Something that doesn't exist that you wish did.

all kinds of fanatasy creatures. vampires too. i wont mind some hot specimen biting me here and there

 

I wanna be vamp

 

Whenever I see a dog running about after a ball or something, slobbering all over themselves, I imagine them repeatedly saying "IM A DOG! IM A DOG! THE BALL! GET THE BALL! IM A DOG!" in a bumbling oaf style voice.

but still cute and lovable.

 

hehe i will turn my back to all vampires for your human coolnes

 

I don't have to be vamp to bite you

 

EEeeeexaaactly

fairies and vamps are real dammit. I say so

 

I guess they call them bitches for a reason. It would work better if the talking animals had intelligent and funny things to say, like they do in cartoons.

 

and yet cats would be like "Die. if you really care I'll be vivisecting something small and fluffy, assface"

 

If that were true, we'd all be dead.
Ants are the superior species.

 

lol.

I always expect them to say "Mew. Mew. You gunna feed me now? like.. RIGHT THE FUCK NOW? Mew. Purrrrr."

and of course we always submit.

 

A colony of ants is a super organism... A super organism where each different ant is put in its right place and made to do its task for the greater good of mother colony.

therefor Ants are obviously communist.

are you some kind of traitor?

 

That's why they are superior.
They work at perfect efficiency for the greater good of the collective, and when the colony prospers, so do all of the individuals.
Plus I mean come on, they are like an ultra badass society of hardcore warriors.

 

yeah, but my cats are a sociopath and a jolly sadist.

so, I think they'd be a touch more sarcastic and angry.

 

A computer that can generate its own software based on the users needs in realtime.

 

They are socially numb which makes them indifferent to any such reward system. They could never understand the pleasures of goal oriented labor.
And much like the Russians, they would have a shitty space program.

instead, they could be caged and forced to battle in a coliseum type atmosphere. What sets you apart from ants is that you can actually enjoy such carnage.

 

This/.

 

vagina dentata

 

it does as an anti-rape device.

 

I wish the four beer bottles I just emptied, had beer existing inside them again.

 

horny women.