Sterilization Should Be Available To All.

A womans sex drive goes up in her thirties.

 

Still doesn't make me want to be a mommy.....

Makes me want to do other things instead.

 

lol, well, you really dont know me. Because Im willing to go completely without sex to avoid getting pregnant. Think I cant? I waited and kept my virginity till I was 24. (in spite of having a high sex drive sometimes) .... and yeah, I can easily do it again. I have a great deal of self control.

lol..... and "Fucking" was never in my vocab. at all..... I hate people who treat sex that way .... because for me its always and only been a way of sharing my care for someone ......... and so it comes with a great risk to me of being hurt because when I do anything I put all my heart into it ............ for that reason alone I have avoided getting involved with people, so no Jester .... I am not one of those women you are referring to ..... sluts fuck. I make love.

Fucking for fun has never been a part of my life...
In fact, my life has rarely ever been "fun"...
Im trying to make my life worth living so I wont go and do away with myself ..... thats why I am wanting to get this operation done...

My attitude has always been that sex holds great responsibility. Stupid people fuck around with no thoughts about the consequences.

EVERY choice in life.... has consequences.

So anyways .... the first 25 years of my life has been like a taste of hell to me.... I was actually hoping to make my life a little more desirable to LIVE, by maybe getting involved with someone to love and having a decent relationship and getting sexually involved again...... but I honestly dont even think sex is worth some of the shit Ive had to worry about so...

What Im trying to say is, Im dead serious about it. If I cant get sterilized, or if I cant obtain some form of birth control that is at least 98% effective and I can conbine some other form of BC with it so I can be absolutely sure nothing can happen .................. if I cant have PEACE OF MIND ....... I can always go back to doing the abstinence thing. Ive proved that to myself already. I really dont need to prove myself to anybody else.... I know who I am on the inside, and all of you, dont. Ive been alone all my life, whats the next 25 years alone matter...? And yeah it sounds crazy but Im just trying to prove how serious I am about this. I would be willing to go that far to avoid doing the wrong thing. The wrong thing for ME, which would be getting pregnant. And the wrong thing for a child, because I would be unfit mother seeing as I am a depressive freak of nature.

Kids should only EVER be born into loving families, people who PLAN for them.... people who have the ability and sanity to love them ... children are only hurt when their mother isnt emotionally available to them....
and imagine the hurt they would feel in knowing they were just an accident?
Oh yeah, sure, that happens all the time right? Well, I most certainly dont want to add to it. Never. I want my tubes cut -I will even use further protection even after having that procedure done!- just to ensure that I dont get pregnant.

I am different. and it doesnt matter whether you agree or disagree, either way. I know there are others just like me. But I wont be told by someone who has never lived a day in my shoes.... what I am going to choose to do later down the road with my life. Because youre only comparing me to other women who have done it. But I wont.

And believe me, its no walk into a doctors office ..... from the looks of things its gonna be freakin hard to obtain and Im going to have to do alot to get it done. And it will be so worth it.

Who cares what I regret in 10 years? I can live with that choice, but what I cant live with is the possibility of getting pregnant here and now. Yes, my so-called "life", I live in the "here and now" .... I dont give a shit about the future. Im lucky to still be here. Because I have suffered with mental illness for many years and I am not what you could call a "stable" person. Ive hated my life and wanted to die, Ive been on the suicidal side of things before (and you should be able to relate to that) ... all I want is to be able to live simply, I just dont want stress anymore, my body and mind cant handle stress, I start losing my mind. Ive seen it happen too many times. If Im going to live, if Im ever going to have a chance of being H A P P Y ..... I have to make my life as stress free as possible so I can live as normally as possible .... or else I cant deal with it.

Ok? So Im not doing this just for the pleasure of fucking. Im doing this because it is the most conscientious and responsible thing I can do. ................... The only regret I will ever have is that I didnt have it done SOONER.

Talk to me in 10 years Jester (if Im still alive) ... you'll see .... this is what is best for me...

And generalizations, yeah ... I already apologized to you for that ...
so peace

 

You are a strong womyn, free2fly.

I hope you can get the procedure. Good luck.

 

i'm glad that some women admit that they'd be bad mothers and not have children instead of having them and forcing teachers to raise their children. This is the hardest part of the teaching field that I will have to go through. I think this procedure is the CHOICE of the woman, not a doctor or a government. A male can get sterilized without any problems because I know a few young guys that did it. This proves that us women are still not equal after all of these years for fighting for our rights. When will it ever be over?

