The (New) Thread of LIES!!!

I just drank a gallon of red wine...;-)

 

If you were a carpenter, and I were a lady, I'd tell you to kiss my ass you peasant,

 

I really hope these other cars I have never sell...they make such great yard ornaments

 

At midnight I turn into a werewolf!

 

I changed the oil in my car, and replaced it with brain fluid.

 

When I change the oil in my car I use salad dressing...

 

I just took a sleigh ride off the hill in the nude on a piece of cardboard....;-)

 

I have the pictures to prove it^^^....

 

I just regurgitated a trumpet.

 

I just lost my trumpet.

 

When I catch the mouse in the attic, I'm going to have it for dinner...

 

Keep me some! Anyways it's not a problem, mice are so huge they could feed an entire family of starving papus.

 

I love working in the cold ...its great for the bones

 

"In no way is it possible for a person to be in two places at the same time, especially if there is a great distance in between."

 

Im looking foreward to cutting off my dreadies for my new job!!

 

I love being in debt.

 

I'm a real go-getter!

 

My hair is perfectly combed.

 

my hair is growing back really thick

 

I have six pack abs