To take LSD with your kid or not?

Yeah I can agree with most of the statement but may I add, why change (in the general sense) to meet others needs? If the person does not have a certain quality, introduce it, yeah, but if they are naturally against it, having them change to accept it could be kind of bugging on their side. If you get my idea here anyway. Relationships seem to work out best when you can be whoever you are by default.

 

all relationships are about give and take. you will be asked to change and you will ask them to change - it is all about becoming better people. we can always learn to be better people and make others happier without sacrificing who we are.

i love my wife and she loves me the same. we both have changed a lot in the time we have known each other and we have each other to thank. neither one of us were willing to just accept each other as is with no change. we both expected more from one and other and we are both thankful as we have both become better people not just for each other but for everyone we know.

 

If you really love that person you will change. And the oposite. Mostly you don't have to change completly but some things you will change. And maybe they look big to you now but when it comes to love you would die for it. That's kind of love I'm talking about. 3xi and I are telling you this from personal experiences. You can't expect to stay "mr. perfect in your eyes" and everybody around you to change.
But we are off subject now.

 

And I'm telling you from personal experience aswell, I've seen couples that loved eachother but had their arguments, when they tried changing to avoid the argument in a weeks time things would get shitty again, and it was a repeating pattern. (After two years of this they are finally broken up, but the love is still there and probably will be for a while). I see this happen for many couples where the love is pretty much there and strong. My cousin changed almost 100% and his girlfriend now pretty much controls him, mainly a manipulative relationship in a sense. I don't believe in the idea that if you really love somebody you would change, people can really love eachother, but some things people need to make a mutual agreement on rather than trying to change who they are. That's kind of wrong like saying, "If you really love me, you would do this." But I do get what you mean by "not completely change", but differences are apparent in some of the people I speak of. For me when I was in a relationship usually the changes were unvoluntary, and usually done at her discretion. And yeah we are off topic, but I've made my point on the subject already. For me when people have liked me before it was mainly because of who I was and how I was, but when the time came to discuss other philosophies and opinions, differences were obvious, but doesn't exactly mean a grounds for change should occur.

 

I think I am getting what you are trying to say, in most cases that you expirienced YOU were the one who was supposed to change and other person somehow didn't want or didn't see the reason why to change. I want to remind you that for love you need 2 people and BOTH of them need to love to give, and in that case there is nothing BOTH person will not do to make their partner happy. If one is not willing to do that, obviously thats why you saw many couples brake apart. Nobody is telling you that you need to change completly, as than it wouldn't be you, but what we ment is to change some habits that are irritating your partner, like leaving hear on the soup, or similar stupit things. Why wouldn't you clean the hear from the soup if you know that's irritating your partner, and even if you start cleaning it, it would still be you, that wouldn't change you at all!

 

Changes in the sense of taking care of yourself, and
being able to take care of another person when the
need is there is about all that should initially change,
should a relationship be started.
If love exists and two different personalities then
that is healthy, people will change naturally, but
should not be asked to change (Im talking in terms
of subtle personality traits, interests, hobbies, etc.
not dramatic indulgences and obsessions) in order to
satisfy the other person. That's just simply unfair
and also a controlling aspect of a relationship that
unless fixed will definitley ruin things eventually.
Changing someone is a form of possesiveness.
If someone has no interest in God, or in spritiuality,
or in psychedelics, you cant change them. You can
talk to them about it, and you can share your experiences
for the sake of conversation, but to expect someone
to change is only setting yourself up to be hurt.
People will accept ceratin aspects of themselves when
they are ready to do so, and it is no one's place to
rush that natural process.
Also, when you are in a "to die for" relationship and
you find out your girl or your man has been getting
acquainted with other men or girls intimatley, you have to be
able to handle that seperation and keep love alive in
your heart. Basically what I mean by that is that you
can never truly know wether or not someone loves you the
way you love them, no matter what you think in your head.
Everybody lies at some point in their lives, its just
something we all have to accept. But to be able to love
without depending on or relying on another humans beings
love in return is what its all about.
I would never change for anyone in any sense other than
becoming more responsible and hospitable to a persons
needs. But to change me, personally? Cant do it. God is
number 1 in my life and everything else comes after
(at the same rate I see God in everyone so its simply
a mattter of acknowledging the divinity of an individuals
soul before acknowledging their personality in my case)
For me, I am striving for liberation from samskara as
well as being a best father that I can be, and anything
or anyone else in my life comes 2nd to this position I've
adopted. And that's just how I am, and I will not change
that because I only answer to God. No one else should
have judgement to add nor detract from anyone's personality.

 

I think it happens naturally too and it shouldnt be a change of the personality, because then you are not really in love with the person if you are expecting them to change who they are.

