The It's just wrong joke thread

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dweezil111, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. DazedGypsy

    DazedGypsy fire

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    Oh god.. the dead baby jokes :ack2: and :rofl: at the same time.. what an usual feeling. LOL
     
  2. jmt

    jmt Ezekiel 25:17

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    thiers a black guy , a hispanic guy and a arab in a car ........whos driving?




























    a cop.
     
  3. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    Three vampires go into a bar. One orders blood & vodka, the second orders blood & whiskey, the third orders a cup of hot water.

    The barman asks, 'why aren't you having blood like your friends?'

    The vampire pulls out a tampon and says "I'm having tea."
     
  4. *kushbaby*

    *kushbaby* Member

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    dear god quoth.... lol

    oh and lennon_skye that was fuggin funny shit man
     
  5. *kushbaby*

    *kushbaby* Member

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    * why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?.....to see the expression on it's face when you turn it on....
    * why when a baby is born do they boil water.... in case it's a still born they can make soup!
    * how do you make a baby crawl in circles..... nail one of it's hands to the ground
    * what do you call a dead baby on a plane...... Carry on!
    * How many dead babies does it take to cover a wall..... depends on how hard you throw them.
     
  6. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    Oh I got loads..

    Bloke walks into a bar, orders 5 shots of tequila. Bartender asks 'hey, why so many?'

    Guy replies 'I'm celebrating my first blowjob.'

    Barman says 'hey congratulations, have another one on the house!'

    Guy replies, 'nah, if 5 don't get rid of the taste I doubt 6 will!'
     
  7. *kushbaby*

    *kushbaby* Member

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    Gooooooooooooooooo!
     
  8. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom "Kid's.... there's good news and bad news."

    "The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago"

    "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"
     
  9. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    Two men are sitting in a restaurant. There is also a woman sitting opposite to them with her legs wide spread.

    One man says: "Dude, is that hair she has down there?" the other says: "Oh no, it can't be hair, it's dark panties!" Then they made a bet - £100 . A waiter goes by so they ask him to find out for them.

    He did so, but takes all the money and walks away. "What happened, why are you taking the money?!" Asked the first man.

    The waiter replies: "Neither of you was right! She had her period and there were flies on her!"
     
  10. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    Two necrophiliacs are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says,
    "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle."
    "What," the other asks, "green?".
    "No," says the first, " a bit sour."
     
  11. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.

    The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"

    The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."
     
  12. *kushbaby*

    *kushbaby* Member

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    you are a terrible person:mad: *muffles laughter*
     
  13. Quoth the Raven

    Quoth the Raven RaveIan

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    I am :D

    Ain't I wonderful?
     
  14. hippiepeece

    hippiepeece Member

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    The first one isnt really messed up its just stupid funny
    Guy walks into a bar... dont ya think it hurt *duh duh chh*
    Michael Jackson is only dating 28 year olds... you know why?.... theres 20 of 'em

    Theres a brown haird woman a red head woman and a blonde haired woman. The brown haired woman says "I found a beer bottle in my daughter's room, i didnt know she drank!" the red head says " oh yeah, i found ciggarettes in my daughter's room, i did not know she smoked!" The blonde chick says "oh please, i found condoms in my daughter's room, i had no idea she had a penis!"

    There is a blonde woman out in a corn field sitting in a rowboat. Another blonde drives by and gets pissed off and says " its blondes like you that make the rest of us look stupid, if i had my bathing suit i would come out there and kick your ass!"

    Jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land.
     
  15. missedit

    missedit Member

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    These jokes are fregging great!! Tha baby ones make me feel a little bad inside, but I still laugh :p
     
  16. AT98BooBoo

    AT98BooBoo Senior Member

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    How do you fix a woman's watch?

    Watch she doesn't need a watch there's usually a clock on the stove.

    What do Wal Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have boys pants half off.

    What does Budweiser and sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking next to water.
     
  17. missedit

    missedit Member

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    Okay there's a blonde chick, she's really depressed so she goes and gets rope and finds a big tree in a park, while she was hanging a guy walks by and asks "what are you doing?" she replies, "well I had the rope around my neck but I couldn't breathe, so I put it around my waist instead".

    a guy walks in one morning for work and has really red cheeks, a friend asked him "why are your cheeks so red?" the man replies "I was giving my wife oral last night and I got rug-burn" ha ha I made that one up... I think :p
     
  18. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

    lick-a-lot-a-pus
     
  19. missedit

    missedit Member

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    Lmao that joke never gets old to me.
     
  20. Drakor

    Drakor Member

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    What do you call two lesbians on their period?
    Finger-painters.
     

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