This bothered you more than the "just do coke" comment? Just wondering...I'm not trying to derail this thread any further. I promise.
Well anyway.... I told him to come over today so we could talk today. Ended up fighting....hard....because he said he didn't want to talk about it and I told him we were either going to talk rationally, or we'd yell about it....either way, he's going to hear what I have to say. Fought about 2 hours and finally he said "Calm down and we'll talk about it." (Which was kinda useless as I'd already yelled about everything wrong with our relationship) So, I went for a walk and come back after 20 minutes....and we talked. It was actually a nice talk. The friend is leaving tomorrow night and won't be back for a good 6 months, and he knows that when/if he does come back, that he can't keep doing me the way he has since the friends been in. I told him he had until this baby is born and if I don't see a big difference, everything is over. So, if he loves me, he'll straighten up. He said he will. Time will tell. The ultimatum is out and he knows the rules. Hopefully everything will work out that he grows up a lot and stops acting like I haven't the right to know where he is.
Well here's hoping it all works out and the guy steps up to the plate and starts acting like an adult. But I have to say the thing that stuck out for me was you saying he makes you feel bad for who you are. Do you really think you deserve to be treated like that? I'm sorry to put a dampener on all this and I'm glad he ended up listening to you and such, but honestly, if the guy's disrespecting you and making you feel like it's all your fault and bad about yourself, then really, I don't believe he's worth waiting around for...
I'm sorry but it sounds like you are so unhappy and this guy is a jerk. Yes.. you both might love one another but neither of you is IN LOVE. Plus you are bringing a child into the mix too? If he isn't there for you how could he possibly be there for his child? Having kids makes all parties involved learn about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE something I don't see anywhere in what you have written about the relationship. He sounds like he is a kid himself and needs some serious therapy too. Like Annie says take this time to think about you and your baby. Your young and also a nice person and will have no trouble attracting a better guy and someone who is a Man and not a little boy playing in the sand box of life with his Mommy as a net. After the baby come visit Woodstock and clear out your head. Sending you love-light-peace and healing. The Wiz
Yes, only time will tell. But when I consider everything you've written here, I don't really have much hope for your relationship. Sorry for being so negative, it's just that you've already played your ultimatum card, which is when the baby is born there must be a big difference. You want him to change, and that's perfectly possible, but it won't happen immediately. Your deadline could come and go, and still you'd see nothing. But if this is what you really want, then I hope time will prove me wrong. Peace, Musikero
im so sorry to hear that you are suffering like this. i too have been in a simular relationship. he to was taking drugs and drinking and hanging with his mate and i rarely saw him and we LIVED together. he acted like a comlete twat all the time he wouldnt go anywher with me. it was so horrible. one day fate i believe struck and he was arrested for dealing cocaine and went to prison for 3 years. i waited for him and he came home a new person who since has treated me with respect. if he hadnt got caught when he did things would have gotten worse, which im sorry to say is what i think will happen if you stay with this guy. you need to kick him into touch and dump him darling. this will be a wake up call for him and you'll soon find out how he really feels about you. if he wants you back, you make it on your terms only. if not then you are worth more and deserve much better ok. good luck honey xx
If he wants to play that way show him the reality of the situation. Start a claim for child-support. He'll be living with his mom for 18 more years.
