The wank each other off and make each other feel good about ourselves thread

Wankalicious

 

its true

 

You must've already known that... I make so many sex jokes in RL.

I really am.
kk I'm not that bright but I don't mind.

 

So would I.
Uh.. wait a minute..

Nah.. I'd still hit it. Damn the paradoxes or problems!!

 

oh my god the universe just folded in on itself and lions lay down with lambs and chickens with battery farm workers, neitzche and jesus shook hands, angels had an orgy and heaven and hell merged into an eternal black hole.

Such is the result of Jaitaiyai's paradoxical thoughts.

 

Ivy isn't in this thread, no need for big writing.

You told the story wrong. The lambs ate all lions. Then they got hungry and died out, because of this various animals on the grasslands began to overbreed and all the grass was eaten. This meant the soil dryed out and the top layer was blown away. The ground is now unfertile. It began to crack and soon imps that had been trapped down in the Earth's core got out and enslaved the whole animal kingdom. These imps then evolved into humans. Turns out I went back in time to have the thought.

After that Chickens started farming battery workers. Course, no one wants to eat crap so they soon went out of business. They got all the batt. workers and put them in a bag before dumping them in a lake. The workers may or may not have had mad sex before they died, the coroner could not tell from their wrinkled remains.

Neitzche and Jesus didn't shake hands but were actually in a thumb war, Jesus won and began to gloat about it when Neit grabbed a section of his hair and began to pull. God realising the commotion stormed over and broke up the fight. After finding out the cause of the argument he ordered both Neit and Jesus 100 hours of community work each. Neit went to the angels and Jesus went to the children.

Neit was then at the Angels dormitory tidying up when he saw a few female angels in the corner discussing the physical properties of sperical chickens in a vacum... Well the rest is history. I shan't go into detail there.

While this was all going on Lucifer finished watching the latest episode of Desperate Housewives and went to see what the fuss was about. He got the windows update on what had happened so far and in shock fainted. Unforunately he fell on the button seperating Heaven and Hell. They merged, not producing a black hole, but instead creating Wales.

The end.

p.s. your face.

 

If I didn't have to go to work I would try to attempt to reply to that, no matter how inferior my attempt might be. Do you play an instrument? Do you want to join my band, "happy fetus"?

 

LOL, wales. I just read that and laughed.

 

LOL


I only wanted to add this thread went on far too long without further comment about Zillas wondrous penis.

 

no one ever wanks me off

 

her penis is pretty fucking amazing, i'm not gonna lie

 

I play guitar so yes I would like to join. You can never have enough Pirates in a band, unless its over five.. thats probably too many.

 

Your big black one's not too bad either.

 

it does make my mom proud

 

Don't tell me you showed her before you showed me!

 

no, i just show her the videos of me fucking people in the bum

 

Thats okay then.

 

I am jealous of your big black dick
Tell me is mine as nice as yours?



(I just had to post it again-before I put it away)

 

Alas, yours isn't black. *shakes head*

 

here's me slapping my friend jo in the face with it


the one of me with it dangling is too hard for me to post right now
and i'm in no fucking mood to do anything hard, unless the hard thing is an actual penis