Stoned Festivus For The Rest of Us

they dont do any for me either.

 

yes...that one's off wik..the one I saw was slightly different but I thought looked kinda cool

 

id still love it if I found it.. I wouldnt buy it tho.

 

love how people make a million background noises when expecting me to listen to them on the phone. and that is why we dont like phones.
my phone sitting on my desk total silence to my caller.. motherfuckers are some rude ass shitholes..

 

Whoa, I did it too. My trail cam caught this of a spider climbing it's web.

 

That’s giving me the hebee jeebees

 

Yeah, it freaked me out too. I was expecting a deer or a coyote or something, not a spider.

 

I swear if it weren’t expected of me as a man to kill these things I’d stand on a chair and screech like the LAAAADDIIIIEEES in the old cartoons.

I’ve developed a good poker face though.

 

I like spiders from afar. Just respect my personal space, little 8 legged homies, and we're cool

 

I kill them.

 

I dont always read you in an accent, but I definitely read this in a croatian accent

 

Nnnooo! They're our friends!

 

Squatting

 

I just sent that to Ivo

 

i let most spiders live. outside. i will squash ones that look like widows or recluses, but i generally try to identify them first ( a lot of harmless spiders look like recluses if you cant see them clearly)

inside i let the jumping spiders live. they eat most of the other little spiders and bugs that make it inside. and they are fun to watch hunt.
small critters have a purpose, and people have spent so long going "eww! bug! squish it!" that you actually have to go looking for the information.
as a good example, i found one of these last year and just watched it, it was so pretty.

The blue mud dauber (Chalybion californicum) is a metallic blue species of mud dauber wasp that is the primary predator of black widow spiders.[2] Females build their own nests, but occasionally refurbish nests abandoned by other mud dauber wasps, particularly Sceliphron.[3] It is not normally aggressive.[2] It is similar in shape and colour to the steel-blue cricket hunter (Chlorion aerarium). Like other types of wasps, males do not have an ovipositor, therefore cannot sting. (wiki)

the widows are food for the larvae.... the parents eat nectar and pollinate flowers.

 

My head needs a bed
My tummy needs some yummy
My back needs a crack
My lips need some nips

^

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Spiders are fine right up until the moment they attack..............

 

I slept outside one summer and woke up with a huge spider bite on my face near my right temple.

Later that day my whole body ached, my back hurt with any touch or movement, my feet hurt with any step I took, could barely walk anywhere. This went on for a few days.
Made an appointment to see doctor and a day or two before appointment, everything was ok. I was fine, nothing hurt anymore.

Must of been the spider poison that was injected into me, the spider probably then realized I was to big to eat..