The Ultimate "Make an absurd accusation about the poster above" thread!

Goes to work with the flu because his paid sick days are for hangovers.

 

Does not realise just important I am,or that the whole thing would collapse if I were to take just ONE day away. But she DOES look good in leather-so,forgiven.

 

gets enough work holidays

 

Doesn't care that I have NEVER had a holiday from work-other than Christmas 2 days every 2nd year.

 

would not love ta get more time off than that

 

Took a day off work in revenge to laugh all day about poos & farts.

 

Laughs,knowing that on Christmas day I'm at work blowing kisses toward Ireland.....

 

could actually handle the passion of an irish kiss

 

Worked as an extra playing an orc on Lord of the Rings without make-up

 

is really bilbo baggins

 

Is the queen of the Donnelly sausage-and-bacon breakfast cooks.

 

Right.


The previous poster

- Shot the Archduke in 1914

- is Jack the Ripper

- Framed the Birmingham 6

- Faked the moonlanding

- Has an alien from Roswell living in his kitchen

- Killed Kennedy AND Jack Rubenstein

- Dressed up as Monica Lewinski to frame Clinton

- Started the Great Fire of London

- Caused the tsunami and subsequent nuclear fallout in Japan

- Stole my lunch money when I was a kid

- Seduced my mother while my dad was at work

- Is personally responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer, the destruction of the rainforests, global warming and the extinction of every vanishing species since 1368

- Has the solution to all environmental catastrophes but won't share

 

Got a problem with that?

As you can see-'Ivory' [it's actually cheap discoloured plastic] likes to make a Dutch Oven of his duvet and listen to himself farting.

AND let down tyres on ambulances.

AND invented the electric pineapple.

AND sews the sleeves shut on old ladies blouses just to confuse them.

AND collects dogshit to make burgers with.

AND paints all traffic lights green at junctions.

AND got arrested for shoplifting in a charity shop.

AND can't spell Moose.

AND gave his lunch money to Daphne Johnson to show him her knickers.

AND pissed in the font at the Vatican.

AND mooned at Mother Theresa.

NASTY little man!

 

Put more thought & effort into these thread answers than he'd ever do in school or IRL.

(which I love) :2thumbsup:

 

loves me and puggybear. Which is absurd. I mean, he looks OK, but I look like braised dog vomit.

 

Knows me too well, I surely luvs both yall. :love:

Besides it's what's on the inside that truely counts.

(inside of your wallet this is) J/K

 

HIM? Braised?
I was thinking more of 'Been whacked around with a rolling-pin to tenderise the stringy old dosser'...but the dog vomit?

Oh-you POSER!

I look like a cowpat from a heifer with piles that even the flies refuse to land on!

Which means you're PRETTIER than me-so,muhhh!

[and oxy-my wallet is emptier than Ivory's mind-and you can hear echoes in there-ere-ere-ere]

 

Is prettier than the love-child of Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, Leonardo diCaprio, Elle McPherson, Miranda Kerr and Jennifer Hawkins.

 

Umm-yes,I have actually heard of two of those.
Apparently they do 'acting',yes?
Or,to put it another way-spend their time pretending they're somebody else.

Well,I'm ME-warts,green teeth,hunch,limp,bad breath,squint and all.

TAKE me,I'm yours!

 

Is clearly channelling me