That is funny as Hell, good job. I will say that I did go to the Miller plant in Wisconsin and I had a great time. However, most American beer is watered down. I prefer the bolder tastes of English and German Beers. I have been able to get some really fun ones. I have really enjoyed Bodingtons. It's expensive but worth it.
you are wise beyond your years. start your day with coffee then start another day on yerba mate and compare the effects 4 hours later. I'm sure you know this. Except after 3 gourds I feel queasy if there's no food in my stomach seriously though where did this amazing drink come from, heaven itself? it's like joy and life in a cup as for poison, I prefer hard liquor since I have a high tolerance to alcohol. Seagrams gin if I want to pay less, otherwise Tanguerey. beer has too much volume for how little alc it has. wine is great. I only drink about 8 times a year
Scotch straight, or on the rocks (drank quick so the ice doesn't melt and dilute the taste) I like beer alot too, stuff like Alexander keiths pale ale and la find du la monde.