The (New) Thread of LIES!!!

I have two hearts and can travel through time

 

my web just busted and now i gottta spin another one...

 

OMG, I just became transparent....;-)

 

If I flap my ears hard enough I can fly.

 

I got blisters on my hands from takin a walk upside down...;-)

 

i just polished off a rack of dino ribs...

 

I just helped Debbie do Dallas....;-)

 

i have atleast three bodies chopped up in my freezer... a shin bone is defrosting right now for a stew i'm making later...

 

When there's a full moon I get naked and howl at it...

 

I have pet bats that I dress up in cute clothes.

 

My hubby likes to wear my undies...

 

I buy all my underwear used at garage sales.

 

I am a Mormon.

 

Mormons are great lovers

 

i just dipped my nose in bitumen... gonna have a bath in it later...

 

I going to sleep out in the barn tonight...

 

an boeing 747 just did a loop the loop and missed my balcony by inches

 

I took my bath this morning down in the creek...

 

if i run out of toothpaste, there's always piles of rat shit down near the bins, which brings them up sparkling a right treat...

 

Well poop, I just swallowed my keyboard....;-)