 

wow, what a horrible outlook. to think that i should doubt my wifes love for me because like you say people lie all the time.

well - if someone is not being honest with you they will not be able to love you. and when you are in love with someone it is actually very obvious when you are loved back. if someone you know loves you, you cant miss it.

so to say that you can never truly know if someone loves you is bullshit and only suggests that you have never truly been in love. i feel sorry for you then.

when love is flowing between two people - both of them know without a doubt that they are loved.

i understand where you are making the mistake. i have been in many relationships where i thought i was loved back when the girl was only infatuated with me. usually i would catch them in a lie and find out that they never did love me (they only said they did). so it is very easy for people to convince themselves that they are in love and loved back when that is not actually the way it is because people are not capable of being honest so they cant love. but when you do find someone that is honest and capable of loving you it is very obvious. hard to understand until it happens to you. if you are an honest person who is capable of loving the truth about the other person will always become obvious.

if you think that you can never know for sure if someone loves you back than you have never been loved. i would actually go as far to say that you probably didnt love them either - if you did love them the truth about their inabilities to love you back would have been very clear.(you would eventually catch them in a lie like i did)

 

First off, I never said people lie "all the time", I said everyone
lies at some point in their life if you never have then please,
by all means, throw a stone lol.
Second, I wasnt directly talking about you and your wife dude
stop taking things to heart. Obviously if you trusted and knew
your wife loved you so deeply you wouldnt have gotten all up
in my grill kid.
And also, no, there IS NO WAY that you are a mind reader,
and love changes, people move on with their lives and
there is no way to be 100%, without a doubt, totally positively
sure that your wife loves you. The only way to know is to have
proof through means of expired time.
When all is said and down, will she love you until at least one
of you is dead? Until then, you have to trust instinct and her
words, not your mind reading abilities.

Also, thanks for telling me that I have never experienced love, I
guess your mentality is so locked down and powerfuly accurate
that you can give mind readings over the internet? And free of
charge!

 

like i said you have never been in love... it is obvious

 

And his wealth of knowledge of my personal life
is so overwhelming that there is no doubt in this
statement, fellow forumers
No one should ever doubt 3xi, he KNOWS whats
in your head!

 

relayer just said himself that you can never actually know if someone loves you. then he goes on to tell me that i am wrong when i say he has never been loved. but if you could never tell if you are loved how does he know that he ever was?

 

Once again, another mistake made by your holiness.
I never said that you claimed I was never loved, I
said that you some how KNOW that I, Me, PERSONALLY,
have never LOVED ANOTHER BEING.
Read it again 3xi, this time form the letters in your
mouth to get a feel for english.

 

i never said that you have never loved another human being. maybe you should go back and read.


i said you have never been in love. as far as i am aware being in love is when two people love eachother.

 

Oh rly? Whats this then? A party invitation? pppffff

 

looks like i said "probably" and then i go on to say "if you did" suggesting that it is possible that you did love them. going buy what you say i am only to assume that you did eventually find out that girls were not being honest with you. i am guessing that is why you have this obscure understanding of love.

honestly if i was to guess i would say that you are more likely to be the one who does love. it is most likely you being hurt by someone who doesnt know how. but there is also a good chance that even you dont know what love is. if i didnt know you to be someone who believes that we should love even the people who dont love us back i would assume that you have never loved.

you said that i said something completely different than what i actually said.

 

Completley different?! haha
So, if I were to say that, your wife is "probably" a fat whore
who "might" have no love for you, and then go on to say
that "if she did" fuck all your friends behind your back, would
that mean that I never said "your wife is a fat whore who
has no love for you and fucks your friends behind your back?

Go hug your wife

 

wow, you are really upset eh?

i guess i can understand how it might upset you to know that there are people in the world who can enjoy the comforts of being IN love.

i just talked to my wife. she called me from work just to talk and say she loves me. i told her about what you said - she laughed and said "poor guy".

the difference between you and i is - i want you to have love in your life like i do, that is why i said what i said. - you obviously do not want me to be happy with my life or you wouldnt have said what you said.

i want love to come to you. somehow you turned it around to think that i am insulting you. no man - you dont have to be lonely the rest of your life. you can have the love you so desire. and trust me - you will know when you find it. ya cant miss it. thats what is so amazing about love.

 

Im so glad your wife also known enough about me to form
the opinion that im a 'poor guy' hahaha
And good thing she's got your back bro, she sounds like a
real team player! :whip:
Stop trying to avoid the reality that you told me I've never
been in love and then tried to claim you never made said
claim. You are wrong, no matter how many "probablys" you
throw up in some junk it doesnt take away from the fact
that you still said that, which means that you are making
assumptions based off of absolutley nothing, hence, the
mind reading comment.

 

it has nothing to do with reading minds. anyone who thinks it is impossible to know when someone loves you has never been in love. i dont have to read your mind buddy - you just told me how you see it. i made a conclusion based on what you said.