This isn't another lies thread

I once voted for Mrs Thatcher

 

I never fantasize about Mrs Thatcher.

 

I can't even remember who Mrs Thatcher was

(it's the dementia, you understand ...)

 

i can't see this girls punani?

 

I believe you, Fairlight

 

I believe in everything

 

I don't laugh so hard coffee comes out my nose.

A lady would never do that.

 

i was one of the original carebears

 

I'm a weeble

 

I'm married to nogin the nog, from nogland.

 

Super models are constantly knocking on my door for a date.

 

I am a supermodel constantly knocking on your door for a date.

 

I am your door and I haven't seen a supermodel in years.

 

I'm a world-famous brain surgeon

 

i was one of the original ninja turtles before they were famous

 

i'm a tortoise

 

I'm not drunk on my after work cocktails. And I'm not horny as hell.

 

I've never had a drink.

 

i used to drink goat pee to help train for a beer drinking contest

 

I've never stood outside our apartment building in the winter wearing nothing but a trench coat and flashed my man long enough for him to take a pic.