The elderly are annoying..

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing my mind, I swear we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was mistaken.

She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. She turned to the woman driving and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"

 

damn - at least I'm doin something right....LOL

 

I don't have a problem with the elderly (70s early 80s)

But I do have a problem with the real old ones in their late 80s and early 90s who look so haggard. The ones who look like they've read one too many obituaries and have grown to love it. the ones who have buried all of their friends and relatives while they stand firm against the grim reaper...you know the ones who just keep hanging on and hanging on.



Hotwater

 

I went to sheltered accomodation once to visit someones grannie and it just seemed to me like gods waiting room or something. I tried to start a casino for them and offered to take bets on which one would be next but a couple of people almost had a heart attack cuz it was all too much excitement -
The strange thing about old people is that they never go to nightclubs !
Youd think that those who like music would go there - after all where else would you get 10000 watts of sound blasted out so that the didnt have to use a hearing aid.

Grannies are a bit funny and dont understand anything about the modern world
my gran used to have this conversation every time we went out somewhere with her
gran : "Why dont we go into the bank"
us : no need to gran we can get the money from a cash machine
gran : do they get paid much though its awful isnt it
us: who?
gran : the man in the cash machine
us: what man
gran: the one who pushes the money through the hole
us : its electronic
gran: what is
us :the cash machine
gran : what cash machine?
us: at the bank
gran : oh I dont like like the way the banks treat the staff/ why they make them stand behind a wall stuffing money through a hole is beyond me - I like to see who I'm dealing with
us : "shall we call the men in white coats "?

 

You talkin bout me ? :bigear:

 

Hgh238---I want your address--I'm coming to your house and annoy the shit out of you.jk---------------

 

I'm mildly irked that I'm going to have to support .73 old people for the rest of my life once the baby boomers retire.

 

A couple of my closest friends have been very old. And they usually have a better grasp of technology than I do. I love listening to their stories and talking about random things with them. The elderly are generally much more real, like someone was saying earlier in this thread. They're not concerned with looking "cool".
Granted, some older folks do get a little slow and disconnected from reality, but not more disconnected than the majority of young people, though I've met many wonderful young people too.
Which reminds me, I ought to write one of my old lady-friends a letter. I miss her.

 

I can see why you find them annoying, but I really love them They're annoyingness is cute, I love hearing about each of their lives (always so different), and they're just great people. I really respect them, they fascinate me. I almost am looking forward to becoming old

 

old people are mean to me...well some of them. some are really nice. my grampy is mean to me but he has some kick ass stories. well, i don't know, some of those are kinda mean as well.
i think the thing about elders is that many of them are stuck in there ways. veiwing us ...there probably like "what the hell?"
kinda like we are with them. the are good and bad of everything so, im not gonna say that all old people are annoying ...but i definitly think that those who neglect that the youth are alive are hard to deal with

 

Who said old people dont think about looking cool ?
They wear shell suits and trainers and everything - Look at Jimmy Saville !
He is a prime candidate for cool old person but hes nuts so it doesnt count.
Mad as a hatter -My grannie wanted to look cool and she snogged Mick Jagger when she was 70. She is so cool that she designs all Nike's trainers and has won golden oldie old folks home designer of the year competition. She is in a gang of hoodie thugs just for the street cred and has made several "happy slapping" videos on youtube - Her ambition is to star in an eminem video with dre and em - and she outcools them both and starts rapping - she's a master on the decks
this is one of her poems
cut you up - gonna cut you up (beep)
gonna outstyle ya gonna be bigger
sell a few k's to the homies
give my man bromies
take him to niagra
force feed him viagra

jimmy saville is 143 today
this is him on his 102nd

 

I believe The Picture of Dorian Gray is more than just an interesting fictional allegory on old age, I believe it's based on reality.


The longer we live the more evil we absorb, so we wrinkle, we form brown spots, and our hair turns gray.





Hotwater

 

I believe that as well and to prove it I have a picture in my attic that has been aging for 200 years - but I must have been very good as it looks the same now as when it was painted and so do I
Infact now that you have found out my secret you can call me dorian
Oscar Wilde just sensationalised my story a lot ! we made a fortune ! and spent it on beer wine women and food
since then I found it only ages if I do something that is immoral or blasphemous so eventually it made sense to drop religion and since I did so the painting has not aged at all

 

"If one of them is waiting at a red light infront of you and you want a laugh just honk the car horn really long and loud - they will panic and pull out into 4 lanes of oncoming traffic and start driving faster than you ever saw an oldie drive before"

Do not try this at any time other than in the controlled environs of Grand Theft Auto...there it does work.....unfortunately here in reality it gets old people t-boned by oncoming traffic.

 

What - do ya thinkso ?????? Well that will surprise everyone !
Thanks for letting us know ! wow - I didnt realise that !

Actually I made up all that other stuff but this I promise is a true story
well ya need a sense of humour these days

Quite Some time ago me and my friends were smoking some weed and having a laugh and we decided to get some shopping - bread milk eggs beans and when we'd paid for it we got to the train station and while we waited for the train my friend pulled out a can of beans and said to me quite loudly "theses cans of beans were 20 pence off at tesco's" (it was a lie) but all these old people looked at each other, got up and went to tesco's and they were talking about what a bargain they would get at that price as they walked up the stairs from the platform ...

OOH I bet they laughed when they realised it was a joke !

 

old people have this unusual habit of congregating bang target outside every supermarket when people are rushing in for the makings of a sandwich and tins of guzzle juice. They wait by the doors and when you try and get past, they move to the left. You move to the right and like heat seeking missiles, they move to the right. Finally after fifteen minutes, you finally get past before the pesky pensioner has time to react.


This also happens at checkouts. Usually there is old people there and they put all their items on the conveyor belt with all the speed and dexterity of an 1970's car building robot. Then if that isn't bad enough, you try and tell them that you are in a hurry after one hour later and they pretend they are death or stick finger in ear and turn hearing aid off.

 

Either that, or they slam it into park and step out with a .45 and a bigassed flashlight. :jester:

 

If I were you I'd lock that picture away in the safest and deepest vault you can find. should that picture succumb to fire or insect damage..... you'd look like oscar wilde whose been dead for sometime now.



Hotwater

 

The other day I saw an old person in HMV with the earphones on at a music terminal. She was literally dancing to Rudebox. Everyone hid their laughs. Then the old person did a twirl and nearly choked herself on the headphone cables. What a way to go