What constitutes sexual abuse?

Did he know you were only 14 or 15? If so, than he really has no excuse. To a 17 year old, being 14 or 15 doesn't really seem that young... but once you reach a certain age you'll be more likely to realize how fucked up that is. I mean... do you have anything in common sexually with a 10 year old? Even a really MATURE 10 year old? Because that's analogous to how far apart a man in his 40s and an adolescent girl would be.

 

And you're using what as a standard for this measurement? Modern law? Your faith? I've already explained the religious intrusion into law. Morality is a difficult thing to put into writing. Somebody is always going to be breaking the law somewhere.

Not that long ago, it was quite proper for a man to take a wife of 13 or 14. Thats just the way it was. People had shorter lifespans and there was a need to get things going sooner. Even today, childhood as we know it, is a luxury not all can afford. Child brides are pretty much the rule in many poorer countries. Examine history.There have been child brides since the beginning of history itself.

This isn't going to change just because somebody passes a law to the contrary.

Older men have always taken younger women and girls and always will. If the relationship is mutual, people should leave them alone.


x

 

My standard of measurement is my extensive knowledge in child and adolescent development as well as human psychology. It was also common up to recent history for individuals to send children to work in factories... is that appropriate as well? In fact, exploiting children happens often in many poor countries... does that make it arguably okay? And who the hell is talking about marriage anyway? This girl doesn't live on a farm and require more "birthing years" to produce more farmhands (i.e. kids)... why would you compare marriage in the middle ages to dating in the year 2007?

There was a very different perspective on children only just a century ago. They were considered little adults. We now know that children and adolescents are not the same as little adults. Interesting that you use faith as a basis for my somehow being narrow-minded to think it's wrong for a 14 year old to have a sexual relationship with a 40-something year old, when it is actually the more religious, faith-based states in the U.S. that have a lower age of consent. I could go on about how your reasoning is completely flawed, including the fact that we no have shorter lifespans so you're arguing against your own theory, but it's now time for me to retire for the evening.

 

(Here we go. >_<)

 

bhah,
ok I know there's lots of grey areas but I'm gonna go with this "I definitely did not belong there" among other stuff mentioned and go with my gut feelings and say this was prolly not sexual abuse.

We have laws that go overboard with teens but not enough for adult women ugh.

 

I'm not even talking about law. I'm talking about the fact that a 14 yo is not mature enough to handle an adult relationship that would occur with a 40 yo man... and the grown man should be the one to stand back and put the brakes on because a 14 yo, no matter how mature they may be, will have difficulty weighing realistic consquences.

And it doesn't matter whether it was or was not sexual abuse from our perspective because now, based on this girls actions, this man will now be thrown into jail and put on the sex offender registry. So why even debate it. Dude is fucked either way... and anyone here who's an adult dating someone below the age of consent better fucking grow up and realize the same thing could happen to them. Go date someone in your own age bracket. Hell, go find an 18 yo if you really like the young ones.