but it isnt assuming if you know they had loads of partners, if they have they have. Is guilt the same as regret? Some things I wish I hadnt done but I dont feel guilty about them lol just regret them.
This is what you said. This is what I responded to. You shouldn't assume she hasn't been with many people. You should take it with a grain of salt either way. He should avoid doing something he will feel guilty about. Or regret, however you wanna look at it. It's just one of those things you don't do. Case closed.
IMO the question itself tells that you know the answer. I mean, you're already risking to miss the chance. I don't think an unfaithful person would hesitate nor show regret unless caught.
My advice - leave her. Your values are very different. And after you leave her, go on a sex bender. Fuck around till its out of your system. As for cheating - most people do it in some way or another. It's forbidden, taboo so can be exhilarating in its own way. However, don't expect public applause.
Don't cheat - you have no idea of the emotional damage infidelity can cause. Want to know more - go to www.survivinginfidelity.com. Spend some time reading both the just found out forum and the wayward side forum. Cheating is not worth it. If you can't go your life without more experiences - tell you GF. It may end the relationship - but it will do so with far less damage than cheating will.
An ethical man knows it's wrong to sleep with a woman other than his wife. A moral man doesn't do it at all.
I agree with this. Why do you argue about this? Perhaps you bring it up too much. It really shouldn't bother you. It is very common to have a few sexual partners before you meet the right one and I guess for now you are the right one for her, so be happy! Stop hassling her about it. With regards to the cheating, it's not worth ruining a good three year relationship for. Have you always been concerned about this throughout? Or is it only a recent thought? I think you're making a rash decision over something that doesn't matter too much. Are you even attracted to this woman? If it was a spontaneous night it'd be different but the fact you're preempting it is a bit worrying. It's natural to be curious about getting with other people especially if you've only been with one or two in your life, but cheating just to even the score say is a bit... childish, yeah. She didn't cheat on you, she was just living her life before she met you. It's a bit harsh that you are even considering this. If you want to be serious with this girl I suggest not cheating but if you want some time to explore your sexual side then perhaps talk to her about it (although you know her and you should know whether she'll welcome the idea or not). I really don't think it's worth it. I don't think you'd want to cheat if she hadn't of slept with more people than you. Trust me, it doesn't matter. I personally like the idea of being with a man who hasn't put it about, but I wouldn't feel inadequate if he has been all over the place before me. Cos like the above poster said, it's about the relationship now. Sorry rambling dot com. Hope that makes sense and helps a bit!
If it is going to affect your conscience so badly that it makes you crazy, dont go thru with it. Now if she was cheating on you or treating you badly, that is a different story. I know I have slept with someone else recently b/c my husband treats me like dirt, like I am nothing to him and that hurts. Not saying I am right but it didnt kill my conscience due to the fact that my husband sucks. Just dont do anything that is going to haunt you.