Damn, are you trying to make me feel better or piss me off? Your right. It will be over before I know it. Till then I am trying to work out what the fuck I am going to say when we start talking so I don't fuck it up some more.
My heart is a bit jumbled at the moment. I think it's best for me to wait till it settles before I speak. I don't like speaking when I know I am going to regret what I say.
It's always been my experience that "planning" what I'm going to say messes me up worse than going in cold. If I start with improvising then it's easy, but if I have a plan of what to say, and what they say takes us in another direction, I'm lost on what to say because I was too worried stressing to think on my feet.
It's not so much that I am planning on what I am going to say. It's looking at what was said to me and trying to find truth in it. Maybe he was right. If he was then I need to look at that and think about what I need to do to change. I'm all for comprismising. I used to say the first thing that came to mind. Even if I knew it would hurt the other person. I don't like hurting people so I don't say anything at all until when I am ready to talk the conversation won't be counter productive.
Anybody that has read my posts knows I do the that quite often, but the past couple years I've been making an extra effort to keep it out of my relationships. I used to get mad at somebody and it was my goal after that to not stop being a dick until they were crying. My last "gf" would never leave me alone long enough to calm down though. She'd follow me into rooms yellling and cussing etc. I have no time for people like that. Sorry to hear that you and your husband are fighting. It sounds like you are handling it well though, and I am sure everything will get resolved quickly. :H
I know it will get resolved. Thank you for your post and your honesty. In my own experience I remember behaving like your girlfriend. I know why I behaved like that. It was my defense trying to work it out even though you wouldn't of known that by my choice of words. Deep down I really wanted everything to be okay. THis is a strange analogy but it's almost like a dog that has been bitten. When someone tries to comfort the dog the dog bites back. No one likes being hurt and no one likes hearing whats wrong with them.
oh peanuts, i am sorry. i hate fighting too but i seem to have a fighting personality when it comes to my mates. i am trying to learn to be more quiet when i am angry, sit with it and sort what is me and what is actually them.... i suppose that is what all this time with myself is gonna help me to learn...cause i still have to go through all this with my bitter husband...but hell, 1 more month to go...then i am free
I still cant believe i am 25..and in five more years I will be 30.. Im pretty excited though, I mean..haha, everyone has to age sometimes..but you may age in years but you yourself, dont have too..haha that really didnt make sense.. I just hope im not around when i have to ask people for help in wiping my ass, hope i am gone by then...
I do. I love love love hearing what's wrong with me. It's a reality check. What I dislike is pointless criticism and name calling Ie. "You stupid fuck, that's why you never can do anything right" <----That is dumb. "I know it's not easy, but you really need to......(insert productive comment here)" <----nothing would make me happier than a whole argument of that Except a whole day of eating.
Hmmmm. I seem to have forgotten this thread was about age, and not about poor Peanuts and her fight I really don't plan on getting old......I just need to find a way to stop it before then. It seems like we come in shitting in diapers and we die shitting in diapers. I hope to die early. I don't want my mind and body to fall apart.
Thank you Marie. Congratulations on your freedom is that is what you want. I'm sure this hasn't been easy for you. Lots of emotions involved. Last night when all was being said I felt like my mind was playing tricks on me. I was thrown off track. I hate that feeling. I hate being confused. I went to bed and tried to think about things. I ended up waking up with a migraine. I even bought a pack of smokes this morning. I tried quitting. Hard to quit when your fighting with your Love. Everything will work itself out.
I AGREE W/ THIS. I also do not mind someone telling me what i do, sometimes i am not conscious of it.... i however, seem to critize...i hate it and am trying to break the pattern, its not very easy to do...but knowing i do it, i at least of a fighting chance of stopping...
I'm sorry Lynsey. I robbed your thread. I think 30 was my best year yet. I was married, had my family, my home. My life was established. I felt like it was time for me to enjoy my life. Sounds corny but it was a great year.
lynsey shut up im 25! i havent come to grips with getting older yet myself. Its odd i mean i still in some ways feel like im 16. im reckless, insane, and selfish! LOL
and peanuts...i wish you peace. perhaps what you can do is when you see him act as if nothing happened. give him your love and attention then as things are good with the two of you, then you can have a heart to heart about how you both made one another suffer. then it will come from love and not blame.
haha I still feel like I am in my teenage years too.. Its so strange being in my mid-twenties cause I sure as hell dont feel like it, nor act like it
