Things only a stoner would say...

"WHO TIPPED THE FUCKING BILLY?"
-My ex-roommate's catchphrase

"Blocked."
-Everybody

"Usually I see the sky with diamonds, but this time I'm seeing the stairway to Heaven... you laced this shit?"
-Me the other day

 

holy shit, really?

 

Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

 

my friend said hes all for legalization.he doesnt want that foriegn shit weed,he wants to see "made in america" on his bag.

 

.

 

..

 

my boss - "so why are you taking a break from smoking?"

"I can't remember, I had a good reason though."

 

This isn't a quote, but every time I loose my lighter, I stand up to look for it and it hits the floor. It's in my lap every time but I can't find it there...

 

I can't remember where I put my lighter, ohh yeah it's in my bra. lol that happened to me

 

Now I'll never forget where you put your lighter. If you ever loose it give me a call.

 

My wife saying "Opps my bad" and then gigiling after coughing into the pipe and blowing the last of our smoke all over the yard. Last time I'm a gentleman and letting her take the first hit.

 

"It's natural man, so its way more safer"

"Acid melts your brain"

"Mushrooms make your brain bleed"

"X puts holes in your brain"

"Shit yo! I have a melted brain with holes in it! AND it's bleeding?! But I thought mushrooms were most safest because they are natural?"

 

lol, I was going with my sister some where, and I was in a rush and just got done smoking, and I had all this stuff in my hand, and I didn't know where to put my bowl and lighter I stuck the bowl in my draw and not thinking I put the lighter in my bra, I was gone for hours and when I got home I couldn't find it, and latter it came to me, I felt my chest and their it was. I sometimes do that, I will get high and paniced and not know where to hide my stuff and sometime I put it their

 

Do they still make funions?

 

Damn straight they do, got a bag in the cupboard.