The Ultimate "Make an absurd accusation about the poster above" thread!

Has some very unusual rosebushes

 

Ah,but one aphorised rosebush doth not a summer make....as he VERY well knows!

 

Has discovered the true meaning of life

 

Always looks on the briiiiiight siiiide of life......

 

Is exactacacalacaly right

 

Will forgive moi for having to nip off at this juncture-will pine for me,natch....but he'll bear up in manly fashion.

 

Thou leavest me? How canst I bear the pain?:svengo: Wilst forthwith cause me to expire

 

Let your heart be at peace fair sir-for yea,I dos't return,having commanded yonder peasants and explained the tasks beset them,and verily doth the sound of toiling peasantry play tuneful melodies upon mine soul.

 

Fair maiden! Thine peasantry dost obey thy every command, supplying forthwith the needs of thine estate-we collectively dost rejoice with thee!

 

T'is most kind,good sir.
Indeed,the sounds I abhor are those of peasantry not engaged in toilsome duties.
Indeed these creatures of low-born stature doth sully mine eyes with their very presence and t'is for the sake of mine sullied senses that tasks be set them which taketh such loathsome and infragrant snipes beyond the pale of my firmament.

 

Indeed, the very sight of slothful peasantry is an eyesore and irritation beyond measure. Behold how the sound of their toil doth give joy to our countenance.

 

Forget not,good sir,the joyous sound of 'Ker-ching' as the toils of such scum bringeth guineas unto mine coffers....

 

Guineas! The mammon of iniquity, who, befriending them, henceforth will one day welcome us into their abodes

 

Alas sir,for mine is indeed the humblest of abodes. Indeed,e'en as my gaze wanders o'er the pastures and woodlands I espy from this point of vantage,being as I am,ensconced here in the garret of the western episode of this castle I fain to call home,the meagre acreage 'pon which my rule extends doth not abound more than four-and-twenty hours ride in any direction. Oh WOE is me,that such paltry encumbrances should be knowns't unto you as mine home,good sir!

 

Fret not, fair maiden-for inasmuch as thine abode is humble in the earthly realm, how much more canst thou expect to receive an eternal recompense? Indeed!

 

Thinkest thou God would grant entry unto the Eternal Realm to such as I?

 

O Lady of Humble Estate! Dost thou not know that the Lord hath said that He shall exalt the humble and yet shall humble the proud? Watch and wait therefore, for He cometh with vengeance in His wings!

 

God.......FLIES?

 

Oh, my Lady-behold! The Lord only flies as a figure, as it were, as if to say that He quickens those that abase themselves!

 

Egad!
T'is wearysome we become,fair Sir Bob-for indeed doth this be the 'make an absurd' thread!

I charge myself with the onerous task of reaffirming this thread unto it's rightful duties.


[ahem]


Bob doth wear sweaty armour!