Texts from last night

(339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

 

(813): I'm fucking your sister right now.
(1-813): You motherfucker
(813): She's next.

 

(970): I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now

 

(703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

 

(570): So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
(330): I don't know you.



OOOOO! SOUNDS FAMILIAR!

 

(517): careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus

 

(617): i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
(617): you want 1 or 2 eggos?

 

LOL, yup. It sure does. I dont think it was scooby doo, though.

 

some kinda tshirt and jammie pants, though.

 

(734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"



AHAHAHAHA!

 

just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.