 

I haven't read through the whole thread so forgive me if somebody already said this.

Those arm implant things (lack of better word) are on recall.

Secondly, thier is a sterilization procedure that can be reversed, so the whole wanting to have kids later (and you very well may at some point)thing is a moot point.

Find another Gyno, or file a grievance against your doctor.

 

I agree with you, that's bullshit.

I don't blame you for not wanting to take birth control, birth control honestly freaks me out. I think it's a bad idea all around, not just because it can fail, but because it increases your risks of cancers/disease/blood clots and I don't think that it should be forced upon us to take such RISKS with our bodies, just because we want to avoid having children.

I would think at 26 you are old enough to know what you want with your life... and I don't think anyone has the right to tell you otherwise, except yourself.

I give you props for being intent on something like sterilization since you don't want children... I think it's wise, and a much more humane way to go about it than some people do... [abortion]

I don't understand how it is legally okay for anyone of any age to get an abortion, for pretty much ANY REASON, but it's not okay to be sterilized...

Just know I feel for you, and understand what you're saying, and why you're uspet. I think you have a point, and a good reason to be upset. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Did you try switching doctors or talking to someone else? If not, I'd definitely try that. Also, sorry, if you already answered that question, I only read your original post.

 

I feel ya!

 

A woman's sex drive increases alot in her 40's and 50's, maybe beyond, will let you know when I get there. Of course, it depends on how good of a lover her SO is.

 

How absolutely asnine of the doctor. You can make informed decisions re: birth control, abortions, pregnancy, surgeries, meds to take, but you can't make a choice for sterilization.

 

its an elective surgery with risks....thats why.

Doctors are all worried about screwing up/lawsuits. Our hospitals are run like a business. It has nothing to do with trying to control women's bodies or anything silly like that. It is a choice by the doctor for his OWN selfish(selfish isnt always bad...btw) reasons...

 

thanks everyone for the replies...

They told me later that if I come back and get my blood pressure tested again and its more within normal range... that then they can give me the BC...

said that if its still elevated they would want me to go to a doctor to determine the problem and get it dealt with before even being given the BC .... *rolls eyes* .... well first of all, I was having an exam and was nervous, of course my blood pressure would be up then!, but, my blood pressure does occasionally get real high, I think it has something to do with anxiety, but not sure ... secondly... Im not about to get treated with blood pressure pills. My mom has been on them since she was younger than I am! She has major blood pressure problems. I know how that is and am not about to even start. once the body gets dependant on that medicine, its like it requires it..... *shakes head* ..... hmm

But I guess I could try for that again ... go back and be relaxed and have it tested and itll be low, and then get the pills..
just doesnt sound very safe if it elevates blood pressure even more..

Yeah I know sterilization can be reversed.... nothing is permanent nowadays ... so I dont see why its such a big deal.. but anyone going in to get sterilized wouldnt do it with the intention of changing their minds. But it IS an option that can be tried. People make it out to be some major thing ... it aint even ...oh well....

I dont think I would be able to get sterilized even if I wanted to .... it costs so much .... I have no insurance... and although some states have funding for that sort of thing, around here they sure dont, lol. And its not likely that a doctor would take payments ... I dont know.
Oh well........ Im kinda tired of talking about it ......... I talked about it way too much here!... sorry yall ...... I have nobody to talk to about stuff like this, and so... I just needed to rant. Thats why I said all the stuff I did...

But its been so nice to know that there are other women who can relate and who are supportive ..... thank you alll .....

 

There is a name for this. White Coat Hypertension. It occurs in people with labile blood pressure, when they get nervous when they have to see the doctor. One of the ways to help this is to either get a home BP testing kit, or to go to the doctor's office every few days for a few weeks. Eventually, you get less nervous (as usually a nurse just takes your BP, and you don't even see the doctor until the "Trial" is over.) If you really DO have high BP, you don't want to be on the Pill or any other hormonal BC. It really could be dangerous.

Have you considered Depo Shots? I am not a HUGE fan of these, but they are very very effective, as long as you get one every 12 weeks. And they contain NO estrotgen, so you BP should not be effected.

Good luck.

 

There was some concern about the Depo .... I think it was that is can cause weight gain and something else.... and you cant be on it for more than 2 years ... because of bone loss ...or thats what she said. sounds scarey

yah we have an at home test thing... I know my blood pressure is normal most of the time. i dunno..

