What are your thoughts on marriage?

Is it a good thing? Depends on the circumstances. If people are marrying out of love and know what it entails and are prepared to make that commitment sincerely then it most definitely is.

Should marriage be abolished? No.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? because people give up to easily when something goes wrong, because they don't communicate how they feel to their partner or what's bothering them, people don't respect each other as much as they used to, and it's a hell of a lot easier than it was say 50 60 years ago to go and get a divorce.

Would you want kids? Definitely.

What are some good reasons for divorce? Infedelity, abuse of any sort, violence, dishonesty.

 

Is it a good thing? yes

Should marriage be abolished? no

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? people either rush into it or don't try to work it out, instead they just break it off instead of trying to solve the problems.

Would you want kids? yes

What are some good reasons for divorce? infidelity or being lied to and not being able to trust the other person.

 

Is it a good thing? If it's what the parties involved want, yes. Marriage can work or it can't work. It takes two.

Should marriage be abolished? No. It should be amended, yes. To fit the needs of EVERYONE.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? The value of marriage died with chivalry. People don't take marriage as seriously because it's so much easier to get out of. There are so many more tempations, from the way I've heard older generations talk, than there were 50 or so years ago.

Would you want kids? Since when do you have to be married to have kids?

What are some good reasons for divorce? I don't really think there are good reasons. If you vow to love, honor and obey someone until death do you part, you should honor those vows and make it work. Making 'rules' like that would sure cut out on the 'Just for fun' marriages a lot of people are doing now-days.

 

But at the same time, there is such a thing as abuse ...
And don't you HATE the word "obey"?

 

That's why you marry a MAN, not a boy.
And, no, I don't.
I guess I'm pretty old fashioned on the whole marriage scale.

 

I guess I have never met a MAN, then -- except my mother's father, but that was a long time ago.

I don't think there is anything wrong with marriage, just people's expectations of marriage. (There is probably something with my opinion of it, too, by the way, before anyone can come off of this thinking I think I'm better than everyone ... you know who I'm talking to. )

As far as forever -- I think it's possible, certainly, but I don't think it should be promised. That's like promising to reach the moon. It might happen, but it shouldn't be guaranteed, because if it fails then everyone is disappointed.

And as far as obeying -- I think it's bull. I wouldn't want to obey anyone, any more than I would want anyone to obey me. Simply doing everything someone else says, is not worth anything. I think a better word is "respect."

 

The expectation of marriage is half of what make it.

It's been done. Many a time.

Those are the vows. Like them or love them. Say them or don't.
I believe for a marriage to work, respect needs to be there anyway. But, 'obey' is the word in the vows. I suppose if you find a modern enough preacher you could have him say 'respect'. But, from your posts on the subject of marriage, I can't really picture you getting married. You say you have no problem with marriage, but you've downed pretty much everything there is to do with marriage.

 

Like I said, I don't hate the idea, I just disagree with a lot of (what I see as the) misconceptions.

No, I don't want to get married ... if I end up with someone and it lasts the rest of my life, so be it. But I don't want to try to force it with a piece of paper and a ceremony.

But for those people who can make it work (and I have seen it work) -- bravo! I mean that.

 

Is it a good thing? for some people its great for others not such a good idea, personally i'm not interested in marriage

Should marriage be abolished? no but everyone should have the right to be married regardless of gender

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? everyone has different reasons for getting a divorce its just one of those things thats unexpected

Would you want kids? maybe someday i'll adopt kids

What are some good reasons for divorce? people get divorced because they feel they are uncompatible with the person they once loved and they feel they'd be happy if they were no longer married

 

In answer to all your questions:

It can be, depending on the people & the situation
No
People growing apart or trust issues after any lying &/or cheating & refusal or unability to work thing out
Yes, if things were good between us when we decided to have them
Cheating, Lying about major things (like cheating or loosing money), & if things just aren't there for both of you anymore (if it's that way for only 1, I would suggest trying to work it out 1st & see if things change for the better).

 

My wedding vows did not include the word "obey" instead it was "to love, honor and cherish" I think the term "obey" is old fashioned and should not be a requirement in a marriage. My dog has to obey me, not my husband. He does love, honor and cherish me, so what more could I possibly ask for.

 

Well i think marriage CAN be a good thing...if its for the right reasons.
You have to understand that it will always be a give and take...and people are unpredictable. Its a MAJOR decision...

I think the divorce rate is so high because people just dont think the way they used to. People dont think before they leap into things. And people are stubborn.

I would love to have kids someday...i think it is important to create out of love. my boyfriend and i have been together 3 years, and we cant wait until we're ready to create this being of ourselves-- of our love. But that is way, way in the future, because we still got a lot of crazy within us! And we want to get all that out first...and maybe buy a house, because kids need somewhere to call their own...

But to each their own! People can live together for years and never marry. And for them it works. Once you do get married, its like this "thing" this establish ment you have conformed to, for some...

Ah, whatever...if it feels good, do it!

 

I think maybe they have always thought this way -- but in the past they were programmed to think otherwise. Take the programming away and you are left with a tradition that people follow without really thinking about why.
If women were still forced into subservient roles, socially and legally, then the divorce rate would be far lower than it is today. But we would still have the same social problems that undercut divorce ... just without the easy escape.

P.S.: I strongly, passionately advocate adoption. There are so many unwanted children out there already, who were victims of the idea that children are a symbol of love ... it is just as great to share someone else's baby with the one you love (or raise it as a single mother in a communal living situation as I hope to do ).