Thank you. I could use some of that peace right now. lol He instant messaged me while I was typing. He said he was sorry. I accept. I don't like fighting. Makes my face all frowny. lol I did act like nothing was wrong this morning. I didn't say much. I told him to have a good day. I felt like I needed to give him time to think about last night without me throwing it in his face.
Good luck. I've been trying for a while, and I do much, much better now but I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be. I think the biggest problem I have, and this may be true for others, is that I'm left....unsatisfied if I'm polite and nice when I'm angry. If I'm angry and I don't yell and cuss, or copp a sarcastic attitude, it leaves me with a frustration that almost makes it worse.
My husbands rule of thumb is no yelling. If I want to talk with him I can't yell at him. He won't hear a word I am saying if I yell. This was challenging for me for the first 5 years of being together. I grew up in a family who yelled. I was actually thankful to break the habit. We may fight and bicker and it still sucks but at least I don't have anyone yelling at me.
well with me when i get mad and pissed and hurt others, i am left with sorrow for being an asshole afterwards. seems i have two sides...the person i am inside and the person that reacts.
It's funny you mention that, because that's what I tell people. "If you yell, you can leave until you don't feel like yelling. Then if you need to yell again, we can repeat the process as many times as you feel like trying, but I"m not 5, and I' not your child so talk to me." Some people, however, will not only not leave when they yell they'll follow you with their car and yell at you while you leave.
Ditto, I feel soooo horrible afterwards, but while I'm angry if somebody says something mean and hurtful to me, then if I play cool, I"m still angry and still want to say "Fuck you, you dumb bitch" even though I know I'll regret it later. It's almost like that is a release for me, but it's totally innapropriate.
LOL!!! I've never had anyone follow me with their car. That's when you drive and act like you don't know the person. That could piss them off more, could cause an accident of some sort. Maybe not a brilliant idea.
LOL!!! I couldn't help myself. I actually have a loaf that I will be throwing away. It was on my mind.
i have just begun to work on it...then again i have always been with assholes. aND I am tired of such patterns...i deserve better and deserve to be better for my own sake.. do you feel like you are two seperate people in that you do what you dont wanna do?
All the time. I will rationally tell myself there is no need to share information, or ask certain questions, and when the time comes that I have the chance, I do w/o thinking. Small stuff like that. If I have $50 that I need, but I can get by with $20, I'll spend $5 here $10 there and justify it til I don't even have the $20 I needed. All things I've been working on, but I've noticed I've fallen into a slump since I got depressed; consequently I can't get undepressed because all of these flaws are part of whats causing me problems right now. It's like at the moment, I'm depressed solely because I'm depressed if that makes sense.* Edit* More like I'm dpressed cuz I fuck up, and I fuck up because I'm depressed.
So if my depression is not caused by depression I am not depressed? I don't think that's why it's called that. Did you miss my edit anyway? if so here it is again --->Edit* More like I'm dpressed cuz I fuck up, and I fuck up because I'm depressed.
YES IT makes complete sense...i have often wondered if there is something wrong with me...rationally and interally, i am such a wonderful beautiful person within, and i attract people cause of it...however, when it comes to my mates, oh my i let my ugly show. i will find that i bitch and complain and nitpick..i will tear them to shreds and it all comes back to the fact that i dont like my reflection...which is rediciulus cause the only thing holding me back is the fact that i am acting out in that manner. crazy huh? sometimes i even wonder if i am able to love. now this is ridiculus as well, since i know how to of course, its the showing of it that i have a hard time...lots of walls. are you depressed currently edit...and by the way chaos factor is a perfect name. i tell people all the time i am chaos.
Crazy? No. Unfortunate? Yes. I have a similar problem with relationships, but it's not with anger. I let my insecurities and other aspects of personality scare me into running people off because I'm scared they'll leave :& I wonder the same thing. Sometimes I 'love' too quickly, and other times I shut people out when I really do love them. Currently depressed......I guess you could say that. Jobless, carless, fighting w/ my mom a lot, trying to slowly quit smoking weed. I suffer from 'grumbling' depression(Eeyore syndrome) anyway so most days are lack luster anyway, but I think things have been a little worse than normal since I didn't leave for Seattle. Although I wouldn't notice the difference if things were better.
you know i have the same thing w/ relationships...i fall in love so very quickly and then i realize their imperfects and i am like...i dont have to handle this...when in reality its my imperfects biting my asss *sighs* hopefully one day i will get through this all...i am realizing more and more things daily that are bringing me to peace...but then i will slip and forget i felt peace *rips out hair* fun being human, eh? but you know what...we are better off for the struggles...even the ones you are having right now...believe me, i have gone through mine in the last year, seperated from my husband, dealt w/ very meanspirited behaviour from him...everything to even letting the air out of my tires and breaking into my home, i currently live w/ my parents and share a room with my 2 1/2 year old, my car is shit..as a matter of fact my bro had to bring me to work today, her dad isnt consistent w/ getting her and doesnt pay me child support...i work for 10.00 an hour and have 560 a month daycare...i have my fair share of struggles...but really, i wouldnt change any of it. i am having the opportunity to create my own rainbows. to work on my problems. to see where i personally went wrong, to gt closer to my daughter and freinds. and to find the silver linings all over the place. its a rough fucking road but damn if its not fun. *pushes the accelerator down to the floor* weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
