My only thing is, I feel like the characters were rushed... I noticed from watching TV, a lot of times the first episode has something new going on (Scrubs had JD starting at the hospital, That 70s had them meeting Fez, etc. etc.), I think this helps the introduction of the characters go more smoothly. Or maybe a bit more narration would help out instead. (That seems to be how comics tend to introduce new ideas.) Maybe even an episode dedicated to introducing the characters would help, if you're not inclined to not doing it.
Yeah, I understand what you're getting at. I think the thing is that I did in fact rush the first few pages of the comic. I wasn't actually intending on starting a comic, but I just started something and it kind of turned into one. Now that I'm actually taking this more seriously, I've sat down and thought about the characters more, as well as the plot. Like you suggested, I am actually going to have a couple of comics in which the characters just talk more, open up a little and help the reader to get a better idea of what kind of people they are (I think I mentioned this in my previous post). I'm going to do a little update today after which I'll write a couple of comics which develop these guys a little more. Hopefully the characters won't seem so rushed in the next few comics or so, but please keep letting me know what you think while being HONEST! I don't mind criticism, as long as it is helpful, and not too mean Thanks for the tips though They'll come in handy
^ Yeah, I know what you mean, I have problems with getting constructive criticism on my writing (link in sig if you're much of a reader ). A lot of people are too nice to say anything negative or afraid that people won't listen to the negative things they do have to say. And then, the people that will say something negative, tend to put it in such a mean way that you don't want to listen to it =P
Heh, yeah it can be fairly annoying I guess. I will take a look at your story sometime when I get a chance And thanks for your criticism - it has been very helpful I mean it when I say that I'm going to keep what you said in mind. Hopefully you'll notice in the coming comics Updating in about 45 mins or so...Gotta eat supper first though Just need to add speech bubbles...
You seem to work really fast. I am horrible at dedicating myself to my writing. If you keep at it, you could go far.
Heh, I'm not that fast. I'm just on holiday so I have a hell of a lot of free time. I'll slow down when I'm back at school. Here's the next comic(s):
Not sure why Page 3 was so dark. I was doing it on my laptop and may have had the screen at a funny angle so it appeared lighter than it actually was. Sorry for the second post in a row, but I couldn't get my cursor below my third pic >_<
*Woo!* Characters developing a little more? After this, they're off to hit the drink at the bar, tell each other about themselves, and hopefully some humour will come of it
Would it be weird if I found one of my own characters rather attractive ? I've got more coming sometime in the next few days or so...thanks for the support so far. Just another thing: I've just written the next 8 or so pages of the comic Hopefully it turns out well and the characters seem slightly more "full" once they're complete. Will post them gradually over the coming weeks.
One of my early characters was a grey colored wolf-cross-Lioness with sad blue eyes In her jungle world, I took the form of a cheetah. We would pounce and roll about together in a jungle paradise. We were very much in love.
Oh come on - he's hardly the third wheel. There's a reason for why he drinks so much. Don't know if you noticed, but I acknowledged you somewhere in this comic
I see that I'm the sign adjacent to the dude's room. I also see the "sick rooms" sign. Can't quite make out all the writing but it's best to leave something to the imagination anyway. I'm honored... validation in what could well become woven into the fabric of pop culture. My "third wheel" reference was because the girl seems a tad more interested in the other dude... notwithstanding that there are a few rather awkward points in the conversation. It's already been established that the one dude couldn't possibly be less interested in women and the thinner dude's preferences may or may not be women though he's shown a less than smooth manner with this girl who asks for his number anyway.
Well the sign says: "Stinkfoot Beer: Now 99% faecal coli free!". I'm glad you feel honoured by it I thought I'd have to thank you somehow Yeah, its been established that Duke is a raging homo. Pete is meant to be straight actually. Panel 4 wasn't intended actually - it just happened and looked funny so I left it. Hopefully it'll imply he is in fact interested in women and not men. Hope you like it.
That's very good because I actually make it a point to avoid beers that are mostly free of feces. Now if the beer brand were say, "Schittz" the case may be different... Often the best comedy is accidental as it doesn't come across as forced.