 

I dealt with this a few years ago. I know I don't want kids and I was going overseas for 3 years (I was 23 at the time) and I asked whether sterilization\ would be an option. All the doctors just told me no. I called EVERY SINGLE gynacologist in town and found one that was willing to give me Norplant. I am not sure what the current situation is about it, but what she told me was that it was only taken off the market for a month or two, but that most obgyns refused to prescribe it afterwards. Since I found the only one that would, I now surprise doctors who have no idea how I got it when I did. So I suppose what I learned is that sometimes persistence pays. That and Norplant is good. If you can't get something permanent then I reccomend finding someone to give this to you and then after another 5 years maybe the doctors will listen to you.

 

Hmm Ill have to look into that ... from what I understood from all the websites Ive read, is that Norplant isnt available in the States now ... the only doctors who deal with it are the ones who do removal ... its available overseas... its a shame ... it had very few side effects in comparison to all other methods...

Im not really worried about any of it, now ... Im not involved with anyone, so, no need.....

 

THe problems with Norplant were many, which is why it was recalled. It caused scarring, it was difficult to remove and womyn couldn't get insurance to pay for the removal for "side effects." It caused weight gain, like Depo does, and some womyn had constant bleeding. Also, there were cases of the rods rupturing, and then releasing a LOT of progestin at once, and still many insurance compnanies woulnd't remove them.

It really wasn't the best form of BC.

free, as for your BP, your body does not become "dependent" on the meds. Hypertension is a progressive illness, which gets worse on it's own. If your meds are controlling it, you may occasionally need to raise the dosage, but not always, But, if you stop taking it, and your BP is higher, it is the DISEASE progressing, not a "dependence" on the medication.

Hypertension, which is the major cause of heart disease, is one of the biggest killers of womyn in the country, more womyn dead, prematurely from Heart Disease with Hypertention than from breast cancer, plus all other cancers combined. If you do have high BP, honey, you need to get it treated.

 

oh.. hmm. Scarring doesnt worry me a bit, I scar myself lol. Weight gain is never good, but I think most of those birth control causes weight gain anyways ... rods rupturing definately doesnt sound good, but ... still ... all those bad things, in comparison to what Ive read on other birth control methods.... I'd still go for Norplant in a heartbeat. It just sounded like it would have been best for me..

I would probably try to get the IUD. Im sure a doc would rather give me that than sterilization and its a heck of alot cheaper.. but its just one of those things they dont want to do.

I guess if I had too, now, I would choose one of the hormonal options or combine a couple of the non-hormonal methods or something ...
As for the shot... I would ONLY consider that, if nothing else were usable... and knowing that I would not be able to remember to take the pill as it is supposed to be taken, lol ........

Ive actually thought about the patch .. is that any good? I thought I read it was only 95% effective. Only having to remember to change it once a week would be great, though! ... but I would definately want something more effective, so maybe using that along with a spermicide or something might be the way to go... I dont know.

Maggie Sugar thanks for all the helpful information ..... I know I should follow up on the blood pressure thing but I wont ........ some things I would rather just ignore, I have too many other things to think about. I feel very strongly against taking medicines ... I HATE doctors ... sometimes Id rather be on my deathbed before I resort to going to one, lol .... but the blood pressure thing, yeah, its something I need to watch because the women in my moms side of the family all have it ...... but Im also pretty sure that my blood pressure is partly caused by anxiety, I have anxiety problems. Used to have panic attacks.. Im very familiar with the whole heart pounding beating out my chest feeling and nervousness and blood pressure shooting up... its second nature to me, I just learned to cope with deep breathing or music, walking, etc... I also know blood pressure can be controlled some by diet, my mom actually managed to come off her BP medicine before by going on a "healing" vegan diet and also taking off some weight... her usually-outrageous blood pressure actually became in normal ranges, which was amazing.... but when she stopped eating that way she had to go back on the med...... oh, and she is super salt-sensitive. Salt is another thing I "try" to watch out for..

The only medicine Ive ever been on long term, is Zoloft for depression... have tried going off that a few times but just find I am better off staying on it. But I dont like being dependant on any med, really.


But anyways ... as I was saying earlier in another post... I dont really have a need for birth control, now... because Im not involved with anyone...

 

The female sterilization involves more complications i think, it is better for the male partner to do it.

 

You can get your tubes tied.