This is the funniest shit I've ever seen

I wank for the virgin mary instead of jesus cos I'm not a gay.

There are solutions people. Seek and ye shall find.

 

id fuck it

 

My new sexual fantasy involves hate fucking Ann Coulter while Christine O'donnell watches and masturbates. It is weird that I am politically repulsed by both women but find them physically very attractive. They probably both want to hand me a bar of soap and march me to the shower.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

How many posts by me have you read that make me sound like I'm "Gods gift to women" anyway. When I was in school I was about as attractive as a shaved Chimp. For the most part I don't approach women for 2 reasons. One, I have a fiancee. Two other than being an OK conversationalist I don't have much to offer. I work 7 days a week and am normally exhausted and don't get paid worth a shit. Since I've moved to the Bay area with the exception of the last 3 years since I've been in a relationship I have been bouncing from temp gig to temp gig and youth hostel to youth hostel and bringing home a girlfriend there is like bringing a date to the monkey house at the zoo. I've fractured my wrist twice which led me to really loving vicodin and quitting by going cold turkey. Ever do that? You should try it sometime. And on top of all of that I'm pretty much a 35 year old adolescent. But all in all I am pretty happy being by myself. So you wanna fuck or not?

As for the human mating ritual both women and men (myself included) do incredibly stupid shit to get laid and it starts in adolescence. Stuffing, shaving, high heeled shoes, cosmetics, perfumes and don't even start with me on hair do's. I'm sure that you have some quasi emberrasing highschool photos that you look at and say "What the hell was I thinking?" when the actual reason you did it was to attract the opposite sex. In all it is pretty moronic. If you truely want to observe the stupidity of the human mating ritual go to a bar without drinking. After doing all of that shit to make sure you look good you go to a dark room to try to attract somebody. Then if you are lucky you find somebody else in said dark room that you find attractive in almost no light to take home. You have no chance of winning them with conversation since usually the place is so loud and you are so drunk that intelligent conversation is impossible anyway so you have to go on body language. Then if you are lucky you get to go home with them and hope to christ there isn't enough light that they can see through all of the bullshit you've done to yourself to hide your flaws. Then daybreak comes along your makeup is smeared the sun comes up and all of a sudden Brad Pitt turns into Jo Jo the dogfaced boy and what you hoped would at least be a decent conversation turns into a man who talks like English is his second language. All of a sudden he gets tired of the fart that he has just held for the last 12 hours just to impress you and lets go the nastiest stream of gas that you have ever smelled. You search your mind for a plausable excuse to get the fuck out of there and save face. You trade phone numbers and email addresses that neither of you plan to use then it's off for the sunday morning walk of shame. Hung over with your panties in your purse. Then you go out the next weekend hoping for better luck.



Peace Out,
Rev J

 

lol. Honesty is the best policy.

This reminded of that Seinfeld episode where George is unemployed and living at home. So he starts doing everything the opposite of how he'd normally do things, and things get better for him. When he approaches the woman...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY"]YouTube - George Costanza Does The Opposite

 

Well, here is one

and here's another

And these are just from this thread. Plus just calling a woman you don't even know "honey" implies much the same thing.

But forgive me! Maybe I read too much into those posts.

I think I would prefer the mating ritual you so cynically describe to this direct approach.

 

As for the first quote you used. You seem to believe I think I'm gods gift to women because 3 girls I wasn't interested in gave me the same look for months before approaching me about a romantic relationship (and a couple that I did have romantic "things" with). The thing with little girls arching back wards so their breasts enter the room a half a second before they do. Combined that when hormones kick in we are all little horndogs doesn't make me the type who believes they are "Gods gift to women" they make me observant.

The comment about the soap was a reference to World War II when an "undesireable" first got to a concentration camp they were given a bar of soap, marched to the shower and gassed. I also hear gay men call women honey all the time. Plus I'm getting a little old so I naturallly want to call everybody honey.

As for the wanna fuck line. I think it was fairly obvious I was being facetious.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

It was mutual facetiousness I'm sure you know. But I do apologize for unjustified conclusions on my part. Truce?

 

i'm kinda digging you reverend.A night in a youth hostel with a vicodin junkie? heaven.

so is this christine odonnell woman the same one that was in the news for saying she practiced witchcraft in high school?

 

I think I want to share this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0Bw6MgaXOc"]YouTube - Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want a Man Like Me (subtítulos en español)

At Amyoxyl Truce.

At Meliai: Trust me it isn't as sexy as Hugh Laurie makes it out to be. Christine O'donnell won't even admit to Masturbating I doubt that she would admit to witchcraft. Oh well.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Fiance(es) are such a pack of wankers.

 

I stand corrected on the Witchcraft thing. I guess she said that she had a date that ended with a "Picnic on a Satanic Altar," that "Had dried blood on it."

I'm calling bullshit on that. Like any good Christian Fundamentalist she doesn't know the difference between Witchcraft and Satanism. After talking philosophy with Satanists and Wiccans I can say with no uncertainty that neither religion practices ritualistic sacrifice. I think she want's to look like a "bad girl" to the young hip crowd even though she is a square.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

I am one selfish basturd

 

On a semi related note Sex Advice columnist Dan Savage is encouraging people to masturbate to images or videos of Christine Odonnell until the election. I think this may actually help to keep her out of office almost like sex magic. Cum on kids admit it she is a cutie. I think fantasy works too.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Saving the day! with sex!

 

She's just this years Sara Palin. The media needs some bimbo female to distract people from the fat government dick that's being firmly planted in our collective ass.