so who all else here is schizo/bipolar?

i've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, but lucky for all you guys, my paranoia is controlled by me hermitting myself, and lots of meds.
so... i can use my laptop indoors.

here is a "little" synopsis of my doctors notes, which he copied for me as part of cognitive therapy, and to help me differentiate whats in my head from reality:

--A blank, vacant facial expression, no matter how deep in thought the patient claims to be when observed from afar alone, and questioned later.
--Sleep disturbances - insomnia or excessive sleeping.
--Involuntary movements of the tongue or mouth (facial dyskinesias).
--Parkinsonian type symptoms - rigidity, tremor, jerking arm movements, or involuntary movements of the limbs.
--Eye movements - difficulty focusing on slow moving objects, and unable to perceive the difference in G & 6, for example, when placed side-by-side on a moving object.
--Unusual gestures or postures.
--Movement is speeded up - i.e. constant pacing, and at other times;
--Movement is slowed down - staying in bed (in extreme cases, catatonia).
--The inability to experience joy or pleasure from activities (called anhedonia).
--Sometimes feeling nothing at all.
--Appearing desireless - seeking nothing, wanting nothing.
--Feeling indifferent to important events.
--Feeling detached from your own body (depersonalization).
--Hypersensitivity to criticism, insults, or hurt feelings.
--Sudden irritability, anger, hostility, suspiciousness, resentment.
--Depression- feeling discouraged and hopeless about the future.
--Low motivation, energy, and little or no enthusiasm.
--Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation.
--Rapidly changing mood- from happy to sad to angry for no apparent reason (called labile mood).
--Severe anxiety.
--Dropping out of activities and life in general.
--Social isolation - few close friends if any. Little interaction outside of immediate family. (in my special, this is reversed. my lack of parent input as a child has me in a situation where i interact only with my grandfather, and focus all my life on my few, special friends.)
--Increased withdrawal, spending most of the days alone.
--Becoming lost in thoughts and not wanting to be disturbed with human contact.
--Neglect in self-care- i.e. hygiene, clothing, or appearance.
--Replaying or rehearsing conversations out loud- i.e. talking to yourself (very common sign).
--Finding it difficult to deal with stressful situations.
--Inability to cope with minor problems.
--Lack of goal-directed behavior. Not being able to engage in purposeful activity.
--Functional impairment in interpersonal relationships, work, education, or self-care.
--Deterioration of academic or job-related performance.
--Inappropriate responses- laughing or smiling when talking of a sad event, making irrational statements.
--Catatonia- staying in the same rigid position for hours, as if in a daze.
--Intense and excessive preoccupation with religion or spirituality (um, not religion, cos i hate it, but; the works of Aldous Huxley, Friedrich Nietzsche, Terence McKenna - i have an undeniable, inhuman desire to make everyone read these books and not just think they're about glorified junkies. all of which, are existentialist works.)
--Drug or alcohol abuse.
--Smoke or have the desire to want to smoke.
--Frequent moves, trips, or walks that lead nowhere !!!!
--Ruminating thoughts- these are the same thoughts that go around and round your head but get you nowhere. Often about past disappointments, missed opportunities, failed relationships.
--Making up new words (neologisms).
--Becoming incoherent or stringing unrelated words together (word salad).
--Frequent loose association of thoughts or speech- when one thought does not logically relate to the next. For example, "I need to go to the store to buy some band-aids. I read an article about how expensive AIDS drugs are. People take too many street drugs. The streets should be clean from the rain today, etc" The need to go to the store to buy band-aids is forgotten.
--Directionless- lack goals, or the ability to set and achieve goals.
--Lack of insight (called anosognosia). Those who are developing schizophrenia are unaware that they are becoming sick. The part of their brain that should recognize that something is wrong is damaged by the disease (I USED to be like this, seeking only help for the induced depression thereby, but it's been slowly shown to me that i'm schizophrenic, and have been so for many many years of my life, without any hint that something's up. it just seemed normal).
--Trouble with social cues - Often not responding appropriately and thus coming off as cold, distant, or detached.
--Difficulty expressing thoughts verbally. Or not having much to say about anything. (in some cases, yes).
--Speaking in an abstract or tangential way. Odd use of words or language structure.
--Poor concentration/ memory. Forgetfulness.
--Obsessive compulsive tendencies - with thoughts or actions.
--Overpowering, intense feeling that people are talking about you, looking at you.
--Overpowering, intense feeling you are being watched, followed etc.
--Delusions of reference- thinking that random events convey a special meaning to you. An example is that a newspaper headline or a license plate has a hidden meaning for you to figure out. That they are signs trying to tell you something. (didn't even realise i was doing this, i was just noticing coincidence, as far as i was concerned, but, no).
--Delusions of grandeur - the belief that you have an important mission, special purpose, or are an unrecognized genius, or famous person. (goes back to the Nietzsche/Huxley/McKenna thing)
--auditory hallucinations; When people hear voices inside their heads, it is as if their inner thoughts are no longer alone. The new voices can talk to each other, talk to themselves, or comment on the person's actions. The majority of the time the voices are negative & always beyond the patient's control.

and then there's the psychopathy (not the same as psychosis) symptoms:

--glib, superficial charm born of fundamental delusion that patient is always a less-than-perfect (often the subconscious precursor to symptomatic schizoid Delusions of Granduer, retrospectively).
--lack of empathy.
--again, Grandoise sense of worth to some extent.
--parasitic lifestyle and/or inability to see fault with vagary. (hitch hiking & sleeping in the street)
--pathological lying, so serving as denial (coping mechanism) -- "pathological" because the "normal" human in denial uses coping mechanisms, but knows it -- the psychopathic/-somatic individual does not until later informed what they have said or done.
--promiscuity, or a ambiguous sexuality.
--cunning
--lack of remorse, or guilt.
--failure to accept personal responsibilty (i always take someone else down with me, or make sure that whatever happens is as much my fault as someone else -- even the victim).
--shallow affect.
--lack of realistic, long-term goals.
--criminal versatility - skill in many walks of criminal life (theft, threat, hotwiring, extortion, blackmail, assault, fraud).


all questions to my PM inbox s'il vous plaît
some of this bloats my ego. damn.

 

I just came out of my shortest elated episode yet...less than a week, i feel kind of ripped off....I did manage to redesign the back yard, well the mixed state kicked in at the same time as hay fever of all things...now im just blah, not too bad since i had a good dose of codeine last night.

I've been looking up psychiatric disorders and omega-3 oils, Theres some strange results around. Does anyone have a reccommended dose? one study was 1g of EFA per day...another 9.6g of 'omega-3 rich oil' or something...and others 9.6g of EFA. I'm confused

 

Paranoid schizophrenia and chronic insomnia. Probably some other things that I don't care to find out. That's just what a psychiatrist has told me.

 

Don't worry, a lot of that is what got me diagnosed.

 

i am affected by my previous encounters with a wide range of psychoatives on a day to day basis; i wouldn't refer to the repercussions as bi-polar or schizophrenia though.. just unsane.