Stupid comment come-backs

gotta love "with all due respect"

"with all due respect sir, your face looks like the ass end of a babboon."

 

you could try the route to make them feel like shit.... with a completely straight and slightly sad face, say something along the lines of:

Actually, I have a rare skin disease that make my hair grow like this, but its okay, you didn't know" and then turn around and walk off looking down with your hands in your pockets.

 

blankly stare is what i usually do

 

Haha.. awesome! You gotta be able to pull it off though.

 

dragging your feet and kickn' some pebbles along the way

 

When I think about the next time someone asks me, "Will you have to shave all your hair off?" I usually get the following conversation in my head...

Them: Will you have to shave all your hair off?
Me (with shocked expression): Shave my hair off?! Omg when?!
Them: When you don't want it anymore..?
Me: Oh yeh, sure, same as you will have to shave all your hair off when you don't want it anymore.


Or, if I see the question coming, I get in there first, and ask if they're gonna have to shave their hair off.


Most of the conversations I ever have are in my head... hmm.


lol

 

I think they next time someone says your hair is dirty you should pick your nose, wipe a booger in their hair and say, "Well there's a booger in yours."

 

OMG I am in roffles xD Me and my sister are both in roffles xD

I'll have to write some of these down xD

Amy, I'm using that one

7N3 Thats so awesome xD

Mamamojo, this could give me an excuse to throw drink over someone

Thanks guys, these are awesome

 

I tell them my mom killed herself with a brush about six months ago. Then I get all pissed and storm off.

 

usually i am hostile to assholes

however, if someone sincerely wants to know, ill educate them

but i get 'rasta!' and 'i got that weed mane' nearly every time i leave the house, im usually an asshole to these people.

 

theyre very clean...unless i run outta tiolet paper and gotta wipe with dreads

unless i never cut themnj in my life
you know in your lifetime you'll spend an average of 13,500 on haircuts..if you go for the cheapest cuts possible

you cant? hmm what was i doing in the shower this moring..maybe i just never knew the proper definition of washing?
i always thought it involvced soap and water..was i wrong?

 

i read em all backwards and ofcourse the best was last (or 1str)

i love your approach

 

its very important to say that, means you can be really snotty when your boss says it to you, which has happened and i did say that.

 

When I go to Walgreen's, there's this fucking rent-a-cop that works there, and every time my husband and I go in, he's there going "'Ey! you be Jamaican girl, you rastaaaaa!" I just call him a midget and walk by.

Fucking asshole.

 

Pics or it didn't happen

 

i am the ravager of worlds

 

HAHAHA, that is classic ^

here's some more take them or leave them:

"Were you born an asshole or did you have to practice?"

"You should get yourself checked by a doctor... because you have diarrhea coming out of your mouth. That's not natural."

stay strong everyone

 

Far to elaborate

 

then hows about:
"does shit taste good coming out yo mouf?"