WAS LATE on my period. I didnt come here to be criticized and mostly every post here is just criticism and hardheadedness

and i have not once said young mothers suck at parenting. I CAME HERE FOR ADVICE CAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT MY FOOD INTAKE FOR MY BABY

was I worried about being pregnant???? NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

There. is that dull enough for you?