Stoned Festivus For The Rest of Us

How cute.

 

My first thought as well was a Holstein Cow ...lol..

 

Maybe it is cow.

 

Lol, after 7mins of snooker by myself.

Jocelyn 1
Jocelyn 0

I'd love to make a century break. I'm going to kick Jocelyn's ass!

 

30mins later

Jocelyn 57
Jocelyn 2

Hehe. Smashed her.

 

motherfucker 230am this **** satan Ive to sic the police on.. this is getting old. I cant even leave my house without coming back to some creep.. its like a burglar in your home when you get there.

 

Now don't tell me - you managed to snooker yourself on a 'colour' !!!

 

No I knew better than that lol. I potted a red and went up the table to the green I think.

 

There's 107 total points on my table so pretty much have to pot the Black on every Red and run the table up until the black to make a century. Sinking all balls would be 107 points. So it will be very improbable of making a century. I'd have to play it like 8 ball and break the balls off the top of the table to constatly allow a black ball pot.

Too difficult on my size table lol. Fun though.

 

Drunk as fuck
But danced with alot of beautiful ladies. 9's & 10's
Went to a bar afterwards. Gay guy named Joe gave me a back trapezius massage. Then asked for my number. I walked away laughing "maybe next time".

Which in lady language means NO

 

Maybe means there's a chance.

 

No way
This boy toy is lady play only

 

My head is spinning
Dragon go sleep now

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

^Fuckin wicked

 

Wikkid!

 

2nd snooker semi final on now. I'm going for Trump.

I never knew they Re felted the tables throughout the week. Pack of girls blouses. if we have to play on wear and tear shitty pub tables, they can go through 5 days of one felt.

 

The Thai massage was pretty good today. Within the first I reckon... 1.25 seconds my back was cracking. She asked me to mention if it hurt too much and to reduce pressure but I just let her do her thing. I wish I could have seen it she genuinely seemed like she was having fun like I was some sort of apparatus.

I've never been to a Thai massage parlour before, and I asked for the deep tissue 30min session and this chick was like all 4s on top of me and like full sitting on me and stuff lol.

When she got to my shoulders she was really good. I could feel her feeling for the knots and she started to dig her elbows in. Initially on the left shoulder it was pretty painful but I just grit my teeth and deal with it. After what felt like a grueling 5mins she switched to my right shoulder.

Now my right shoulder is held together by 12 nails and 3 metal plates and when she got in there with the elbow holy fuck did it hurt. I did not think I was going to be able to grit my teeth for very long and was just about to gasp a sound to her.

It was at this moment I had a very spiritual experience. The rooms were candle lit and very dark, and so I just told myself to relax. I close my eyes and ignored the pain. I began to scent aromas in the room and with the easy listening relaxing music, for an amount of time I just completely forgot what she was doing or how much it hurt.

I thought about how some cultural rituals do things with pain and mediation and wondered if I was experiencing anything similar. By the end of the shoulder part she had managed to roll out all my knots and ties and whatever the hell in my shoulder muscles.

Then she got on my back again and dug her elbows into my shoulders and her knees into my hamstring and calf. I actually enjoyed the pain this time, especially in the hamstring and calf. It felt amazing.

I've always known I've had a decent pain threshold and I thought I was at my peak today so it was good to not have to back out of it.

When she said she was finished I quickly raised my head to take a look at what this Thai chick looked like. Absolutely tiny! I'd definitely do a massage like that again.

 

I started my massage experience this way.
Knots
Pain
Holding my breath
More pain

Now, as I've gotten a routine of visits to my MT, knots are gone, pain is minimal and deep tissue massage is pleasurable.

I've fallen asleep and drooled a few times with my face in the donut.