Useful Things To Do With A Dead Person

Practice CPR on them.

 

leave it in your car 24/7



as a wallet guard

 

drag it behind your mountain bike so you gain more strength from your daily riding.

 

Feed it to the wood beast

 

pass them around a concert..

 

Finally win an argument!

 

hang a few off your boat as dock cushions.

 

Shove your hand up it's chuff and do an 'Achmed the Dead Terrorist' impression.

 

Good for arts and craft class to make great wind chimes.

 

sell to mc donalds... the customers won't know the difference in their burger...

 

Start your own maggot farm.

 

political commentator on cable TV

 

Test your tattooing skills before opening your own parlour.

 

donate vital organs to sick people, saving lives.

 

aw thats nice^

 

How about a dead skunk?

I just got to fish one out of my neighbors duck pond, which had apparently been there 2 days or so.... nice and green tinged with mold and whatnot...... smelled pretty great, too.

It didn't seem to bother the duck at all, I first saw it while the duck was ass-up next to it, and I was trying to figure out why there were TWO duck asses in the pond, before figuring it out.

By pond, I mean high sided rubbermaid container sunk in the ground to playcate the duck while indoor water is changed and its area cleaned up.

Easily the most exciting thing that's happened while I've watched peoples animals...

 

Use as a hostest at a club...

 

use as a sparring partner!

 

Practice anal sex until you get good at it...

 

Someone to blame the pot on when the law shows up.

Unless you killed them. In which case you should probably just take responsibility for the pot before they find the cadaver.